Brainfog

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Usually I sleep 8 hours a day. Sometimes it is hard to fall asleep or stay asleep. Frequently exhausted all day long. Work as a Lot Attendant. Pushing carts in the parking lot and loading merchandise. Reckless drivers almost ran over my worthless corpse plenty of times. A coworker allegedly got hit by a car. Off leash dogs. Day laborers screaming "Chino" at me like it's my name. (At least two cops are always on duty. Plenty of security guards). Customers barking at me. Too stressful. Brainfog. The job itself is not that bad but it is in the middle of a homeless encampment and any old riffraff can and will come hang out in the parking lot all day long.
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Lot Attendant Tattletale tom had the nerve to tell me "have not seen you in a while", but I was clocked out for my officially scheduled lunch. Paranoid tattletale tom or another slave or customer is going to be successful at getting my worthless corpse made redundant. Tattletale tom appears to be in cahoots with a lot of managers. Everyone has subconscious biases. "At will" employer. Zero due diligence. Zero due process.

Some other Lot Attendants, like Steve and Javeel waste a lot of time and energy sitting around flapping their beaks.

Two days ago, Lot Attendant Jamiel left the parking lot at 11am in someone's car and I didn't see him until 1pm.

Sometimes a customer makes me load some merchandise and I have to get loading assistance. Some merchandise too heavy for one person. One cabinet was 510 pounds and six feet tall. And then when I try to call the lil dipshits on the walkie talkie they don't as answer and the customer keeps barking at me for not getting loading assistance fast enough.



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On days off I nap one or two times and it is not enough sleep. Good thing I don't have a second job, school, children or anything like that. No car, drugs, cigarettes, or gym membership or dependents. Autistic, clinically depressed. My company reminds me of "survival of the fittest". Been working there two years and counting. That's the longest I have ever had a job. 39. The second longest was 5 months when I was 18. Plenty of jobs had the nerve to make my worthless corpse redundant. As a result I am afraid that if the current job makes my worthless corpse redundant, nobody will ever hire me again and I will end up homeless.

Feet hurt a lot. Plenty of people work more hours than me, work at jobs where they have to stand up, older, fatter, bad health. How do they handle the foot pain?

Plenty of people earn minimum wage and pay rent, car, and raise children and et cetera. How do they do it?

All you can do is your best. You need your breaks. Let every day look after itself.

Sounds like you work in a similar place as I do. I'm not a lot attendant but I do plenty of loading, very short staffed. Oh and that parking lot, people are crazy and just don't care. Brainfog is something I've struggled with. I feel like all these people make all these demands on me and try to make their problems mine, and at the end of the day my brain is just spent, also when I wake up. I hope you find relief.

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It is correct that you cannot do "better" than your best

However, your *best* is constantly changing. Your *best* depends on many factors, some of which are constantly changing, can't be controlled or measured

Anything could be anyone's "best"

Doing your "best" is better than doing your worst. However, "don't put all your eggs in one basket" is also correct