I wish I could commit suicide right now

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Recidivist
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12 Mar 2023, 8:00 pm

Can you meditate skibum?

Have you heard of ego death? It's mostly done with psychedelics but is possible with meditation.

The only reason I'm mentioning this is that you mentioned mentally committing suicide, and you could look at ego death as a type of mental suicide and rebirth.

Here is an article and video that you may or may not find useful.

How to Experience Ego Death Without Drugs

It's a bit hippy/new age but if it works it works. Please also note that ego death can be very scary and research needs to be done before you attempt it.

If I've overstepped the mark or offended, please report this post to have it removed.


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skibum
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15 Mar 2023, 12:27 pm

Recidivist wrote:
Can you meditate skibum?

Have you heard of ego death? It's mostly done with psychedelics but is possible with meditation.

The only reason I'm mentioning this is that you mentioned mentally committing suicide, and you could look at ego death as a type of mental suicide and rebirth.

Here is an article and video that you may or may not find useful.

How to Experience Ego Death Without Drugs

It's a bit hippy/new age but if it works it works. Please also note that ego death can be very scary and research needs to be done before you attempt it.

If I've overstepped the mark or offended, please report this post to have it removed.
I watched the video. It's very good. I have been doing that instinctively since I was a little kid. I actually stim like this and I have done this since I was around eight years old. It's actually one of my favorite ways to stim and it always has been. But thank you for sharing this with me.


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enz
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15 Mar 2023, 4:37 pm

Ju jitsu could help you remain confident in stressful situations plus its effective self defense. The club should be super supportive and maybe you could tell the instructor a bit about your situation



Mona Pereth
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16 Mar 2023, 10:48 pm

skibum wrote:
There are no changes that I can make in my life, other than being completely socially isolated, that will protect me from social predators.

I'm very sorry to hear about what has been happening to you.

Is there any possibility that you could build up a network of autistic friends in your local area and agree to go out on errands together whenever feasible? Seems to me that people might be less likely to harass you if you are not alone.


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Last edited by Mona Pereth on 17 Mar 2023, 12:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

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16 Mar 2023, 10:59 pm

skibum wrote:
I watched the video. It's very good. I have been doing that instinctively since I was a little kid. I actually stim like this and I have done this since I was around eight years old. It's actually one of my favorite ways to stim and it always has been. But thank you for sharing this with me.


I thought it might be up your street but didn't think you were already doing it, nice!, sorry I couldn't offer anything useful.


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autisticelders
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17 Mar 2023, 7:22 am

from what you are describing, it sounds like you believe you have no escape and no alternatives . I attempted suicide years ago because I was trying to escape my emotional pain and could find no other way. My autistic rigid thinking kept me from seeing I could make many different choices in every single circumstance where I had been bullied, mistreated, manipulated, abused, etc. I found a counselor who was able to teach me how to be assertive in healthy ways. Early childhood trauma and being trained to be obedient "no matter what" was asked of me or by whom, led to my staying a passive victim when I did not have to. I learned how to speak up for myself, how to set boundaries and keep them, how to make healthier choices besides the "appeasement/fawning" behavior I had learned as a child. I began to practice the techniques I learned and my life gradually got better the more I practiced. I never did anything so emotionally scary in my life as that therapy was, but it saved my life and my sanity. I strongly advise anybody with suicidal thoughts to consider learning ways to make healthy choices and learning to communicate in healthy self assertive ways. Getting counseling and learning to be self assertive and make healthier choices saved my life and sanity long before I ever got my autism diagnosis. Nothing has ever helped me so much, it was worth it!


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skibum
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17 Mar 2023, 11:31 am

autisticelders wrote:
from what you are describing, it sounds like you believe you have no escape and no alternatives . I attempted suicide years ago because I was trying to escape my emotional pain and could find no other way. My autistic rigid thinking kept me from seeing I could make many different choices in every single circumstance where I had been bullied, mistreated, manipulated, abused, etc. I found a counselor who was able to teach me how to be assertive in healthy ways. Early childhood trauma and being trained to be obedient "no matter what" was asked of me or by whom, led to my staying a passive victim when I did not have to. I learned how to speak up for myself, how to set boundaries and keep them, how to make healthier choices besides the "appeasement/fawning" behavior I had learned as a child. I began to practice the techniques I learned and my life gradually got better the more I practiced. I never did anything so emotionally scary in my life as that therapy was, but it saved my life and my sanity. I strongly advise anybody with suicidal thoughts to consider learning ways to make healthy choices and learning to communicate in healthy self assertive ways. Getting counseling and learning to be self assertive and make healthier choices saved my life and sanity long before I ever got my autism diagnosis. Nothing has ever helped me so much, it was worth it!
Thank you. I appreciate what you have shared. I am very happy that this has helped you. I have three counselors and the situation that I am in cannot be resolved by me changing my thinking and communication style. It is important for people to understand that there are actually some situations in which people are actual victims and cannot get out of a situation. I don't have a victim mentality, the situation is actually very real and there is nothing that I can do about it.


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Wreck It Ralph