You guys find being infantilized tiring?

Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

UncannyDanny
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Nov 2014
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,491
Location: Middle-Earth

07 Dec 2022, 8:17 pm

You guys ever feel like people tend to talk to you like speaking to a troublemaking and/or stupid child and does not take you seriously?

IDK, I think everyone I pretty much talk to tend to treat me that way. Sure, I can be pretty naive at times, and there are some things I'm very sensitive to, but to infantilize me altogether just because of those flaws and/or being autistic?! Honesly, I find that really disrespectful. :(

Do you guys have those kind of problems with neurotypical people, too?



kitesandtrainsandcats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2016
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,637
Location: Missouri

07 Dec 2022, 8:32 pm

UncannyDanny wrote:
Do you guys have those kind of problems with neurotypical people, too?


Occasionally.

I'm fortunate to encounter very few people who do or have done that.


_________________
"There are a thousand things that can happen when you go light a rocket engine, and only one of them is good."
Tom Mueller of SpaceX, in Air and Space, Jan. 2011


DeathFlowerKing
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2022
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,675
Location: City of Roses

08 Dec 2022, 12:01 am

My mom does this to me and my brother (who is also autistic) every. single. time. she talks to us. And if I ever try to stand up for my right to be not be talked down to like an unwanted imbecile she gets FURIOUSLY ANGRY with me.



Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1932
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,952
Location: wales

08 Dec 2022, 1:49 pm

Occasionally yes. It's tricky to tip toe around it. Once someone starts infantalising somebody it never seems to stop as they will never see you as an adult.

I've considered how to deal with these people and I don't have any good ideas yet. I'm planning on a final resort of seeing how they change using pure agressive intimidation.



Redpaws
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 274

10 Dec 2022, 8:06 am

Occasionally with some people, and it is disrespectful and angering.


_________________
"Hver eneste gang vi snakker eller uttrykker oss nedsettende om andre mennesker for egenskaper eller attributter de ikke kan råde over, om det er hudfarge, etnisitet, en funksjonsnedsettelse, eller hva som helst – blir vi bitte litt mindre. Det er jo dette det hele handler om, å tåle det som er annerledes fra oss selv og som ikke er selvvalgt."
- Fredrik Solvang


Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,247
Location: New York City (Queens)

10 Dec 2022, 10:18 am

I've occasionally encountered people who talk to me like that.

I think living in a highly multicultural neighborhood, with people from all over the world, has helped me avoid this problem, for the most part.

Also, when I was younger, there used to be a lot of men who routinely talked to women in an infantilizing way. Fortunately, that tendency seems to have diminished over the years, at least around here.


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter (new as of 2021)


AprilR
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,248

17 Dec 2022, 2:43 pm

Yes. I look a lot younger than i am to boot, so most people call me talk as if they pity me.



old_comedywriter
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jan 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 518
Location: Somewhere west of where you are

17 Dec 2022, 3:30 pm

I have a hard time remembering to not do that to NTs.


_________________
It ain't easy being me, but someone's gotta do it.


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,395
Location: Adelaide, Australia

21 Dec 2022, 8:31 am

Yes. In my younger days there was this organisation called the Autism Association. I hated them but I didn't have the words to describe why. Now I know that the reason I hated then is because they always patronised everyone.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


SkinnyElephant
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 20 Aug 2022
Gender: Male
Posts: 219

22 Dec 2022, 7:59 pm

At a past job, my boss totally infantilized me.

Any time he saw me on a call, he would concoct an idea in his head of what the caller might be saying. Then he'd tell me what to say in response.

Most the time, the thing he'd tell me to say would have nothing to do with the discussion. But, you have to obey your boss (especially a boss who infantilizes you). So I'd say what he told me to say (and the caller would be totally confused)



SkinnyElephant
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 20 Aug 2022
Gender: Male
Posts: 219

22 Dec 2022, 8:01 pm

Nades wrote:
Occasionally yes. It's tricky to tip toe around it. Once someone starts infantalising somebody it never seems to stop as they will never see you as an adult.

I've considered how to deal with these people and I don't have any good ideas yet. I'm planning on a final resort of seeing how they change using pure agressive intimidation.


You're right, they (people who baby us) will never view us as true adults.

On my previous post, I mentioned a boss who babied me. Some people say it was foolish of me to ultimately quit that job.

But when your boss will never view you as a true adult, it's best to leave.