Considering a short vow of silence for my mental health etc.

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28 Dec 2021, 5:57 am

_cora_ wrote:
I'm actually feeling pretty good right now, I had an awesome night and successfully talked to some family members. (At their house for a few days) I have a feeling I will burn out soon, though, I'm a little overwhelmed but in a happy way. Often I don't realize how hard I'm pushing myself when I'm having a good time.
I'm excited for the vow of silence, also super nervous though. But it will be good to retreat in happiness instead of anxiety or anger. Still nervous about my parents' reactions tho. Idk how to show them that i'm doing this to care for myself, not because I'm too anxious to talk.
If it works out, though, this may prove to be a good way to calm down after overwhelming excitement.


You have mentioned that this is for your mental health, and I think that is a worthy cause. I'm excited for you to try this!

Are your parents religious at all? Have you considered bringing it up in a way that highlights that you want to spiritually experiment? Vows of silence are a part of so many religious and spiritual practices (including yoga), and it is a great opportunity to learn a lot about yourself and others around you.

There are also lots of physical benefits, of course.
I did some light digging, and there are so many articles on this subject!

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-hidde ... -silence#1
https://www.healthline.com/health/mind- ... of-silence
https://www.healthline.com/health/mind- ... of-silence
https://www.scienceofpeople.com/silence/


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28 Dec 2021, 5:58 am

Edna3362 wrote:
Tried that.

It was one of the most natural thing I did. It was more than "safe", it was fun.

It stopped that persistent and coping part of me in my head that's been compensating for cognitive verbalization, even when it's never needed draining my mental resource over 'verbal anticipation translations' that do not come.

To a point that I'm giddy half the time and want to giggle out loud when I deliberately do it.

Since me being unusual all around is not unusual...
It was fine around my mom, my sister do not think much of it ... And it driven my boss nuts I laughed out loud. :twisted:


Perhaps I'll do this more often.

I love this! I think I need to do it more often too! I took them pretty regularly as a teen. Now I just end up having forced ones due to shutdowns. Maybe if I took intentional vows of silence I wouldn't end up in a bad place!


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28 Dec 2021, 6:16 am

[quote="_cora_] But it will be good to retreat in happiness instead of anxiety or anger.[/quote]

This sounds excellent to me. See the word I bolded. :D

You could try texting your parents something like (and I’m just throwing this out there):

I’m trying a New Year’s Day experiment for one day of communication only with text and sign. This means that from 7 am to 9 pm (or whatever time) I will not be speaking with my mouth. At 9 pm (or whatever time,) I will resume speech. This means a lot to me and I hope you can enjoy the day with me. :heart: :heart: :heart:

Emphasizing the positives, letting them know your plans (ie, when you will start talking again) and assuring them of your love could help move them in a positive direction. These are just some thoughts, for you to take or leave, as only you know what applies to you.

They may react negatively no matter what you do. You can’t control their reactions.

BTW, I agree with the other posters about your plans and processes here. You are amazing!


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_cora_
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31 Dec 2021, 8:29 pm

Texting her now. Nervous af, I feel like I'm gonna explode.



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31 Dec 2021, 8:45 pm

_cora_ wrote:
Texting her now. Nervous af, I feel like I'm gonna explode.

She responded, and said she supported me! I will keep you all posted on how it goes.



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31 Dec 2021, 8:47 pm

I hope it all goes well.



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01 Jan 2022, 6:47 am

_cora_ wrote:
_cora_ wrote:
Texting her now. Nervous af, I feel like I'm gonna explode.

She responded, and said she supported me! I will keep you all posted on how it goes.

Yay! :heart:


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_cora_
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01 Jan 2022, 2:08 pm

Is it fine if I accidentally talk a couple times? Like earlier I accidentally started saying "no!" repeatedly because I was working on a bracelet and all the beads fell off... :evil:
Does it still count as an official vow of silence if I end up yelling out a few things accidentally?
For my experiences so far, it seems kind of strange, and more normal than I thought it would. I guess I thought I would feel completely different than how I normally do, but I really don't. It is highlighting things that I already know, though, like how I'm basically the only one that ever breaks the silence in our house. Also, I am starting to realize that I am more mindful by default than most people. I am usually not thinking of other things during conversation, and am just listening. It's also nice to think before I talk, or write, because usually my voice is just an automatic force, that says words I don't even know the meaning of.
So far, I'm not really uncovering anything negative about myself, mostly positives.



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01 Jan 2022, 7:23 pm

"communication" euphemism for noise pollution

Most precious lil "people" talk too much and too loud and there are too many of them

Most precious lil "people" act so enthusiastic, like every thought and emotion that goes through their head is the latest greatest scientific invention

When garbage comes out of my beak, precious lil "people" half listen and then grunt "huh" and "what" like they are the etiquette equivalent of "excuse me"

Talking serves a function sometimes

Some situations, silence is more justified than talking

Talking is overrated

There are just not that many things to sit around flapping their traps about



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01 Jan 2022, 7:33 pm

Great stuff, according to the rules it's okay for some absolute or necessary talking. Telling the beads to quit dropping was essential to make the bracelet.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vow_of_silence

Interesting that Ghandi did it every Monday.



_cora_
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01 Jan 2022, 8:36 pm

Okay, I think I learned a few things from this experience:
1. Charging your social energy, even when half of your brain doesn't want you to, can make you more motivated to interact with people and can kind of reset your social battery.
2. For some reason, I am the designated talker of the family, so when I am not filling the silence with my nonstop useless chatter (I've known it was not important nor necessary for a while now, it's kind of like... oh!)
3. Nonstop talking is actually one of my stims. I don't do it alone, because I can't talk to myself, but I for sure do it around my family a lot. When I stopped all of that completely, I wanted to stim in other ways more.
4. Sometimes something you think sounds crazy is something you can actually do!
5. Sometimes having such an overly positive attitude about something that you annoy yourself can actually be just enough positivity to rub off on other people.
6. Parents in a good mood will be much more supportive than you think. Luckily, they seemed to be in a good mood. Or maybe that was just my positivity rubbing off on them! :twisted:



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03 Jan 2022, 9:25 pm

Excellent, Cora!


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