I don't want to be here anymore

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lvpin
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21 Jul 2022, 7:34 am

This recent weather is freaking me out and I truly believe that our leaders are too stupid to do anything to stop things from getting too bad. I have no hope and I just don't want to live anymore but at the same time I can't end my life. I've watched too many things about the trauma you leave behind which I don't want to put my loved ones through that and I'm also terrified of trying and it failing with awful consequences + the pain of trying. Ideally I'd be in a coma for awhile to finally get a break because I can't do this anymore. All I can do is harm myself but that doesn't stop the pain and overwhelms me with guilt. I'm so sick of everything and I'm so trapped. Also please do not try to convince me that climate change is not real, I am a person who goes with science and it will just frustrate me. My life is already basically over, why do I have to live through more of it?



kraftiekortie
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21 Jul 2022, 7:47 am

Climate change is for real.

I wish you could take more advantage of the relatively cooler weather now.

I know there will be heatwaves in the future---but it's better to think about the present, where it's not so hot.

How is your job coming along?



Jleger91
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21 Jul 2022, 10:37 am

Your life means something to a lot of people and life has positives too; on the other side of the wall of the struggle that life is something amazing; Peridot from Steven Universe is your avatar. She struggled quite a lot; happiness was on the other side of the struggle, just as grass is always green. Just because the world seems bleak, that's a narrow lens on the bad stuff, and there are lots of good things. Can you put the lens on the good? There's always horror but horror isn't the only genre.



Where_am_I
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22 Jul 2022, 1:22 pm

What Jleger91 said.

I hope you're doing okay, Ivpin.


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lvpin
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22 Jul 2022, 9:36 pm

Thank you guys. I feel a bit calmer now. I was really panicked because my city was literally on fire because of the heat which is unheard of in the UK I'm pretty sure. I'm feeling better now. I don't really know if I ever am at risk due to these feelings since the most I've done really is stop caring about when I cross the road etc and just walking across.

Work is good but tough. I'm learning a lot of new skills I didn't think I needed.



kraftiekortie
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25 Jul 2022, 10:42 pm

About 46 sites broke the previous all-time high temperature for the UK.

Even parts of Scotland broke 35C.

But the UK pretty much survived all this.



Hollywood_Guy
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26 Jul 2022, 8:39 pm

Just think at least you realize that if you do kill yourself, you will feel sorry for causing trauma in loved ones. Nobody wants to go through something like that. I don't want you to do that. Nobody here wants you to do that.



CockneyRebel
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26 Jul 2022, 11:46 pm

Just imagine that someone gave you a really cool gift and you destroyed it. That's what you would be doing if you take your own life. God gave you the gift of life to cherish. Don't throw that gift away.


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Yaomo
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27 Jul 2022, 4:55 pm

I do agree that everything seems rather hopeless, current development seems more like walking backwards into a fire. But there are also people who try to make a good change for the environment we need to live somewhat comfortably.

I'm not too attached to life myself. The value of life seems to be emotional rather than logical. I'd be very upset if my own child chose to stop living, and she would definitely be upset if I stopped living. It's odd how I care more for other people's lives than my own.

I do not know what kind of encouragement you need, so I can't give you any of the sort. But I'll mention my own favorite reason for living despite it all: I really wish to see the end of it. The end of the world. Which is highly unlikely to happen any time soon, but that would be so awesome. Not that I want to see my own hometown burn down with people and myself in it, that would be terrible.

I'm thinking that I probably just need to move someplace else. Change my job. Do something different, meet other people than the ones I don't really meet nowadays. Wanting to live has a lot to do with having something or someone to look forward to. I just have to find that again.



funeralxempire
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27 Jul 2022, 6:19 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
Just imagine that someone gave you a really cool gift and you destroyed it. That's what you would be doing if you take your own life. God gave you the gift of life to cherish. Don't throw that gift away.


I'm not sure those clichés offer much comfort for someone who's suffering.


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Twilightprincess
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28 Jul 2022, 1:49 pm

lvpin wrote:
Thank you guys. I feel a bit calmer now. I was really panicked because my city was literally on fire because of the heat which is unheard of in the UK I'm pretty sure. I'm feeling better now. I don't really know if I ever am at risk due to these feelings since the most I've done really is stop caring about when I cross the road etc and just walking across.

Work is good but tough. I'm learning a lot of new skills I didn't think I needed.


I’m glad you are doing some better. Anxiety and depression are REALLY difficult to live with.

Do you see a therapist or take any medications for anxiety or depression?


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