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ASPartOfMe
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19 Feb 2024, 6:38 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
Confused. Transphobic. Phobic is being scared? Scared of being trans? Yes. I can see that as Joe90 wanted us all to know she was a woman. But why is wanting to tell everyone she is a woman an issue?


Transphobia refers to fear or discomfort towards trans people. You're confusing being transphobic with having gender issues.

In this case the transphobia was expressed through abusive and invalidating behaviour towards a poster who was trans.

The terms in common use to describe bigotry are often not literal, so I can see why they confuse autistics.

The definition of phobia is irrational fear. Irrational fear is a subcategory of bigotry yet "Islamaphobia" is used to describe all sorts of prejudice and bigotry against Muslims. A person may have very negative stereotypes about trans people but not be afraid of them but in common usage, they are considered transphobic. Transphobic speech is considered hate speech, but the person using transphobic language might not literally hate transgender people.


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19 Feb 2024, 6:57 am

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
^ Well, let me ask you, because you've jogged a memory and you're an Admin.

Do you still keep in touch with Tallyman? I recall he was an Englishman living in France and was a moderator for quite sometime. He was fairly frank about his suicidal tendencies and postulated he may ultimately take his own life someday. I hope he's still among the living.
Yes indeed, a good WP friend.
He returned as Radish in May 2022 and is currently taking a break from WP.


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ezbzbfcg2
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19 Feb 2024, 7:09 am

^ Thank you.



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19 Feb 2024, 7:48 am

[Replying to a reply about two or three posts above]

This is what confuses me. I don't hate gay people at all but as I am straight, I find some are naturally against me personally because I write according to how I see the world.
Because my memory of vocabularly is limited as my mind does not work so well in the memory of words... I stick to the same group of words and am inventive in how I use them to avoid looking as if I am thick... (I have an above average I.Q.), so I was absolutely hopeless at languages...
But with the many new genders and each group wanting to be called different pronouns my mind just can't do it and I go back to the he or she mode otherwize I don't want to talk incase I get it wrong. I did want to call everyone the same word be they straight or gay when this came in by calling everyone "It" as in my mind I can do that, but people from all sides get offended by that.
The forcing me to try and remember different terms is causing me to abandone trying to converse with some people... Not because I don't like them,,, But because I can never remember what I am supposed to say as I often can't remember peoples names either! My Dad was like that with peoples names! But he wasn't prosopragnosic as well. I tend to get both switching on and off at random. It takes me a while to remember someones name and even then I can lose it in time!!
Of course, there are clever ways round it but this is decietful and I don't do things like that. Example, pretending to need the person to write their name on a card when all I wanted was their name to avoid offending them by asking what their name is! I won't go down those routes because it is deceiptful. I have been caught out using techniques like that to remember who people are because of prosopragnosia moments and the people are offended when they find out!
I tell new people I meet (And my Mum does as well as she has had the same herself) so people won't be offended if I can't remember their names, but theystill get offended regardless as they think I am joking! I had moments many a time when I saw one of my Auntys and somehow in my mind picked up that I knew her from somewhere so I smiled and walked away (As there are many people I have seen before that my mind might somehow pick up that I have seen them, but I do not have a clue where I have seen them from, and some people I may have seen on TV or newspapers, so I can't go up to strangers thinking that I know them as I have done so a few times and it does not work!
My brother used to play tricks on me knowing I would not notice when we were walking dosn the street... He would see someone else walking nearby and he would dissapear leaving this other person walking by the side of me, and I would end up talking to a complete stranger who would have a rather puzzled look on his face, and when I saw this look, I would puzzle why.... And I would look back down the street to see my brother laughing away so much he could hardly stand!)

The thing is with prosopragnosia, I can't tell when it kicks in or not. Sometimes I recognize people with no problems!
Other times I recognize their face that I have seen their face before, but can't get the information to my mind as to who they actually are.
Still other times I may walk past a family member like my Mum if I don't expect her to be there at that time, (This has happened!) and my Mum who has the same issues has had the same... And was only my little brothers reaction to trying to pull my Mums hand when it once happened where further on while waiting in a lengthy queue in the bank, where I was going through everyone I thought I knew in my mind from family friends, to people I know, to my friend, to relitives, and finally my own family and trying to recall what they looked like... And "Oh!! ! It's my Mum!" By this time my Mum was another street away half dragging my little brother wondering why he was acting up ( He had seen me but was a bit too young of age to communicate that)....
Others have told me "Why did you ignore me when I waved to you before?" (Have had that lots of times! Have also had complete conversations where I have kept them going and going to desperately pick up on clues as to who I was talking to and after a 30-45 minute conversation the other person left happy to have met me and I genuinely to this day do not know who it was! Had it happen many times but usually around several minutes to twenty minutes into the conversation they give a clue in what they say so I realize who they are. I try and add subtle questions that when answered give me clues without the other person picking up on that I don't know who they are, as people get offended! I tried while in lengthy conversations asking directly who they are and people get offended and walk away! I tend to lose would be friends without realizing how or why I have lost them! People get offended if I don't realizs I know them!)

So in language as in words, and in faces are not my minds best areas.... So how do I even attempt to do individual pronouns when I cant even remember their names! (I also "Group" people in my minds if I do remember people and this can be in face form where two or several different people come under one face for me, or username/name form (Usually username as I noticed it with sites like this one) where I take two or more people and assume they are the same person as they write in the same styles. My mind sees patterns rather than people, and recognises the people through the patterns they make.
I pick up on behavioural patterns if that makes sense? So if someone is purposfully trying to hurt others without anyone realizing that (E.g. a hidden agenda of a "Troll" I pick up on that, not by what they say, but the patterns of what they say matched to past experiences).

Here is something interesting.


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TwilightPrincess
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19 Feb 2024, 8:24 am

How many people do you know that go by different pronouns?

When you’re talking to someone directly, people most often use their name or say “you.” For example, “How are you?”


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19 Feb 2024, 8:43 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
androbot01 ^^

afaik she passed away.

Unless you have specific information about her, I wouldn't really know. You may also be thinking of Sarahsmith, another Canadian lady who faced comparable issues. I won't go into detail, but perhaps you know who I'm talking about.

Although it comes to mind that androbot01 had created earlier accounts then abandoned them. In her case, it may have simply been a matter of deciding to forgo WP for good. Unless, as I said, you know something specific.


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TwilightPrincess
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19 Feb 2024, 8:54 am

People may have information they don’t wish to share publicly.


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19 Feb 2024, 9:09 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
People may have information they don’t wish to share publicly.

Well duh.


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TwilightPrincess
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19 Feb 2024, 10:01 am

You could take what I say at face value or you could think about what I may be implying.

No one is confusing androbot01 with Sarahsmith.


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MaxE
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19 Feb 2024, 10:14 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
You could take what I say at face value or you could think about what I may be implying.

No one is confusing androbot01 with Sarahsmith.

I have no idea what somebody may or may not be capable of confusing.

On an autism site, it might be better to spell things out that imply stuff.


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19 Feb 2024, 10:20 am

It might be a good idea to assume that people know exactly who they’re referring to.

For sensitive topics, sometimes implying is necessary.


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TwilightPrincess
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19 Feb 2024, 10:32 am

Recidivist


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MaxE
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19 Feb 2024, 10:46 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:
It might be a good idea to assume that people know exactly who they’re referring to.

For sensitive topics, sometimes implying is necessary.

Well I'll continue to take people at face value.


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19 Feb 2024, 10:52 am

With me, it depends on the person and situation. Even on autism sites, people often imply stuff or don’t mean precisely what they say and for various reasons. Innuendos usually work like that for example. One has to be wary of creeps on forums too. They shouldn’t be taken at face value.

On a different note, I’ve PMed Undeadjesus. I will keep people posted if I hear anything back.


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19 Feb 2024, 11:00 am

ironpony


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19 Feb 2024, 1:14 pm

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
^ Well, let me ask you, because you've jogged a memory and you're an Admin.

Do you still keep in touch with Tallyman? I recall he was an Englishman living in France and was a moderator for quite sometime. He was fairly frank about his suicidal tendencies and postulated he may ultimately take his own life someday. I hope he's still among the living.



Rumours have it ...! ( not that am fond of Rumours) : that he reincarnated here under a new and different name :D


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