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Lost_dragon
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06 Jan 2023, 7:41 pm

I've often wondered about this phrase. What exactly it means to have an inner child. I know that some people seem to have this whimsical picture of childhood, but I don't remember it that way. Rather, I was actually a fairly morbid and gloomy child.

Yet, I am aware of the happy memories. I think what I miss most is being able to just, have a plan made for me that I can follow leisurely. Some moments seem to last outside of time. Where people are just there for each other and you get to exist without worries weighing on your brain for a moment. It's nice. The feeling of being taken care of by someone.

Sometimes I think about what a former therapist of mine told me. How fear seemed to be a common theme throughout my childhood. She went on to talk about how I felt pressure to be independent and to battle everything on my own. Which is true. I was like that. Never wanting to be a burden. Always pressure to solve my own problems.

Yet now, it's the opposite, where I find it difficult not to ask others about everything little thing to make sure I'm doing it right. It can be difficult to find a balance.

To feel comfortable asking for guidance, but also to have the confidence to make your own steps. I don't know, it's just something that's been on my mind.


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Edna3362
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06 Jan 2023, 11:27 pm

The inner child ia actually what is called the nervous system. More closely related to the sympathetic nervous system.

It has it's own separate "time and context" where everything in the past is present that do influence your present.


It doesn't have to be the true self, or in context with developmental disorders and emotional maturity VS age, or who you were as a child.
But it is more about childhood adversities, memories of experiences in an environment and upbringing.


Everyone has an inner child.
Healthier ones have stable families and are well cared for and have stable foundations as adults. They have less issues with the balancing act.
The parents in their head are firm and do know what to do.

The less healthy ones don't... Until they're supposedly old enough to undo those cracks and be responsible for it.
They tend to have so many triggers and unresolved crap -- past issues trapped in their bodies, the headaches of emotional processing.
The parents in their head are not reliable, and therefore one has to 'parent themselves'.

Mine is a screaming angry child.
Doesn't matter if my childhood isn't full of fear and hate -- even if it's my happiest days of my life, that angry little girl still exists because something did or did not happen.
And in my own case, I wanna beat her bloody for just existing and having to deal with her.


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kraftiekortie
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09 Jan 2023, 11:53 am

I have an "inner child." At least he doesn't make too much noise most of the time :P



lostonearth35
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09 Jan 2023, 12:02 pm

Your inner child is your ability to still enjoy things from when you were a kid, like cartoons and toys and video games. And you don't care what people say, you're never too old for such things.



blazingstar
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09 Jan 2023, 6:57 pm

About 30 years ago there were lectures and programs and retreats about one’s inner child.

For those subjected to trauma as a child, it was posited that wounded child still exists within the adult and that the adult can learn how to protect and heal the inner child. Google John Bradshaw.

Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh also wrote of learning to comfort and love the frightened inner child.


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Lost_dragon
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09 Jan 2023, 7:56 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
Your inner child is your ability to still enjoy things from when you were a kid, like cartoons and toys and video games. And you don't care what people say, you're never too old for such things.


Well in that case, my inner child is doing just fine. 8)

I love cartoons. I love the way they move and how the medium allows for such exaggeration. Frankly I've been meaning to get into animating as a hobby.

In the colder months, I spend a fair amount of time gaming. Mainly Animal Crossing and Pokémon.


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ThisTimelessMoment
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10 Jan 2023, 12:34 pm

I have found the inner child concept very useful. I believe there are past selves in me that are stuck in highly emotional past moments. Moments of trauma. I am learning to better communicate with these bits of me. By doing so I can change my relationship with the trauma.


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lostonearth35
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10 Jan 2023, 2:34 pm

My inner child packed her bags and left years ago because she couldn't stand the fact that she grew up to be me.



magz
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10 Jan 2023, 2:50 pm

Image

Seriously:
I interpret my "inner child" as an ability to access my unfiltered emotions.
At the beginning of my "main" therapy process, I had to talk about my dreams and childhood memories because these were the only areas where I accessed my actual feelings.


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