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sylvr
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27 May 2010, 8:20 am

It's hard to live in someone else's house for an extended period of time.

My job (live-in nanny) has been pretty great so far, I mean we all have our bad days, but on the whole it's been a positive experience. But this week has had a few happenings that really frustrated/confused me and I don't know at all what I should be feeling/doing/thinking.

#1) I still manage to get to my community concert band practices. For some unknown reason, at the end of the band practice, my section leader (who is old enough to be my grandfather) decided it would be an appropriate gesture to pat me on the head after I asked him a question. He might have even done it more than once on that day for something else I said, but I forget. Definitely happened at least once. So I'm thinking that I apparently come across as a small child? :?

#2) My employers (who I know from my church) had a friend and her kids stay the night. I know the friend and her kids, that wasn't so much the issue. The issue is that she used my bath stuff without asking. Not just shampoo and body wash, but my body-scrubby thing too! It would have been one thing to at least tell me "Hey Christine, I forgot shower stuff for myself. Could I please borrow yours?" I wouldn't have had so much of an issue with that. What would have entered her mind to think that it's simply okay to do that. ...and who uses someone else's personal body-scrubby-thingy anyway? Now I probably should get a new one; who knows where it's been. Oh yeah, she showered twice with my stuff. :(

#3) My employers have also told me that I could bring whatever food I want for myself, store it at their house, and it will be mine. No one else will touch it. Lately I find my food being eaten. Blatantly even, when P told me "I took one of your vanilla yogurts for the pancakes. Is that okay? I hope it is, it's too late now hahaha!" 8O Also she's told her husband "Those yogurts in the box are C's, but I'm sure she won't mind if you have one..." Um yeah, I probably would. Since you have your own yogurt....

So what's with all this? Am I actually over-reacting? I don't think I am, personally. It upsets me greatly that I don't feel respected sometimes, not just as a person, but as an adult too. Should I say something? Leave it be?

:help:


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Spazzergasm
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27 May 2010, 2:36 pm

sylvr wrote:
It's hard to live in someone else's house for an extended period of time.

My job (live-in nanny) has been pretty great so far, I mean we all have our bad days, but on the whole it's been a positive experience. But this week has had a few happenings that really frustrated/confused me and I don't know at all what I should be feeling/doing/thinking.

#1) I still manage to get to my community concert band practices. For some unknown reason, at the end of the band practice, my section leader (who is old enough to be my grandfather) decided it would be an appropriate gesture to pat me on the head after I asked him a question. He might have even done it more than once on that day for something else I said, but I forget. Definitely happened at least once. So I'm thinking that I apparently come across as a small child? :?

#2) My employers (who I know from my church) had a friend and her kids stay the night. I know the friend and her kids, that wasn't so much the issue. The issue is that she used my bath stuff without asking. Not just shampoo and body wash, but my body-scrubby thing too! It would have been one thing to at least tell me "Hey Christine, I forgot shower stuff for myself. Could I please borrow yours?" I wouldn't have had so much of an issue with that. What would have entered her mind to think that it's simply okay to do that. ...and who uses someone else's personal body-scrubby-thingy anyway? Now I probably should get a new one; who knows where it's been. Oh yeah, she showered twice with my stuff. :(

#3) My employers have also told me that I could bring whatever food I want for myself, store it at their house, and it will be mine. No one else will touch it. Lately I find my food being eaten. Blatantly even, when P told me "I took one of your vanilla yogurts for the pancakes. Is that okay? I hope it is, it's too late now hahaha!" 8O Also she's told her husband "Those yogurts in the box are C's, but I'm sure she won't mind if you have one..." Um yeah, I probably would. Since you have your own yogurt....

So what's with all this? Am I actually over-reacting? I don't think I am, personally. It upsets me greatly that I don't feel respected sometimes, not just as a person, but as an adult too. Should I say something? Leave it be?

:help:


"I took one of your vanilla yogurts for the pancakes. Is that okay? I hope it is, it's too late now hahaha!"
SO rude.

The body scrubby thing is disgusting.

the head patting may be rude. i'd have to see how he behaves to others.



sylvr
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28 May 2010, 8:15 am

Yeah, I thiiiiink she was trying to be funny about the yogurt thing. (Sometimes we joke around so that must have been where she thought it was okay. :?) I have had no other issues with her; in fact I had the chance to tell her about use of my bath-things. She agreed with me, it's all kinda gross. We agreed that she must have thought P set them out for her to use, even though they don't even look like a set of toiletries bought for guests. I am glad I was able to tell her about that.

I am still not sure how to take the headpatting. My sister suggested he was just joking, but I don't see him patting anyone else. And I'm not the youngest in the section (though I am the youngest female; the two other women are middle-aged)... Perhaps I should get used to the fact that I will always be the 'baby' of the trumpet section; the teenage boys (who are obviously younger than I) are probably more mature... :roll:

I probably wouldn't have been so frustrated at all of this had these things not all happened over the space of 2 days :lol:

Thanks for your perspective :)


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You look sensational in that dress!
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Vanilla_Slice
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28 May 2010, 10:58 am

Head patting. Look him straight in the eye and tell him "do that again and you'll be wearing your ass as a hat".

Body scrub. Yuch!

The food. Well, if it's OK for them to pinch your food then do the same to them. The first time you announce "I ate all the sausages and bacon last night, I hope that it was OK" you'll find that your yogurts are safe.

Vanilla_Slice



sylvr
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28 May 2010, 11:02 am

8O I don't need to make any enemies.. What if I pat him back on the head? Though that probably is not a good strategy.

And me eating their food is what I am supposed to do anyway. I "am welcome to anything in our pantry or fridge" so that wouldn't do much.

...which reminds me that I need to make myself some lunch now... :mrgreen:


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You look sensational in that dress!
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Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 62 of 200
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CockneyRebel
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28 May 2010, 11:32 pm

I'd keep a low profile and play it cool, if I was in that situation.


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