Terrified of death and hell

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lvpin
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21 Jun 2022, 7:14 pm

Ok so to start please don't try to make me feel better by saying god etc aren't real because that won't make me feel better, especially as even when I didn't subscribe to a religion I felt a connection with a diety.

OK so I'm religious, don't want to specify but I'm so terrified of dying and going to hell if I'm wrong. I've been like this since I was a kid as I can never be sure of anything. To me, my religion is what I understand the most but, and I wonder if this is related to my autism, I don't feel that certainty other people have. This makes me absolutely terrified because I wonder if I have made the wrong choice and will be punished, or what if this is all a cruel prank and there's a god that is just waiting to punish me anyway? I ask whatever is out there to guide me to it if I'm on the wrong path but that makes me feel guilty too because I don't know if that is blasphemous to my faith. But then also if I was wrong, wouldn't God have helped me change to be right instead of damning me when I'm genuinely trying?

My parents never went on and on about hell like how others did and I'm so lucky to have a mum who is balanced and open to me questioning things + understands I don't feel completely certain even if I try. It just makes sense to me that if God does exist, they would probably leave instructions for us, I just get scared I'm doing the wrong ones. When I was a kid I used to curl up in a ball crying because I was so scared of going to hell. I was pretty chill about it recently until I watched a video on buddhist hell realms and was made absolutely terrified.

I've decided I'm just going to continue to be a positively contributing member to society and see what happens. Not just to appease a deity, but because I want to make a positive impact. Still it absolutely terrifies me and I'm currently feeling nausea, trying not to cry and have a tight feeling in my chest. I'm also trying to learn about other faiths but that freaks me out too because if they're the true one and I learn about them but don't feel the connection, doesn't that make me more sinful and worthy of hell? I don't know if anyone else's difficulty with things that are uncertain manifests like this. It's so terrifying.



auntblabby
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21 Jun 2022, 7:49 pm

my friend, do not dwell on hell. hell is right here on earth with billions immersed in the thick of it 24/7. you don't have to worry about it once you pass on to the bright world above. the fact that you're worried about it tells me you're not headed to any worse place. misdemeanors do not a trip to hell make. you think people like trumpy and poootin worry about hell for their evil acts? hell no, they don't. but that is what deservedly awaits them, as they did many bad things, really bad things and not just misdemeanors.



kitesandtrainsandcats
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21 Jun 2022, 10:05 pm

lvpin wrote:
It just makes sense to me that if God does exist, they would probably leave instructions for us, I just get scared I'm doing the wrong ones.


There is an instruction from God about how to be rescued from concerns about hell but it is widely dismissed and/or outright rejected because it is so simple; accept Jesus because he took that hell in your place in order to save you from it.
That's it, it is that simple.
Accept him and the eternal salvation he offers and from that point on, hell is a non-issue for you.
Forever.
That's it, the possibility of hell is gone from your life.
Done.
All over with.

But an astonishing number of people push back, fight it, and look for, want, desire, seek, anything else but that.
Oh well, such is life.


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cyberdad
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21 Jun 2022, 10:33 pm

lvpin wrote:
I've decided I'm just going to continue to be a positively contributing member to society and see what happens. Not just to appease a deity, but because I want to make a positive impact.


Exactly, focus on just being the best person you can.

I get angry at people who fill kids heads with this rubbish.



klanka
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22 Jun 2022, 3:41 am

In the old testament people are thrown into an abyss for questioning Moses leadership, so we assume they went to hell merely for making a mistake. So, yes I had those fears for 5 years after reading it.

But, its basically what 'kitesandtrainsandcats' said :D

Are you involved with a church? I have to admit I went to church and didnt believe the pastor when he said similar stuff to 'kitesandtrainsandcats' so you might have to go through a process like I did.



Sparkles
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22 Jun 2022, 4:08 am

Yes, kitesandtrainsandcats said it well.

I would add that much of "Christianity" is wrong. If you really believe in the death burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ then you will not be in hell. But if you go to one of many groups of Christians that believe in any way YOU can do anything to lose your salvation they are wrong and you dont need that "church" drop them out of your life. Being born again is once and forever as the Lord keeps you.

So all you need to do is change your mind on what you are thinking contrary to that.



lvpin
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22 Jun 2022, 5:32 am

Thank you for the responses but I'm not christian :'). I do believe in Jesus but in my faith we don't believe he died for our sins, or the trinity but that he is a separate person who is instead currently in heaven and will come back and lead people. I think I'm just going to continue to try and learn about other faiths while asking God to make me be on the right path :'). Surely if I'm wrong but sincere he would guide me. Interestingly, in my faith, if you genuinely made a mistake in your choice and tried your best you still have a shot at heaven so luckily my not being entirely sure isn't damning ;-; and I don't necessarily think people who don't follow are on a one way trip to hell. Just am not that nice in my thinking to myself.



kraftiekortie
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22 Jun 2022, 5:57 am

Just curious:

What faith are you? If you don’t mind me asking.



lvpin
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22 Jun 2022, 6:13 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Just curious:

What faith are you? If you don’t mind me asking.


I get quite anxious about mentioning my faith publicly so I'll PM you. I don't want my online presence linked to me.



Last edited by lvpin on 22 Jun 2022, 6:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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22 Jun 2022, 6:16 am

Thank you.



Twilightprincess
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22 Jun 2022, 8:08 am

No loving god that’s worthy of worship would punish people for unknowingly failing to worship him, her, or them the “right” way (or at all for those who’ve not been presented with sufficient evidence to believe in a deity.)


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klanka
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22 Jun 2022, 10:00 am

lvpin wrote:
I think I'm just going to continue to try and learn about other faiths while asking God to make me be on the right path :'). Surely if I'm wrong but sincere he would guide me.

I think so. I will pray for that also.



Dillogic
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22 Jun 2022, 10:08 am

I'll find peace when I die. I don't fear death. I left that somewhere else, long ago.

I fear the loss of those I love.