What destroyed your life?

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blazingstar
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19 Nov 2022, 6:10 pm

Lots of horrible things have happened, been done to me, but I don’t see my life as destroyed.


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Persephone29
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20 Nov 2022, 12:13 am

Caz72 wrote:
drugs and alcohol..no i dont do it any more but im suffering long term damage to my body because of it



Same


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Edna3362
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20 Nov 2022, 8:53 am

This culture, being born within socioeconomic inaccessibility and more human ignorance in general.

If it's about my choices, I'd say conscience and fear did it.
Without that, I would've choose to flee -- make or break my own life.

Fear seems an obvious reason.

Why conscience?
I can't "leave" family and therefore so does whatever crap I have to deal with around me -- I love them "enough" to stick around and not want to worry them.
The basis is more about me being guilty and not wanting to hurt them and not feel abandoned than actual love and to voluntarily give myself to them, to actually be there for them. I don't like it.

And demanding "support" felt like becoming an opportunistic bastard who would scam those who had been willfully invested on me.

Whatever this is, something within me is fricking distorted and I don't even know where it came from.

Staying just stifles my growth.
And staying also means playing by my weaknesses, my not strengths and thus life going nowhere unless I'm elsewhere that do foster what I could and would do.


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Jakki
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20 Nov 2022, 9:37 am

Edna3362 wrote:
This culture, being born within socioeconomic inaccessibility and more human ignorance in general.

If it's about my choices, I'd say conscience and fear did it.
Without that, I would've choose to flee -- make or break my own life.

Fear seems an obvious reason.

Why conscience?
I can't "leave" family and therefore so does whatever crap I have to deal with around me -- I love them "enough" to stick around and not want to worry them.
The basis is more about me being guilty and not wanting to hurt them and not feel abandoned than actual love and to voluntarily give myself to them, to actually be there for them. I don't like it.

And demanding "support" felt like becoming an opportunistic bastard who would scam those who had been willfully invested on me.

Whatever this is, something within me is fricking distorted and I don't even know where it came from.

Staying just stifles my growth.
And staying also means playing by my weaknesses, my not strengths and thus life going nowhere unless I'm elsewhere that do foster what I could and would do.


Sorry your circumstances are the way they are . Sometimes victims have trouble. Freeing themselves from. What is
Familiar . Sometimes a persons identity reflects from being in a certain familial role .
But shouldn’t have to be in a victims role to be a entity in that same familial role . Imho.
Hopefully not meant to offend,perhaps see as just a outside observation .
Thought what you wrote was very well written/expressive .


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AprilR
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20 Nov 2022, 10:20 am

Being born in this country with no one caring about or helping people like me. Nothing had the chance to be good from the start.



IsabellaLinton
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20 Nov 2022, 11:52 am

Lives can be destroyed ^^
That doesn't mean they're destroyed forever.
They can be rebuilt over and over again like a house of cards.



hurtloam
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20 Nov 2022, 12:46 pm

A virus. I have post viral fatigue and I can hardly do anything these days.



Jakki
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20 Nov 2022, 3:05 pm

^^ thank you for being here Hurtloam …^^^
Hope some recovery comes your way ?? Eventually ?


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hurtloam
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20 Nov 2022, 4:15 pm

Jakki wrote:
^^ thank you for being here Hurtloam …^^^
Hope some recovery comes your way ?? Eventually ?


Thank you.



Blue_Blake
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20 Nov 2022, 4:34 pm

Klonopin. Chemically dependent, been on it for 10 years now. 6mg daily. Going to a rehab facility soon. Scary to think that my brain needs these chemicals now.



Misslizard
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20 Nov 2022, 5:41 pm

The worst thing was the death of both my adoptive parents when I was a child. (Great-Aunt and Great-Uncle)
My ex-husband.


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Edna3362
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20 Nov 2022, 9:54 pm

Jakki wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
This culture, being born within socioeconomic inaccessibility and more human ignorance in general.

If it's about my choices, I'd say conscience and fear did it.
Without that, I would've choose to flee -- make or break my own life.

Fear seems an obvious reason.

Why conscience?
I can't "leave" family and therefore so does whatever crap I have to deal with around me -- I love them "enough" to stick around and not want to worry them.
The basis is more about me being guilty and not wanting to hurt them and not feel abandoned than actual love and to voluntarily give myself to them, to actually be there for them. I don't like it.

And demanding "support" felt like becoming an opportunistic bastard who would scam those who had been willfully invested on me.

Whatever this is, something within me is fricking distorted and I don't even know where it came from.

Staying just stifles my growth.
And staying also means playing by my weaknesses, my not strengths and thus life going nowhere unless I'm elsewhere that do foster what I could and would do.


Sorry your circumstances are the way they are . Sometimes victims have trouble. Freeing themselves from. What is
Familiar . Sometimes a persons identity reflects from being in a certain familial role .
But shouldn’t have to be in a victims role to be a entity in that same familial role . Imho.
Hopefully not meant to offend,perhaps see as just a outside observation .
Thought what you wrote was very well written/expressive .

Not familiarity (which I'm sick of).

Just guilt.
To a point that I wish that mom or my family in general would just hate me instead so I could have a reasonable reason to leave them.

Love doesn't make me stronger for them.
It just makes me just not want to ask anything of them. They won't leave me, they won't let me go -- I want them to let me go and let me leave.

No thanks to conscience -- my expression of "love" to them is simply not burden them with guilt, fear and worry -- which itself is an expression of loving concern.

A person whose conscience isn't twisted would felt flattered that someone at least cared -- I don't. I just felt guilt and frustration at the very fact that someone cared.


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DanielW
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20 Nov 2022, 10:10 pm

Nothing has destroyed my life - I'm still very much alive despite a lot of hardship. - I may get knocked down more than the average person, but I've always gotten up again.



IsabellaLinton
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20 Nov 2022, 10:54 pm

Loyalty to people who didn't deserve it.



Relax_on_Standby
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20 Nov 2022, 11:08 pm

Falling in love with someone before we both had psychotic breaks with delusions about each other.


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IsabellaLinton
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20 Nov 2022, 11:27 pm

Taking people at their word.

Inability to read eyes or body language.

Forgiving too easily.

Fear of hurting people.

Standing up for myself.

Having the emotional IQ of a cumquat.