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nihilist_void
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14 Jun 2006, 2:19 pm

I have this tendency to cry alot when things get overwhelming. I'm incredibly ashamed of it cuz it makes me look weak and girlish. Only problem is when I was younger I was never taught not to cry as a male because of the stigma behind it. Any other guys guilty of this?



jolger
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14 Jun 2006, 2:23 pm

Well yes i AM guilty of it... BUT i dont think males "shuldn't" cry... Sometimes it's just good TO cry... Dont know how to explain it but being "emotional" isn't "wrong"... I cried a lot when i was younger and yes i still cry a lot if things just are too overwhelming but i don't think that crying as a male is bad or anything... If you ask me it just proves that there actually IS some emotion in you...


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14 Jun 2006, 3:06 pm

I can definitely understand your viewpoint, but I respectfully disagree. I cry when I'm feeling a lot of hurt, sadness or whatever I need to feel. I see crying as a natural process of healing.

I am not certain (I am sure someone will correct me on this, and please do!), but I believe that experts say that we cry when we feel any intense emotion. This is why we we have 'happy tears' or whatever you would like to call it.

I also see crying as getting in touch with your emotions, which makes you a compassinate, feeling person! :)



lowfreq50
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14 Jun 2006, 4:02 pm

stop crying plz thx



stuckinthedesert
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14 Jun 2006, 4:25 pm

I think its ok to cry. I think there is a time and place for everything though. It seems that it is considered inappropriate for males to cry in public but ok in private. That’s the way I have always understood it.

My advice is to do what ever makes you feel better and don't care what anyone else thinks and if that’s a huge problem then just delay it till you can be in private.

I had the same problem when I was younger. I don't have that problem now mainly because when I look at the problem or problems that made me want to cry I don't see how crying will help so instead I look for solutions to the problems. Plus the male bravado drilled into most guys heads sense they can walk pretty much eliminated the ability to cry in public.

On second thought maybe you should not listen to me I am not the best person to be giving any advice. Just Ignore everything that comes from my mouth it seems to work for everyone else.
:lol:


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CockneyRebel
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14 Jun 2006, 4:42 pm

I find Emotional Males very sexy.



Fiz
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14 Jun 2006, 5:18 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I find Emotional Males very sexy.


So do I because they actually admit they they have them as opposed to concentrating on 'being a man' i.e. being an as*hole. I find that when a man cries, its kinda heartbreaking because men don't cry for no reason. Women will cry at bloody anything but men do it for a genuine reason and I want to reach out to men who cry. Its not wimpy or girlish, its merely being honest about your feelings in a round about way and it is better to release some emotion than keep it bottled up. Why should men have to do that? Cos women certainly don't.


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nihilist_void
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14 Jun 2006, 6:46 pm

reason this is such a big deal to me is because I'm Asian and in the Asian culture if you're male and you cry then its considered disgraceful. I'm always ostracized for it. Yesterday there was a misunderstanding between me and the girl I am head over heals for (first relationship) and when I was under the impression she was leaving me, I started crying very heavily. When she called she already knew I had been crying and after we got done talking she told me how embarrassing it is to hear me cry.

I hated myself for it, especially since it was over a girl.



ethamin
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14 Jun 2006, 7:36 pm

The last time i cried someone gave me a bloody nose. Thankfully my dog grabbed him and he began to cry. If you have to cry, cry because you have a reason. Otherwise... what is the point of it! My mother says it is really unattractive, not just for boys but also for girls. I think that it is there and so it has to have a function. If you feel better afterwards... good for you. If you feel worse, than i think it is better to show a stiff upper lip and be proud of the fact that someone did not see your hurt. That is my problem, i always hide my pain. Who knows what is better.



synx13
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14 Jun 2006, 10:53 pm

I wish I could cry. :( I used to cry a lot, but the pain got so bad that I just ran out of tears. I don't think it was a "male" thing though, more the sorry, sick state of the universe we're trapped in.



gsilver
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15 Jun 2006, 12:18 pm

I have recently regained the ability to cry, and I consider it a major acomplishment.



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15 Jun 2006, 2:33 pm

nihilist_void wrote:
I have this tendency to cry alot when things get overwhelming. I'm incredibly ashamed of it cuz it makes me look weak and girlish. Only problem is when I was younger I was never taught not to cry as a male because of the stigma behind it. Any other guys guilty of this?


I'm the opposite. I used to be overly emotional as a kid and was bullied as a result. This made me numb. I have'nt shed a tear in almost a decade now.


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Mork
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15 Jun 2006, 3:24 pm

I cried when I found out about AS. I also get emotional when watching movies.

I don't feel ashamed of it - I am like I am



Fiz
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15 Jun 2006, 3:46 pm

nihilist_void wrote:
reason this is such a big deal to me is because I'm Asian and in the Asian culture if you're male and you cry then its considered disgraceful. I'm always ostracized for it. Yesterday there was a misunderstanding between me and the girl I am head over heals for (first relationship) and when I was under the impression she was leaving me, I started crying very heavily. When she called she already knew I had been crying and after we got done talking she told me how embarrassing it is to hear me cry.

I hated myself for it, especially since it was over a girl.


In my mind, crying heavily when you think you are going to lose someone you have deep feelings for is a very natural reaction (for most, but I won't condemn those who don't) and it is absolutley nothing to be ashamed of. Its obviously natural for you and if this is how you feel you should not bottle it up, it will do you more harm than good in the long run. And as for your girlfriend, I think she may only be embarrassed to hear you cry because, when a man cries, it is usually over something very major and men don't cry very often. So when it does happen, some people don't know how to deal with it and I think this may have been the case with your girlfriend, I don't think she thinks badly of you for it.


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15 Jun 2006, 4:12 pm

I cried before over a girl. Even then she wanted me not to cry because she didn't know how to react to it. I cry all the time but now these days sometimes I kind of been bored that I've been crying inside. It is lonely being isolated.


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