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How's your parents' parenting style?

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How's your parents' parenting style?
Generally good. 41%  41%  [ 9 ]
Generally bad. (Too lenient.) 5%  5%  [ 1 ]
Generally bad. (Too strict.) 18%  18%  [ 4 ]
Generally bad. (Too unpredictable. Sometimes too lenient. Sometimes too strict.) 36%  36%  [ 8 ]
Total votes : 22

icyfire4w5
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26 Mar 2013, 2:44 am

Well, let me start this thread off with mine... I'll be copying and pasting a big chunk of words from one of my past WP posts.

icyfire4w5 wrote:
1. I love my parents and I'm 100% sure that my parents love me, but they keep accusing me of "thinking too much" whenever I try to explain to them how badly their mood swings frighten me. As far as I can remember, my parents rarely remain in the same mood all day long. When they are in a good mood, they shower me with praise, they spend lots of money with me, they seem genuinely interested in knowing more about my life has been... When they are in a bad mood, they sometimes vent their anger on me although I have done nothing to provoke them into anger. Sometimes, my parents suddenly flare up while I'm telling them perfectly innocuous things. (They accuse me of "being too gossipy" or yell stuff such as "WHY ARE YOU SO VICIOUS???" or simply storm off.) My parents' parenting style has planted the notion that "All humans are soooooooooo unpredictable." in my mind. If you have read through my old WP posts, um, you might have come across posts about how I'm frequently bullied from preschool till high school. Bits and pieces of bad experiences here and there have already snowballed into one big snowball that never fails to remind me how scary and unpredictable the world can be. So far, I have been interacting quite well on WP, but in real life, I avoid interacting with people whenever possible because I'm so scared that I might provoke them into showing me how nasty they can be. I usually rehearse conversations in my head even before I speak to my own parents. As soon as any conversation steers away from what I originally intend it to be like, I might appear perfectly fine on the surface but deep inside me, I can sense myself panicking because I can no longer stick to those scripts in my head.



jk1
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26 Mar 2013, 11:36 am

I know what you mean. Many bad experiences can stick in your head. My pessimistic/negative attitude comes from my many bad experiences throughout my life.

Any way, my parents are always in a good mood. I respect them for that. For me home was such a nice relaxing place. Even now when I visit them for a holiday (I now live in a foreign country), being there with them is just so much fun. I feel very lucky to have parents like them. They never pressured me into being/doing anything. Yet they never neglected me. I feel guilty for worrying them so much by not being normal though I know it's not really my fault.



IdahoRose
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27 Mar 2013, 12:50 am

My parents are very loving and protective - one might argue a bit too much so - over me. They spoil me and treat me like a princess. I am very close to both of them, my mom especially.



BlueMax
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27 Mar 2013, 1:50 am

90% total absenteeism. My mom only cared about her work - our only exposure to her was when she decided to scream at all of us for non-compliance.
My dad spent time with me when I was little, but later spent all his time avoiding my psychotic mom... unfortunately avoiding us in the process.

I was never taught any important life lessons, I was pretty much on my own. The freedom was nice, but when I became an adult I just didn't know what to do! Jobs, relationships, family... Especially all the work-related stuff I still have trouble with 20 years later.



Drehmaschine
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27 Mar 2013, 2:37 pm

Traditional German, very disciplined and firm. Not mean like it might sound, just very traditional.



equestriatola
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27 Mar 2013, 3:01 pm

Eh, typical Asian parenting. My mom offends me with her Benson-like temper (which I will NOT stand for). For those of you who don't know what I am talking about, Benson is a short-tempered gumball machine on Regular Show.


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nick007
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27 Mar 2013, 4:23 pm

My parent's didn't understand my Aspergers & physical disabilities & other limitations & still don't. My mom really loves me & tried. She's nice to me at times & has done aLOT more for me than lots of parents would do for their kids at my age but she didn't get me. She thinks I'm lazy because I avoid things or have problems doing them due to my disabilities. She's critical about how people my age are supposed to have jobs & be independent. We had LOTS of fights when I was a kid over school work because she didn't see me trying at home or studding but I'm dyslexic & don't learn that way & was soo brunt out from being at school that I needed time to wind down. We also had LOTS of fights over food because I'm an extremely picky eater & I don't cook because I feel my issues limit me. We fought aLOT about the air-conditioning too because I'm very sensitive to heat & humidity(I'm from south Louisiana which tends to be hot & humid) & mom didn't want the AC to be set any lower than 77 during the day & 78 at night because she didn't think it was that hot & she didn't want a higher electric bill even thou her & dad could of easily afforded it. She misinterprets things I do & say & I've been accused alot about being argumentative, when I'm just trying to explain something & I've also been accused of being rude, selfish, demanding, & hateful when I have an Aspie meltdown(I say some pretty nasty stuff). Mom was stressed out from her work & she felt like she was working to support me because I wasn't due to having a hard time finding employment because of disabilities. She resented it & took frustration out on me sometimes.

My dad on the other hand is kind of in his own world & laid back. He mostly got really angry with me when me & mom were fighting. Both of them are kind of inconsistent & change plans alot which I have major problems with.

They are both good people who really love me & tried but at this point in my life I'm alot better off now living with my girlfriend in Vermont than living with my parents in Louisiana.


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Tyri0n
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03 Apr 2013, 10:07 pm

Whack! Whack! Whack!

Only when I was much older did I discover that what they did counted as child abuse. I had no idea at the time and still go back and forth between resenting it and appreciating it.

Since I was not diagnosed with autism, but simply demon-possession, I thought they were unpredictable, but they probably weren't. Due to my autism, I had a difficult time understanding what would set my Dad off and get me whacked or yelled at, so I avoided him whenever possible and hid in the attic whenever I heard his voice.