Feel like the only one who never planned my life goals

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chris1989
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21 Jun 2022, 1:37 pm

I remember reading a bit from a book called Happy Sexy Millionaire by a guy called Steven Bartlett, a businessman who founded Social Chain, a social media marketing company and in it he explained how at 18 he planned to have by 25 a nice flashy car and a girlfriend to name a few. And he explained how those things were not always attainable to life and that even having it doesn't necessarily achieve fulfillment despite having become by 25 a multi millionaire after dropping out at university at 18. At 21, he founded Wallpark, at 22, he co-founded Social Chain, and became a CEO at 27.
I seem to find myself wondering why at 18, I didn't write these things down when it wasn't on my mind at the time. Just like him though I dropped out of University at 22 after only four months due to not being able to keep up with the work I was expected to do both at uni and at home. I feel bad because I didn't tell myself to have a nice flashy car at 18, I had lessons at 17 and 21 but at the time they seemed daunting to me and made me stress out especially when the car stalled in the middle of the road. I had lessons again between 24 and 27 in an automatic car and seem less stressful and able to manage than in a manuel car. I passed driving at 28 and my car isn't flashy, I still am not in a relationship and never really have been in one despite having been on some dates with people I liked but didn't know if I really liked them though, one of which lived a long distance from where I lived and I felt like I wasn't really willing to commit to a long-distance relationship and just remain friends now instead. I also still feel unlike Bartlett not really interested in the type of thing that he has achieved. I just seem to think that all it is that I envy is the age that he is at that he has achieved these things and the fact that they seem like their own boss and therefore that's why have these envious thoughts because it leaves me feeling like I've achieved ''nothing'' despite driving a car, having a job just as a retail assistant but I still haven't written or published a book, still have no partner, don't have a child and probably wouldn't want one, don't own my own business as I don't know what i'd do, have never bought my ''own'' flashy car, house, etc, don't have flashy tattoos. I still keep reminding myself of that story of a 30 year old Roman tribune Julius Caesar looking up at a statue of Alexander the Great and weeping with frustration feeling that he had achieved nothing whereas Alexander had the world at his feet by the age of 30. I am aware though not to compare myself to these people as they basically killed thousands of people in achieving their goals.



DanielW
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21 Jun 2022, 2:18 pm

There's nothing to be done to change the past. You can however change the present and the future. If there are things you want to achieve, make some notes or plans to get there. If you need help, seek it out.

Its also fine to let life just unfold naturally too.

We don't all need to be millionaires, drive flashy cars, or be covered in tattoos to be successful. Take stock of what you have, what your own strengths are, and what makes YOU happy/content.



hurtloam
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21 Jun 2022, 2:30 pm

Oh I didn't plan anything. I just went where I felt like going at the time.

I've never really had any passions, so I can't relate to these super ambitious people.

I haven't been persuing happiness, I've just been hopping about doing what I find interesting until I get bored of it. And it's worked pretty well for me. They say you don't get promoted from within companies these days and it's best to job hop up the ladder which is what I did through boredom really. I didn't know it was a strategy.



Nades
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21 Jun 2022, 2:43 pm

I rarely plan life goals though trying to aim for something is helpful to most I imagine.



Edna3362
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21 Jun 2022, 5:59 pm

I don't plan my life goals either.

Because if I do, it rarely happens. Or never.
Whether it's entirely on me or something else beyond my control.

And some huge ones, I'm sure technically no one can stop me from doing it.
Except myself -- whether it's fear, guilt, ignorance, or whatever useless emotions and thoughts out there.


A part of me couldn't rely on life plans because my own parent's plans for the whole of us fail even.


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22 Jun 2022, 12:07 am

I've never planned or had goals. It's just not a possibility for me. Sometimes I feel like I don't exist in time. Not being inside of time means there is no possibility of planning.


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NotHolyRomanOrAnEmpire
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26 Jun 2022, 7:26 pm

I’ve never really had life goals. I just want to be happy, and the means for achieving that are mostly pretty modest. I do have fantasies about travelling and going on adventures, but they’re never very specific. It’s more just ‘something I might do, if I’m able to, I guess’. There’s no point making plans when I can’t predict my circumstances, I’d just be setting myself up for disappointment.



And So It Goes
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27 Jun 2022, 8:29 am

Some of the best changes that have happened to me in my life have been unplanned and spontaneous, always when I least suspect it.


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