The cold, hard "truth" about Aspergers

Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

Ganondox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,776
Location: USA

15 Dec 2011, 2:07 pm

Aspies are half-human and half computer. They are created when a geek who can't get a girl friend mates with a computer. The computer than gets pregnant and gives birth by using telekinesis to synthesis the child. The ratio between male and female aspies is 3:1. This is because only males can mate with computers and computers have a Y and X chromosome, so there is only a one in four chance that they will have two x chromosomes. This gives aspies the remarkable ability to have two Y chromosomes, letting them shoot lasers out of their eyes. The reason Autism is being diagnosed more is obviously because there are more computers, so there is more human-computer relationships. As aspies are half computer they are sort of like robots, as robots are physically awkward and talk in monotones aspies are physically awkward and also talk in monotones. Being half computer aspies are very good at computing and are very logical, but they lack a degree of humor, imagination, and emotions as computers don't have any of those. As metal and flesh don't mix well aspies have many weird sensory problems caused by the bridge between the metal and the flesh. Aspies can also freaking fly using the jetpack built into their feet. They flap as this helps them control their flight and makes taking off easier.

Feel free to add to it, abusing as many offensive and untrue stereotypes and being as ridiculous as you want.


_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html


TenPencePiece
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,000
Location: Greater Manchester, United Kingdom

15 Dec 2011, 2:24 pm

No no no you got it all wrong - Cones cause Aspergers, because all cones have Aspergers - Yes guys that's true!


_________________
I'm always here, all you have to do is ask and you shall receive


melvin-z
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 209

15 Dec 2011, 2:27 pm

I think you're right Tenpence! I've always thought cones were just aloof, pointing their noses in the air like they're better than everybody else.



Sparx
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Oct 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,186

15 Dec 2011, 2:30 pm

I'm not a computer or a cone. I'm a cat. Mew.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,504
Location: Stalag 13

15 Dec 2011, 2:36 pm

And the more outgoing Aspies are just like Austin Powers, peering and analyzing the world through our computerized horn-rimmed glasses. :nerdy:


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

15 Dec 2011, 3:08 pm

So THATS why I have all those problems being around magnets!


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


pete1061
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,766
Location: Portland, OR

15 Dec 2011, 3:15 pm

011101011110101110101100000101011010111010101110101011101010
101011101101011111010010011.....
oh, wait... wrong language..

Yes, I agree.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 172 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 35 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Diagnosed in 2005


Ganondox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,776
Location: USA

15 Dec 2011, 3:26 pm

TenPencePiece wrote:
No no no you got it all wrong - Cones cause Aspergers, because all cones have Aspergers - Yes guys that's true!



That's the CONE hard truth, not the COLD hard truth.


_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html


Sylkat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,425

15 Dec 2011, 5:34 pm

Dear Ganandox, So what you are saying is that if a computer acts up for no good reason, it (she) may be pregnant, and that if a repair shop tech takes the hard drive out , that is actually an abortion of one of US? Sylkat 8O



GreyGirl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,429
Location: In the world of pure imagination

15 Dec 2011, 7:24 pm

TenPencePiece wrote:
No no no you got it all wrong - Cones cause Aspergers, because all cones have Aspergers - Yes guys that's true!


Does this mean those big barrel-type cones are empty aspie pods?



Ganondox
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,776
Location: USA

15 Dec 2011, 7:24 pm

Sylkat wrote:
Dear Ganandox, So what you are saying is that if a computer acts up for no good reason, it (she) may be pregnant, and that if a repair shop tech takes the hard drive out , that is actually an abortion of one of US? Sylkat 8O


No silly, a computer can't get pregnant if no one mates with it. It's probably just a case of bad digestion (of what I have no idea). If your computer is pregnant, then your computer has some explaining to do.


_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html