To apologize OR NOT apologize THAT IS THE QUESTION?! !

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DaWalker
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30 Apr 2010, 5:11 am

So....How is that letter going?

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Janissy
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30 Apr 2010, 7:15 am

I don't think you should write a letter of apology or attempt to communicate with the Psych professor in any way beyond what is absolutely necessary for class (if you are in her class).

Unfortunately, I think a letter would have the opposite effect of what is intended. You overstepped the student/teacher boundary before. She needs to feel secure that this will never happen again. An apology letter, no matter how sincere and heartfelt, will do just the opposite because it will show her that she still looms large in your mind. What she needs from you is literally nothing. She needs to feel (even if it isn't true) that you no longer think about her at all, that you have largely forgotten about her. A letter will show her that you are still thinking about her and that will make her feel nervous, not assured.

Don't write the letter. Make no contact at all. Make her think that you have forgotten about her. And then forget about her. You owe her that much.



jennyishere
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30 Apr 2010, 8:03 am

Hi again, Zeldapsychology. I must admit, I agree with Janissy. A letter could stir up trouble all over again, especially if you originally made threats against this person. If you absolutely insist on writing a letter, get legal advice before sending it- you REALLY don't want to risk being charged with stalking or harassment. Even if the professor is a kind person, she may not feel comfortable or safe about hearing from you again. Please be careful- don't put your future at risk, okay? Jenny



zeldapsychology
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30 Apr 2010, 12:43 pm

Janissy wrote:
I don't think you should write a letter of apology or attempt to communicate with the Psych professor in any way beyond what is absolutely necessary for class (if you are in her class).

Unfortunately, I think a letter would have the opposite effect of what is intended. You overstepped the student/teacher boundary before. She needs to feel secure that this will never happen again. An apology letter, no matter how sincere and heartfelt, will do just the opposite because it will show her that she still looms large in your mind. What she needs from you is literally nothing. She needs to feel (even if it isn't true) that you no longer think about her at all, that you have largely forgotten about her. A letter will show her that you are still thinking about her and that will make her feel nervous, not assured.

Don't write the letter. Make no contact at all. Make her think that you have forgotten about her. And then forget about her. You owe her that much.


Thanks but sadly Janissy I've thought of how I'd apologize what I'd say to her for over 5 years now! It's TORCHER! LOL! As I mention in another topic of mine the ONE DAY free from thinking on all this issue is when I had a surgery!! (Anastestia/pain pills etc.) Thankfully I CHOOSE NOT to get addicted to narcotics so no worry there. :-) Thanks for your concern but I have no idea how I'd show I'm NOT thinking of her/apologizing to her when it's the complete opposite!! LOL!



CockneyRebel
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30 Apr 2010, 1:21 pm

I hope that things go well, for you. :)


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