I hate my mother!!

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OK, while Mum was at work, I was in my room as usual, enjoying setting paper on fire on a ceramic plate (I like watching the flames). I was being really careful, I had water nearby just in case, and I opened the window to let the smoke out and everything. My brother must have been the one who told her.

When she comes back from work, she doesn't even bother to say hello, she just bursts into my room (the fire had burnt out a few hours previously) and says, "Gimme that lighter! You do NOT set fire to things in the house! Why the hell were you setting paper on fire anyway?!" and I said, "Because it's fun," so she says, "Get over yourself!" and a bunch more mean stuff.

What the HELL does that phrase mean?! When she says it, the definition could be anyone's guess. I always thought it's just what you say when some girl is complaining that the rain is messing up her hair or whatever. But Mum says it to me a lot, and she says it in a really mean way as well. Last time she said it was when I used the phrase "neurotypical" instead of "normal" (she is under the impression that I am deliberately showing off by using "big words").

When I asked what she meant, she got even more mad and told me off for answering back.

Back on the subject of the fire, she never minds when my brother tries to make bombs to "attack the emos". And shouldn't she be HAPPY that I have finally got over my almost lifelong phobia of fire? And how stupid does she think I am? I know how to keep a small fire under control.

She is always overreacting about stuff. And she is either saying I'm stupid, or saying I'm showing off. Catch-22.

Just a rant, I guess.

We all get into it with our mothers sometimes, but I think she has a point. Why not light the flames in a safer place such as outdoors on cement or something. I am also sure your mother doesn't try to come across as mean, but maybe the next time she says "get over yourself", you should try and imagine her point of view and really heed the advice she is giving. She is your mom and we all gotta respect our moms.

dont take this as "siding" w your mother or anything, but you gotta be open to compromise.

you CAN survive without setting alight things in your house, so, give your mother that.

its like the thread some time ago, w some guy having his 18th birthday, and refusing to go out w his dad and have a beer, because he was uncomfortable in crowds.
yes, its uncomfortable, but so is the dentist, and so is surgery, if you ever need that. you know?

you dont have to bow down in the dust for her, but compromise a bit. such as, less setting fire to stuff inside the house :]

I realise she may have a point about setting fire to stuff in the house, but she didn't just say that in a calm and respectful manner. That's what I'm upset about.

I would have freaked out too! I can't defend your mother for the mean things she may have said, but nobody wants their house to burn down, or something unexpected to happen and you burned to death. I think it's great that you are careful, and that you are finally over a fire phobia, but you just don't burn things in your room on a plate.

My son would have been in big trouble for that, especially from his brother the fireman. His brother doesn't even like candles. Maybe you can dig a hole in the yard. That might be safer.

Gina, personally I think you were were wrong in this one. In my opinion, this was a safety issue. Your mother was probably in panic mode when she was yelling and being in disrespectful to you. If you're going to do stuff like this Gina it needs to be under controlled labratory conditions.

I am going to define what your mother meant by "Get Over Yourself." It meant that she thought you were being selfish by considering your own needs and wants over the safety of the other members of your household.

dude, your mom is obviously an airhead.

I realise that too, but she never reacts like this when my brother does stuff with fire in the house, and what he does is always a lot more stupid and dangerous than just burning paper. It's like there's one rule for me, another for him.

Also, she can't have been panicking, because I'd only been burning paper earlier, when she was at work, and my brother had told her about it, so obviously the house hadn't been burned down by that time.

Your definition of the phrase would make sense in this instance, but it still doesn't really explain what she means when she says it in other circumstances, like when I was using big words and she accused me of showing off.

all parents treat their kids differently, dont take it personally. theres an age difference, and there's personality difference.
my mother always did collective punishment, and i never did anything wrong. really, i was a very obedient and silent little boy.
imagine how fun that was
my hyperactive brother smashing stuff up, and i got a 50% share of all the yell-outs.

but if _I_ actually did something wrong, she was so surprised by it, that somethimes she just had to laugh. mrr

You have some serious growing up to do. You're very immature.

You lighting things on fire reminded me of Joon in Benny & Joon.

My little brother lit things on fire too and my dad called him a piro as a joke.

Lighting things on fire in the house is very dangerous and your mother doesn't want the whole place to burn down. I wouldn't want my own child lighting things on fire either even if he or she had water nearby. I have all these what ifs in me. What if the fire was too big to put out? What if it left big damage?


What did you mean by your brother trying to make bombs? You couldn't possibly mean real bombs.

Gina, I can explain. To NTs, using big words is a sign of being condescending to them. To them, it comes across as you're trying to sound superior. Basically your mother thought by you using big words you were trying to come across as superior and sound smug to her. Since she is an authority figure she probably thought you were trying to upsurp her authority.

Another thing, is she may not know what your words mean and if you use a word that most NTs do not use in everyday speak, they consider that rude.

Me too, I'm 18 and I love Phineas and Ferb and Spongebob Squarepants and I do not have a job or go to college.

Yeah, i like to watch fire too, im not a maniac with it, but i do like to watch it. Parents + fire = Serious Freak out ! I really dont see what is so bad about it, hell i know more about it then they do, but of course because they have a nice label called parents there right Im starting to get really angry at this whole label thing, by the way water is not the only thing to put out fires, infact if the fire is started with certain liquids that are lighter than the water, it will increase the flames.

Even at the age of 25, I think I understand how you feel.

I used to get really, really angry whenever people told me, "You do it to yourself." Now I just calmly reply, "Scapegoat fallacy," "Fallacy of the single cause," or "Fallacy of shifting the motive." Heck, I have a good number of the fallacies memorized already (which I put to good use on the Politics, Philosophy, and Religion forum very recently ).

It's like they're wearing boxing gloves with their little catch phrases written on them, and they don't even require any thinking to get their point across. Rest assured I'm not one of those people who would tell you that.

I wish I could use those phrases, but "fallacy" is probably an intellectual enough word that it would just get me called a wise-ass. It's like Mum actually WANTS me to be a moron like everyone else. She thinks I put too much effort into sounding smart instead of, well, whatever it is she'd rather I was doing. Which is an invalid argument, because I don't put EFFORT into using "big words", it just happens.