Make an extremely dark joke.

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Bobby Riggs was 55.

This joke made me a little darker ^

Meghan Markle asked the Queen what the secret to long life was , she said 'Wear a seat belt and don't piss me off!'

St. Peter meets Mother Teresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, "You were a good woman. I'm giving you a nice halo." Mother Teresa is walking around Heaven when she sees Princess Di, and the Princess has a much bigger halo. Mother Teresa goes back to St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, I spent most of my adult life helping the poor and the sickly. Princess Di did nowhere near the amount of charitable work I did. Why does she have a bigger halo?" St. Peter says, "That's not a halo. That's a steering wheel."

Prince Charles was out walking his dog a week after the death of his wife. When a passer-by said "Morning," Prince Charles said "No, just walking the dog."

Ever since Edward the VIII married an American woman everybody's gotta have one.

Why didn’t Superman stop the planes from hitting the Trade Towers? Because he was a quadriplegic!

Whats the difference between a cow and 9/11? Americans cant milk a cow for 17 years.

We warmed it up for you. It's the best seat in the house!

A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that an Aspie was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the Aspie that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the Aspie's house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.

The Aspie replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.

Ha! That really is awful.

Not really a dark joke, just a little self-deprecating humor from Denis Istomin answering the question of an Australian journalist:

The Australian journalist asked Denis if he had eleven toes, to which Denis replied, "No. I wear size thirteen shoes, so you can say I have thirteen toes."

What did Denis Istomin take when he felt run down?

The license plate number of the Uzbek truck driver who slammed into the car he was in on the way to a tournament in Tashkent!

(Denis would be horrified that I'm telling these jokes!)

"I told my wife that I wanted to be cremated."
She made me an appointment for next Thursday."

They laughed at my crayon drawings.
I laughed at their chalk outlines.

Last edited by Fnord on 19 Dec 2018, 10:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

Laugh and the class laughs with you...but you serve detention alone.

A man is being examined by a proctologist.

Doctor: "Ah, I see the problem. It's closed over. I'll have to tear you a new one."

Grampa Simpson is on his rocking chair.

Marge comes to him asks him to croak, to which Grampa says "No".

Lisa comes to him asks him to croak, to which Grampa responds with a "No".

Bart then comes along and asks him to croak, to which Grampa replies, "Why do you all keep asking me to croak?"

Bart replies, "Because Dad says if you do, then he can afford to take us all to Disneyland."

Those are Kinder Joy Eggs. instead of an actual chocolate egg one half is chocolate and some soft white chocolate stuff with crunchy things that you eat with a tiny spoon. The other half contains the toy. We have both kinds of Kinder Eggs here in Canada. I found the Joy version to be actually decent.