So you've lived most of your life. How do you feel about it?

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r00tb33r
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06 Dec 2022, 6:29 pm

It's a question for some of the older members here, say in their 40s and up.

What are your thoughts on having already lived most of your life? Worry? Regret? Nostalgia?


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IsabellaLinton
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06 Dec 2022, 6:41 pm

I don't have a problem with getting old and dying.
I do feel very nostalgic about my childhood though.
I'm always wanting to go back in time rather than forward.
The future freaks me out because it's an unknown.
I like the past because ... at least I know what it was.

Regret - No, despite all the freaking shite I've endured.



Misslizard
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06 Dec 2022, 8:19 pm

Glad it’s behind me.Right now is much better.
Quality time.


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blitzkrieg
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06 Dec 2022, 8:36 pm

I am my early/mid thirties.

My life thus far has been a challenge, sometimes a challenge that seems too much to bear. But my life has also had some nice moments, despite a lot of unfortunate luck.



kitesandtrainsandcats
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06 Dec 2022, 8:56 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
What are your thoughts on having already lived most of your life? Worry? Regret? Nostalgia?


None of the above.
My thoughts are that it is what it is.
Continue being who I am where I am living the life which is.

If my life could have been different in the past then it would have been different.
The things which did happen, the things which I did, the things which I chose, were the natural and logical effects of their causes, as were the things which did not happen and the things which I did not do and the things which I did not choose.

In order for different things to have happened there would have to have been different causes.
There were not different causes.
There were only the causes which existed.
There were not the causes which did not exist.

While my life on this world hits the 60-year point in 6 months and I have lived most of what will be my existing life and lifetime in this world there is an eternal life to come, which renders the concept of living 'most' of my life a non-thing since there is no 'most' of endless eternity.


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FleaOfTheChill
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06 Dec 2022, 10:26 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
It's a question for some of the older members here, say in their 40s and up.

What are your thoughts on having already lived most of your life? Worry? Regret? Nostalgia?


Hm. Worry? Nah. I don't worry much about my life when it comes to aging. It might benefit me some to worry about it. Instead, I stress other things like going out in public or making phone calls. I think it would likely benefit me some to worry a little about my future. It doesn't seem to happen though. As for dying, I never was afraid of that when I was young, and still find I'm not now.

Regret? Eh. I've done that before and it got me nowhere. These days I tend to look at the past and undesirable outcomes and wonder what can I learn from that, what can I do differently next time, and so on. And should I find I have issues living on from some event long gone, I try to find ways to deal, cope, and be a more functional person.

Nostolgia? Yeah. I get that now and then. Despite having some difficulties in life, I've had a lot of really great things happen as well. I've had a lot of good times, done some crazy stuff, gone to cool places, had a few adventures, and met some great animals and people along the way. Now and then I find myself talking about something that happened or laughing to myself about this, that or whatever. I've led a pretty strange life and I'm glad for that. It's been interesting.



autisticelders
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07 Dec 2022, 8:25 am

I was diagnosed with autism at age 68, I am 71 today.
I have been very relieved to learn about my autism since it explains almost everything that happened in the sad and sordid past. Self understanding and understanding how autism had its way in almost everything of the past has been so healing.

I think everybody has regrets and "what ifs" from the past... human nature, right? I am more at peace now than I have ever been, no point wishing I was younger, better, more beautiful, smarter, not autistic. the chips fell and I landed heads' up... LOL.

Satisfied at present, and counting my blessings. How many of us in this age category die without ever knowing the truth about their autism diagnosis and have regrets, self blame, unhealed pain, and never know the truth?


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Joe90
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07 Dec 2022, 8:58 am

I'm in my early 30s but I still fancy replying to your thread. :)

My life itself isn't that bad but I don't like being me, as in having my brain.

I do love a "standard" sort of life that many working class NTs live: living with partner/spouse, going to work, seeing family and friends when I can, etc.

I like my job but due to my ADHD I can't really get a job with too many demands because it usually involves too much organising, remembering, focusing, etc - the key things I find hard. Also I'm "too soft" to be authoritive.

I have a very good memory of years gone by but I do beat myself up for all the bad/stupid things I said and did in the past, especially as a teenager. I also wish I was nicer to my mum, now she's passed on I feel I can't make up for all the times I was an ungrateful, misbehaving, brat to her. No wonder she got ill with all the s**t she had to.put up with from me.

I do wish I was normal. That is one thing I spend most of my life moping about, especially when I get reminded that I'm not normal by alpha-type people who treat me like I'm worthless and dumb.


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usagibryan
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07 Dec 2022, 9:42 am

Regret mostly. Anger with myself. I spent most of my life avoiding things, avoiding social situations, not putting myself out there. In my 20s I was basically a hikikomori. I'm doing fine now, in a relationship, have a stable job, etc. But it took so long and I can't help wonder how much further in life I'd be or how much more well adjusted if I had just stepped out of my comfort zone sooner. There are still a lot of things other people have experienced, earlier or more often, than I have, because I spent all those years alone in a room on a computer. Maybe I'd be further along in my career or have more friends, or be better at socializing, who knows.


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07 Dec 2022, 9:54 am

I can't say that I feel all that great about it.
I'm in the middle of yet another major life upheaval, and I have no firm ideas about where I'm headed.
I'll be 54 in a week.

Darron


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kraftiekortie
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07 Dec 2022, 10:02 am

I feel like I've wasted a lot of my life because I feared failure I remember more from when I was about 5-18 years old than I do from when I was in my 40s. The past 10 years have been pretty much a blur.

I'm almost 62. I never became a professional. I never had a kid. But I'm pretty okay. I have some life left in me where I could rectify my regrets.



rse92
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07 Dec 2022, 2:28 pm

I'm 62, was diagnosed at 60.

I don't live in the past, and I accept full responsibility for all the hard times I have had. I lost everything, and then I rebuilt it. I feel like I have my autism to thank for that in a way. We don't stay beaten.

I have no regrets. I have two beautiful daughters who love me, and I have been fortunate to have a career renaissance in my grey haired years. And I'm still here. I am in good health, and family history tells me I have a good 20+ years to look forward. And if God came down to take me today, I'm ready to go.



lostproperty
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08 Dec 2022, 7:19 am

I feel like my life ended at 16 in many ways, as if I was playing the game for real up to that point and then went into offline practice mode.

I feel nostalgic for age 2-10, a mostly comfortable stress free and sometimes fun childhood. 11-16 was hell, I still haven't come to terms with it, full of regrets and still dream I'm back at school most nights.



usagibryan
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08 Dec 2022, 8:43 am

lostproperty wrote:
I feel like my life ended at 16 in many ways, as if I was playing the game for real up to that point and then went into offline practice mode.

I feel nostalgic for age 2-10, a mostly comfortable stress free and sometimes fun childhood. 11-16 was hell, I still haven't come to terms with it, full of regrets and still dream I'm back at school most nights.


I feel like that, after high school, but I've been slowly picking up the pieces. I think 11 years old was the happiest most fulfilled time of my life and that feels like a very weird thing to say.


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08 Dec 2022, 4:32 pm

39 right now. There are a lot of things that I regret having done. However, I am glad that it is over. Even if I get shot with a gun tomorrow and drop dead, 39 is already long enough. Quality versus quantity. I could have made better or worse choices. The circumstances beyond my control could have been better or worse than it was. And I haven't accomplished anything like I assumed I would. No STEM degree. Not even a professional job. No marriage or children. Nothing accomplished. Nothing to show for 39 years. But whatever. "Life" goes on and on and on. Besides, "zero sum game".



goldfish21
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09 Dec 2022, 11:10 am

Wut?

I'm 40.

Hoping I get the longevity of my mothers side where even the men live to 90-95 or so.

So, can't really tell ya considering most of my lifespan still lies ahead. 8)

Further, just a note: IMO people don't reeeeeally start living their life until they start getting things figured out between 20-25 years old and are a full grown proper adult. Yes, people are alive from the day they're born, but childhood, growing up, maturing.. all of that is just preparation for beginning to live the life you want to when it comes to work/career/sports/art and any other achievements. So even at 40-50, we're nowhere near 1/2 way through living - unless for some strange reason you plan on dying by 60/65 ?? :?


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