Feel like other people have more time to have kids than me?

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chris1989
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17 Feb 2024, 11:05 am

I seem to feel as though 20 year olds have all the time in the world to think about having kids but 30 year olds haven't. I worry about it because I may not want them right but that I might change my mind maybe 10 years from and that to do it then is not worth considering by then because the 20s and early 30s seem like the "ideal" time of life to do it and not any later. That's why I'm feeling this self imposed pressure because my peers of that age are doing it now and yet I'm not with anyone to make those decisions with.



Rossall
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17 Feb 2024, 11:08 am

You're too hard on yourself mate. I'm 52 and haven't had any kids yet but don't beat myself up over it. (although I do beat myself up over the many mistakes I've made in my life).


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chris1989
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17 Feb 2024, 11:30 am

Rossall wrote:
You're too hard on yourself mate. I'm 52 and haven't had any kids yet but don't beat myself up over it. (although I do beat myself up over the many mistakes I've made in my life).


I keep being told there are more older people having kids than ever before and for some reason that doesn't reassure me or ease those ridiculous thoughts of rushing it. I seem to think there is still a stigma of older people having kids and shaming them for leaving it "late" but what if those people were struggling to find the right person or had been struggling to maintain a long term relationship to have kids with and that it wasn't until later that things got better. What do they know when they make those judgements ?



Rossall
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17 Feb 2024, 12:05 pm

I wouldn't want to have kids with any woman I've gone to bed with. You'll know if you meet the right person for you.


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Mountain Goat
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17 Feb 2024, 2:58 pm

Rossall wrote:
I wouldn't want to have kids with any woman I've gone to bed with. You'll know if you meet the right person for you.


Wize thing to say. I am waiting to meet the right person. Not sure who the right person is.
On the one hand I was told "There is plenty of time", and on the other hand there is not...
But do not rush things.
If I am not mixing you up with Jamesy as I "Group" both of you together in my mind, you do meet a whole lot more womsn than I do. I tend to shy away from meeting people other than if I walk through one of the towns or villages, and other than smiling as I pass, I don't often enter into conversations, so unless something unusual happens such as a miracle,, my chances are not as great (If I think of it in a numerical way). You do go out to clubs and things (Hope I am not mixing you two up as one of you does!) This in itself gives you a better chance to talk to people. I hope this re-assures you.


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