HUGE MELTDOWNS=VERY SCARY

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Over the past few weeks I have had meltdown after meltdown after meltdown. And each one was worse then the one before. I have been having meltdowns my whole life. Mostly they just are me throwing a pillow and yelling really loud then collapsing and crying until the pain inside went away. But these were different and it really scares me. The first one I got really angry and I started to punch and kick walls and I snapped into this state where I almost was demonic. I for sure sounded demonic. The next one I had maybe a few days later was worse, I through things, punched and kicked walls, yelled again very demonic like, and even ripped the shirt I was wearing in half. And finally the third one I had just recently which include such behaviors as, throwing things, punching and kicking walls, yelling demonic like, and I smashed my head into a brick wall until it bled and I had a concussion. I have in the past had problems with self harm but it was just cutting and I have great control over that now, but these were different I didn't want to hurt myself, I hardly even had control over myself, things just happened. I live in fear each day hoping that I don't have another one and if I do I pray that it wont be worse. I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning because of it, and even a harder time doing anything because who knows what will set off the next one. PLEASE HELP any advise, I HATE THIS!! !! !! !! !

For starters, what's been bothering you lately?

So many things, I don't know what I want to do with my life school/career wise. I would have to say thats the biggest thing. Then just smaller stupid things that build up each day. Like people being rude or ignoring me. The weather is really a downer for me, and the weather sucks. I don't know there are just a lot of things. I cant escape any of them, and dealing with them tiers me out physically and mentally. Plus I think my medication is all messed up and I wont even be home to fix it until spring break. UGH

Some psychiatric medications such as seratonin reuptake inhibitors can have side effects which include homicidal and suicidal ideation and aggression. If these demonic like symptoms started when taking the medication you might want to talk to your doctor as it could be an averse reaction to the drug. Other than that it sounds like your stressed. Take some time and relax i'd say.

I don't your exact situation, but I know in my case sometimes changes in medication helped tremendously. As well as finding some "way out" to be alone during the worst of the meltdown. I need an escape route.

I am melting, melting! Oh, what a world, what a world! topic

I can empathize with Onelastbreath. I just moved from a place wher I lived for 13 years. I was having meltdowns by the minute, as everything was just too much during the move, which took place over a period of two weeks. My kids were upset as well. Now I am looking for work, and will feel much better when I am working again. It is hard to be a young person in a meldown and not seeing that things are eventually going to work out, even though you cannot always see this.