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babybird
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01 Oct 2022, 12:10 pm

That's true, I've been harvesting them for years and selling them to the pixies


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Edna3362
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01 Oct 2022, 12:19 pm

I'm pregnant with triplets.
The father was a non-existent being from the astral plane.

In a way, the womb is not a portal.
Not a portal to summon more humans into this existence. Nope, nope, nope!


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PhosphorusDecree
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01 Oct 2022, 1:02 pm

The world's largest land mollusc is Architeuthis arborensis, the Phillippines Giant Tree Squid. It has become a widespread urban pest, living on a diet of cats, dogs and the occasional small child.


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naturalplastic
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01 Oct 2022, 9:01 pm

I did it!

I was working as a 'retail terrorist" for Saks Fifth Avenue. They ordered me to bomb Nordstrom Rack.

But I got confused and destroyed the Nord Stream Pipeline instead.

Well...its not MY fault that they have similar names!

Blame them for starting World War three. Not me! :(



CockneyRebel
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01 Oct 2022, 10:14 pm

I love the colour, pink. It's such a masculine colour.


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CunningSilence
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02 Oct 2022, 2:24 am

LSU lost to Auburn tonight.


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Matrix Glitch
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02 Oct 2022, 3:17 am

I invented Windex.



CockneyRebel
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02 Oct 2022, 6:36 am

I came up with the idea for Cut the Rope and Om Nom. I had a dream about a Sweet Pea that eats candy in 2009.


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Oberfeldwebel

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CunningSilence
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02 Oct 2022, 6:54 am

I only have three movies in my movie collection.


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Double Retired
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02 Oct 2022, 9:50 am

Double Retired wrote:
Just like I said, I brought something for us to drink.

Who brought the glasses and who brought the snacks?
1. You all were so thirsty I had to get us a second bottle! (I'm sorry it's not aged as much as the first.)

2. I got us stuff to eat but could someone get us some dessert, please!

3. And I know I asked for glasses but WRONG! Try again!


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PhosphorusDecree
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02 Oct 2022, 10:24 am

As of last Wednesday, there are only 7 planets in our Solar System. Earth has been demoted to a haggis.


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Matrix Glitch
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03 Oct 2022, 5:00 am

They'll never be able to invent a flat screen TV or a personal mobile phone.



Radish
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03 Oct 2022, 7:11 am

I've spent all morning climbing mount Everest. I'm knackered now.


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IsabellaLinton
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03 Oct 2022, 9:11 am

I had a really deep restful sleep, and when I woke up my three-day migraine and ended. I was able to turn my head and walk again. Then I found out it’s going to pour rain all day and I don’t have to go out with my mother after all.

Bonus: I also found my meds!!



Matrix Glitch
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03 Oct 2022, 10:35 am

Elon Musk keeps pestering me to loan him some money.



AnonymousAnonymous
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03 Oct 2022, 6:18 pm

I am now the new CEO of Facebook. :twisted:


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