Oh dear

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I feel dreadfully stupid. I used to fight with my parents so much, and be mean to others. I thought it would be a good idea to find myself, and cop out and not deal with the real world after high school. I only found trouble because I trusted people too much. Kind of like a gullible kid. I could have spent all that time paying attention to what's going on and being rational. And then life would have been good. But I gave up on life quite young. And didn't pay attention to what was going on. So stupid. So so stupid. Didn't realize how dangerous and serious the adult world would be.

My life is such a mess. And there doesn't seem to be any way to fix it. I thought about paying a shaman. But she charges so much per session and claims on her website her services are not a cure. Thought about going to a Native American reserve but then thought the shaman there would want money too.

Thought about going to the Amazon to visit a tribal shaman. So he could help me through death and the afterworld. Can't afford it.

Screw it. I'll visit the artist shaman even though she charges a lot and go to a reserve Too!! !

Sounds like a waste of money to me, to be honest.

Well yeah I know. But still I've never tried it before. Would just like to try it at least once.

And visiting a reserve would be something different for me too.

I really don't know what else to do. Things are pretty seriouse for me right now. And I've tried everything else.

Do you have First Nations heritage yourself?

Even if you don’t, it probably would be good to visit a reserve.

No unfortunately but I know there are some that allow visitors. I just have to figure out which ones. And I have a friend that's half native so he'd be taking me there.

Hello,
Just curious why you need a Shaman?
I have a similar situation. I am now 42 and lost my life to this point. Through fear of pretty much everything. With poor quality parents and family and no one to turn to. I have made decisions and found that if I only had the strength to stand up to people and not fear the consequences I would be better off. When you are young you know nothing and anything told to you just disappears because you don't care. There should have been a person there to discipline you, I don't mean tell you off but keep you on the straight and narrow. Structure, that is what you need. Find something to focus on. Make long and short term goals. Goals that are not out of reach. I play too many video games because they are right in front of me. I should be doing more wood working. That takes time to set up, perform and cleanup at the end. I am not too sure of what your problem is. But usually keeping busy and not focusing on individual problems is what is recommended.
I hope you get it sorted, what ever it is.

Well, I ruined my own life, then at 38 received the holy spirit, I'm 44 now. Since then I've gotten consistent spiritual messages that my life is going to turn around for the better.

Nothing has actually happened though.

(Spiritual messages means being part of a Christian prayer group and getting messages from God or having dreams with messages in them)

Those are some good ideas ninjaman. You'll have to look back through my other posts to understand why I want a shaman. I'd like to somehow be my own shaman though.

I am curious what you're seeking in a Shaman and what your expectations are of a visit/session.

Like.. are you seeking the guided use of psychedelic plant medicine(s) to see what you can learn from the experience/entities in order to benefit your daily life? That sort of thing ?

I know a lot of these types of spiritual hippie people from a variety of places and walks of life - Indigenous, Colombian, local Canadians etc. I only have experience with a couple of milder psychedelics (although, in heroic doses lol) and not yet with the much more intense DMT/Ayahuasca.. but I have had at least 3 friends offer to "officiate the ceremony," when the time is right for me.

I've also had several people describe their life changing experiences of the substance to me. They're NT vs ASD, but, WOW! It seems that people tend to have profound life changing experiences.. either on a ~10-20min DMT blast off or several hour long ayahuasca tea ceremony.

I intend to find out for myself what these things are all about and how the experience may change me - hopefully for the better like my friends.. but, I don't have expectations that they will "fix," me. Never know, it could, though. I have one friend that did DMT once in order to break his massive drug addictions that were going to literally be the death of him.. and it worked. He's an extremely hard working righteous man now, and it was his experience under the influence of DMT that made him that way. He said he came away from the experience feeling that "there is only The Work," - that he has to work so hard and do as much good as possible to feel he's living up to the experience of having been entrusted with the knowledge of secrets of life/afterlife that he learned during that trip. Very interesting that a 10-20min experience can alter someone's path so profoundly that they completely ditch all hard substances and get to (focused) work for the rest of their life.

I have no idea if this is the experience you're seeking, but if it is, it's accessible without travelling to a South American jungle. You just need to meet the right type of people that are tuned into this sort of thing. And if no such community exists where you are, I'm sure you can find some sort of retreat type place that offers these things within your Province. There's a psychedelic revolution happening now much the same as there was a push for cannabis legalization over the last couple decades. Now people are pushing forward with sharing the positives of other plant medicines and their impacts on peoples' lives. Maybe there's a bigger push here in BC than anywhere else in Canada, though.. being the Wild West and all. But you may find a similar substance and guide via a Native Church where you are - although from what I've been told they tend to be more focused on utilizing peyote vs. other plant medicines.. and my one friend, before he passed away, told me "Don't do it!" lololol he was kinda serious, but the reason he said not to do it is because it makes you vomit all night in between sipping the tea.. so it's an intense experience of being able to tap into the ancestral plain and communicate with Ancestors, combined with a very unpleasant human body experience of being violently ill on and off for ~10-12 hours. Still, though, if I'm ever invited to participate in a ceremony I think I'll clear my schedule and just go with it - and I'm sure my friend will laugh at my from the afterlife and tell me "Fkn told ya, bro! "

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Bro if I was well enough to do heroic doses of psilocybin I would. The way my life is and ptsd I find psychedelics haven’t helped and maybe just made things worse? I need to lay off the pot. I’ve got a serious heart condition now and can’t really take psychedelics anymore. But if I had a good handle on myself and life to begin with I would of. But you see I didn’t before I took them. They are a lot of fun and very spiritually liberating. If you’re not crazy to begin with. They must be used wisely.

Not sure if I’ll find a shaman that can help me with the mental issues and life problems I have. I just want to see what they’re all about. Life is probably the best teacher. You learn the best through trying and if you fail try something different or try again.

I wish someone would of told me that. I’m dying and have too many enemies. I’m scared to be happy. I’m tired of living in the darkness. I need a shaman to help me deal with the darkness in my life.

From my understanding of shamanistic medicine they tend to utilize plant medicines, like various psychedelics, in their rituals/ceremonies to guide people through traumatic experiences etc.. vs. simply doing some smudging and saying a prayer of sorts.

That's what *I* would expect any shaman to do. Not sure what you're expecting. But, if you do find some sort of shaman practitioner that's able to help you in any way w/o you ingesting plant medicines then it's worth the effort & experience.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

"not deal with the real world"?

monastery
military
Peace Corps
commune
living in the wild
hermit/telecommute

There is something wrong with everything.

That's because there is something wrong with me.

Do you realize that there's something wrong with EVERYBODY?

I wish I could give you a real hug, rather than a mere cyber hug.