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Sedentarian
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23 Dec 2014, 3:00 pm

Eggs will not crack after falling two miles.


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Kiprobalhato
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23 Dec 2014, 3:09 pm

capybaras are a myth.

i never worry about spending the rest of my life alone.

apples never make me feel nauseous


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הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


AnonymousAnonymous
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23 Dec 2014, 7:05 pm

I hate Christmas.


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Aprilviolets
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23 Dec 2014, 9:34 pm

I haven't finished my Christmas shopping yet.



jk1
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24 Dec 2014, 10:28 am

Global warming is a celebration where people turn on a new light globe.

House warming is a serious house environment problem. The heat generated by appliances accumulates in the house and kills the pot plants in the house.



FracturedRocket
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24 Dec 2014, 11:07 am

Christmas is one week from tomorrow.


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CosmicRuss
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26 Dec 2014, 1:30 pm

I liberated the turkey from my sister-in-law's fridge early yesterday morning but it hasn't moved an inch since.


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Sedentarian
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26 Dec 2014, 3:32 pm

Dead chickens sound like cows.


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BetwixtBetween
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26 Dec 2014, 8:20 pm

I don't own any stocks.



ajpd1989
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27 Dec 2014, 4:39 am

I'm happy about the lack of custom ranks in the new forum system.

I did not feel really depressed today.



KyleTheGhost
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27 Dec 2014, 5:49 am

New Year's Day happens on May 3rd.


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jk1
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27 Dec 2014, 7:14 am

My toilet reverse-flushes.



ReticentJaeger
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27 Dec 2014, 12:29 pm

I am very well-liked.



BetwixtBetween
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27 Dec 2014, 12:39 pm

I love it when there's a baby on my flight.



Sedentarian
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27 Dec 2014, 3:10 pm

Babies know how to talk the day they are born.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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27 Dec 2014, 3:48 pm

I am wearing a Santa hat right now.


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