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My bear always knows. Tea seems to help.


Do I finish the last few chapters tonight? Or drink whiskey?

I have whiskey down (toasted rye bread) for breakfast sometimes.

Will the Wave of the Future be a Tsunami?

Only if I fall in the sea.

Are doorhandles useful?

Not when you're afraid of The Doors.

Will I look back one day and laugh?

Probably.

Do you look forward, and laugh?

No.
I go backwards, bend backwards then crab-walk into a manhole head first and find enlightenment.


How should you recommend trampolines?

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Industrial strength version recommended for people scared of heights.

How do you wake a cat?

Make fart noises with your arms.

If that fails, meditate.
And then connect to the cat's mind and telepathically tell the cat to wake up.



What's the simplest instructions to make a pancake?

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Get a fat person to sit on it.

Is your pet startled right now?

Yes. My house plant and rock pet are.


How to charge a human?

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Put them in the oven and set the timer for ninety minutes.

Who are you calling fluffy?

The sparkling live wire hanging on the electrical post.


How to freeze?

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This is why arid deserts are so dangerous.

Do lemmings get counselling for their desire to jump off high places?

Freezing is fundamentally impossible, it as would require breaking the Law of Historical Monument Conservation.

Who are your guys?

On the end of my feet wiggling at me.

At what point in a meeting to you commence doodling?

When I get bored with playing guitar, singing and frying pancakes.

Where do mole rats live?