Over the past few weeks I have had meltdown after meltdown after meltdown. And each one was worse then the one before. I have been having meltdowns my whole life. Mostly they just are me throwing a pillow and yelling really loud then collapsing and crying until the pain inside went away. But these were different and it really scares me. The first one I got really angry and I started to punch and kick walls and I snapped into this state where I almost was demonic. I for sure sounded demonic. The next one I had maybe a few days later was worse, I through things, punched and kicked walls, yelled again very demonic like, and even ripped the shirt I was wearing in half. And finally the third one I had just recently which include such behaviors as, throwing things, punching and kicking walls, yelling demonic like, and I smashed my head into a brick wall until it bled and I had a concussion. I have in the past had problems with self harm but it was just cutting and I have great control over that now, but these were different I didn't want to hurt myself, I hardly even had control over myself, things just happened. I live in fear each day hoping that I don't have another one and if I do I pray that it wont be worse. I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning because of it, and even a harder time doing anything because who knows what will set off the next one. PLEASE HELP any advise, I HATE THIS!! !! !! !! ! 