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lostonearth35
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19 Dec 2018, 11:16 am

TW1ZTY wrote:
Skilpadde wrote:
What do Toys R Us and anti-vaxxers have in common?
Neither want kids to grow up



Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs.
"Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!"
"Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."



Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together
but only one of them knows about it


I live in the US and I saw some in Walmart just the other day. :)

Image


Those are Kinder Joy Eggs. instead of an actual chocolate egg one half is chocolate and some soft white chocolate stuff with crunchy things that you eat with a tiny spoon. The other half contains the toy. We have both kinds of Kinder Eggs here in Canada. I found the Joy version to be actually decent.



TW1ZTY
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19 Dec 2018, 11:36 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
TW1ZTY wrote:
Skilpadde wrote:
What do Toys R Us and anti-vaxxers have in common?
Neither want kids to grow up



Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs.
"Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!"
"Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."



Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together
but only one of them knows about it


I live in the US and I saw some in Walmart just the other day. :)

Image


Those are Kinder Joy Eggs. instead of an actual chocolate egg one half is chocolate and some soft white chocolate stuff with crunchy things that you eat with a tiny spoon. The other half contains the toy. We have both kinds of Kinder Eggs here in Canada. I found the Joy version to be actually decent.


I should try these one day. :D


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IstominFan
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20 Dec 2018, 7:49 am

They look good!



Piobaire
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20 Dec 2018, 7:57 am

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Skilpadde
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20 Dec 2018, 10:12 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
TW1ZTY wrote:
Skilpadde wrote:
What do Toys R Us and anti-vaxxers have in common?
Neither want kids to grow up



Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs.
"Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!"
"Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."



Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together
but only one of them knows about it


I live in the US and I saw some in Walmart just the other day. :)

Image


Those are Kinder Joy Eggs. instead of an actual chocolate egg one half is chocolate and some soft white chocolate stuff with crunchy things that you eat with a tiny spoon. The other half contains the toy. We have both kinds of Kinder Eggs here in Canada. I found the Joy version to be actually decent.
Wow, I thought they were the huge Christmas/ Easter variants of Kinder Eggs. Good job spotting that, lostonearth35! :wtg:

TW1ZTY, I'd never heard of Wonder Balls, had to google them. It seems they still exist.


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Skilpadde
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20 Dec 2018, 10:14 am

SaveFerris wrote:
Skilpadde wrote:
....and remember.... there's always light at the end of the tunnel...
unless you're Princess Diana


This joke made me a little darker ^

Meghan Markle asked the Queen what the secret to long life was , she said 'Wear a seat belt and don't piss me off!'

St. Peter meets Mother Teresa at the Gates Of Heaven and says, "You were a good woman. I'm giving you a nice halo." Mother Teresa is walking around Heaven when she sees Princess Di, and the Princess has a much bigger halo. Mother Teresa goes back to St. Peter and says, "St. Peter, I spent most of my adult life helping the poor and the sickly. Princess Di did nowhere near the amount of charitable work I did. Why does she have a bigger halo?" St. Peter says, "That's not a halo. That's a steering wheel."

Prince Charles was out walking his dog a week after the death of his wife. When a passer-by said "Morning," Prince Charles said "No, just walking the dog."
I really like the first one! That. Is. Dark :lol: :twisted:


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SaveFerris
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20 Dec 2018, 10:17 am

I like dark :lol:

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IstominFan
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20 Dec 2018, 10:18 am

Dark, but direct and to the point. The truth is sometimes that way.

Some jokes aren't really funny, because they have that slap in the face of truth.



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20 Dec 2018, 10:18 am

A lady went to the funeral home to pay her last respects to her dear deceased husband. Upon viewing him, she told the funeral director, "Oh, no! He wanted to be buried in his best suit -- it is brown, and you have him in a blue suit!"

The director told her to come back in an hour and the matter would be settled. She came back and told him how wonderful it was that they could accommodate her wishes. Then she asked "How did you do that so fast?"

The director replied, "Oh, we found the brown suit on Henry over there, and we just switched heads".



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20 Dec 2018, 10:20 am

Who are some of the most dangerous people in sports?

A Kenyan or Ethiopian in track shoes
A Spaniard or Serbian with a tennis racquet
A Russian/ex-Soviet physician with the formula for Mildronats (Meldonium)



Fnord
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20 Dec 2018, 10:22 am

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lostonearth35
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20 Dec 2018, 10:22 am

Q: What's black and white, black and white, black and white, and then black and blue?

A: A nun falling down a flight of stairs.



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20 Dec 2018, 10:23 am

The former tennis player who was once one of the greatest servers in the game became a commentator. Now he only gives lip service to the sport.



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20 Dec 2018, 10:26 am

How did Novak Djokovic's opponents scheme to derail his career?

They put gluten in his food. (Novak eats a gluten-free diet due to celiac disease).



TW1ZTY
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20 Dec 2018, 10:26 am

Skilpadde wrote:
lostonearth35 wrote:
TW1ZTY wrote:
Skilpadde wrote:
What do Toys R Us and anti-vaxxers have in common?
Neither want kids to grow up



Whilst in America, my son and I went shopping in Wal-mart. I asked the cashier if they had any Kinder eggs.
"Oh no, sir, we don't sell them in the States - they are a health hazard!"
"Okay," I replied. "I'll just take these two assault rifles then."



Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together
but only one of them knows about it


I live in the US and I saw some in Walmart just the other day. :)

Image


Those are Kinder Joy Eggs. instead of an actual chocolate egg one half is chocolate and some soft white chocolate stuff with crunchy things that you eat with a tiny spoon. The other half contains the toy. We have both kinds of Kinder Eggs here in Canada. I found the Joy version to be actually decent.
Wow, I thought they were the huge Christmas/ Easter variants of Kinder Eggs. Good job spotting that, lostonearth35! :wtg:

TW1ZTY, I'd never heard of Wonder Balls, had to google them. It seems they still exist.


That's cool to know. :)

The funny thing is that I've never tried a wonder ball or kinder egg. We rarely buy candy unless it's on holidays like Easter, Halloween, or Christmas.

I think my favorites are reeses peanut butter cups, butterfingers, lindors, chocolate covered cherries, gummy lifesavers, and jollyranchers.

I tried some chocolates from Europe once (I think either Germany or Sweden?) and I was amazed at how amazing they tasted! They melted in my mouth so fast too. :mrgreen:

My friend from the UK explained that European chocolates are usually much sweeter compared to American chocolates. He thinks ours are kind of bitter. :P


Sorry I can't think of another dark joke to stay on topic. I just wanted to reply to that. :oops:


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