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Fnord
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18 Dec 2018, 11:17 am

Q: "Hey Charlie, why are you such a gun nut?"
A: "I enjoy living in a world with only 4 Nirvana albums."



TW1ZTY
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18 Dec 2018, 11:21 am

Marie Antoinette should have let the French people eat ice cream too.


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Fnord
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18 Dec 2018, 11:31 am

Ah, yes ... cremation ... my one hope to finally have a smoking-hot body!



Arganger
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18 Dec 2018, 11:47 am

Fnord wrote:
Ah, yes ... cremation ... my one hope to finally have a smoking-hot body!


Speaking of smoking-hot bodies, ever heard of Joan of Ark?


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TW1ZTY
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18 Dec 2018, 11:52 am

Arganger wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Ah, yes ... cremation ... my one hope to finally have a smoking-hot body!


Speaking of smoking-hot bodies, ever heard of Joan of Ark?

That guuurl was on fire! :mrgreen:


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Skilpadde
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18 Dec 2018, 2:05 pm

What does a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They're both thinking: "Oh crap, my mom's gonna kill me!"



Knock, knock
Who's there?
9/11
9/11 who?
You said you would never forget :(



....and remember.... there's always light at the end of the tunnel...
unless you're Princess Diana



Have you ever loved someone so much that you wanted to keep them from the world and have them all to yourself?

Well, apparently that's called kidnapping.


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Wolfram87
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18 Dec 2018, 2:43 pm

TW1ZTY wrote:
If a prostitute gets raped is that considered shoplifting? :P


I think the legal difference between shoplifting and theft is just a preset limit of value, so I guess that depends on how cheap a prostitute we're talking...now there's a lead in for a "yo momma"-joke if ever there was one...


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TW1ZTY
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18 Dec 2018, 3:01 pm

Wolfram87 wrote:
TW1ZTY wrote:
If a prostitute gets raped is that considered shoplifting? :P


I think the legal difference between shoplifting and theft is just a preset limit of value, so I guess that depends on how cheap a prostitute we're talking...now there's a lead in for a "yo momma"-joke if ever there was one...


That's true now that you mention it. :)

If a zombie or a cannibal eats a Chinese person, do they get hungry an hour later?


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Fnord
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18 Dec 2018, 3:13 pm

Q: What did Ludwig von Beethoven do after he died?
A: Decomposed.



TW1ZTY
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18 Dec 2018, 3:37 pm

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal says to the other "Does this taste funny?"


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Skilpadde
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18 Dec 2018, 4:35 pm

What do Toys R Us and anti-vaxxers have in common?
Neither want kids to grow up



Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs.
"Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!"
"Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."



Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together
but only one of them knows about it


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TW1ZTY
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18 Dec 2018, 4:39 pm

Skilpadde wrote:
What do Toys R Us and anti-vaxxers have in common?
Neither want kids to grow up



Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs.
"Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!"
"Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."



Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together
but only one of them knows about it


I live in the US and I saw some in Walmart just the other day. :)

Image


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Skilpadde
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18 Dec 2018, 4:45 pm

^ Yay! Kinder eggs are really tasty! :)


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http://turtleforum.freeforums.org/index.php

Wolves - second only to turtles <3


ON A BREAK!


TW1ZTY
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18 Dec 2018, 4:51 pm

Skilpadde wrote:
^ Yay! Kinder eggs are really tasty! :)

I bet they are! :mrgreen: I don't get to eat candy that often anymore though. :(

They sound kind of like Wonder Balls. Chocolate balls that used to contain little plastic toys but then they changed the prizes to little hard candies and stickers because of choking hazards. I think they don't sell them anymore though but I could be wrong?


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18 Dec 2018, 5:49 pm

Why do women fake orgasms?

Answer: Because they think men care.


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