Make an extremely dark joke.

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I don't think this gallow humour is appropriate , when I went to the library and asked for a book on how to hang yourself , the librarian told me to get knotted as I wouldn't bring it back

SaveFerris:

I've heard that one with Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles, too.

Not related, but also having to do with tennis:

Why is a relationship with a tennis player doomed to failure?

Because in tennis, love means nothing.

Yeah , I copied that joke and was about to post it but re-read it and thought as I said it was dark humour and the joke contained two black men it might of been seen as racist so I changed it.

I was going to tell a joke about a frog in a blender but decided animal cruelty was *too* dark, and now I'm photos of *real* animals frozen and dead.

Googling for "Dark Comedy" led me to This Wikipedia Article:
So you see that opening a thread devoted to "Extremely Dark Jokes" lets in a lot of topics that would otherwise not be covered. I applaud those who have posted so far for showing as much restraint as they have, since covering every aspect of Dark Humor would likely get everyone in this thread banned and the entire thread consigned to oblivion.

SaveFerris,

Yes, that's true. It could be construed that way. Obviously, somebody completely without sight couldn't play tennis, but there are some players who wear glasses due to low vision (Denis Istomin being one of them. Janko Tipsarevic and Hyeun Chung are two more players who wear glasses).

I was reluctant to post those jokes about Denis because I really like and admire him. The one about the size 13 shoes, however, was something he actually said, a little bit of self-deprecating humor. That's why I included it in this post.

It's so cold in Uzbekistan during the winter that Islam Karimov was often spotted with his hands in his own pockets.

(Karimov was a notorious kleptocrat).

How did you know that Karimov liked somebody?

When he boiled them in oil, he put them in feet first, instead of head first. (Similar to Sadaam Hussein, who put his enemies in a woodchipper).

Whats grey, square, sits and the end of your bed and takes the piss?

kidney dialysis machine

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins.
I was about to run straight home to tell my spouse about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.


Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.


My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

*choking on my cup of tea*

Women couldn’t vote 100 years ago.

^ that's unlike you Buc - to post something positive about women

Women banned alcohol for 11 years. Now they drive school buses wasted.

What would it take to reunite the Tsarnev brothers?

One more bullet.