Funny misheard things

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Many years ago, someone I knew from work heard her little boy singing along to Barry Manilow's 'Looks Like We Made It'.....

He was singing "Looks like tomatoes"!

Sylkat

Correct lyrics from Hot Chocolate's 'You Sexy Thing"
I believe in miracles
Where you from,you Sexy Thing

Misheard (not by me) as
I believe in Malcolm
Wear your bra,you Sexy Thing

part of the problem is the generally horrible enunciation by most pop singers, part of it is overzealous background accompaniment mix levels by the recording engineer/producer. the vocals of most pop songs are [mostly] buried in the mix, ruining their intelligibility.

I was talking about my cousins, who both teach math. Somebody walking past thought I said they teach meth.

What a coworker said: "I have six in the back of the pickup" (in reference to dead coyotes)
What I heard: "I have SEX in the back of the pickup"

What some random guy said in the store: "Bill does that."
What I heard: "(insert name of rhyming adult plaything here)."

Some lady said: "God! Your cat!" (referring to my now deceased 25-pound orange tabby)
What I heard: God! You're fat! (my poor Bubby).


It doesn't help that the regional accent makes things even harder to hear.

My mind went somewhere else when I read that and I also read "Stuck In Loki Again".

I've misheard tons of things over the years. My mom and I were in the backyard one sunny day in Montana and she mentioned something along the lines that one of our bush plants was sticking on her shirt. I, being someone with NVLD, misheard that as there were spiders in the bush.

What my brother said: "Damn those hypocrites."
What I heard: "Dad's a Hippogriff."

Lol! Is your Dad Buckbeak then?

Apparently so.

On the TV "...find a cure for Type 1 diabetes."
According to my ears: "... find a cure for taekwondo".

hehehehehhee

for the first 23 years of my life I thought "ride sally ride" was "ride salad ride"?

I used think it was Major look instead of "Made you look" and I thought duty lady was "Judy lady" because that is what it sounded like to my ears.

For a while when I was a kid, whenever I listened to the song "I saw Three Ships" I heard "I saw three s**ts coming sailing in on Christmas day" instead of 'I saw three ships come sailing in on Christmas day."

Two weeks ago, my sister invited her friend for dinner.

When my sister's friend arrived, my mom said to her, "How many constructions have you had?"
My sister's friend said, "Constructions of what?"

Realizing what my mom said, my sister, my sister's friend, and I started laughing very hard.
Understandably, my mom got very pissy and yelled at the three of us. My mom actually meant to say "contractions" because she believed my sister's friend to be pregnant. My sister's friend is NOT pregnant, though she is just as chunky as me and my sister.

My neighbour was drunkenly ranting yesterday. I have no idea, what she actually said, but it sounded like she announced with great confidence: "I'm a chicken nugget.".

One of my personal favorite mondegreens. What has been heard, cannot be un-heard.

http://wetdreamtomato.ytmnd.com/

My aunt sings "There's a bad moon on the rise," "There's a bathroom on the right."

She knows the right words. She just thinks its funny.

I'm sure people hear all sorts of amusing things come out of my mouth. Between the colloquialisms and the caricature-sthick Ozark-Appalachian accent, it's a wonder anyone ever understands anything I say correctly.