Breakup reason - can anybody have any insight on this????

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Hi all,

Just wanted to ask you all aspies out there something...
My ex-aspie boyfriend doesn't want to get back with me because he thinks he is going to cheat on me.
We broke up 2 months ago and then I wanted to get back. He didn't want to and the reason being is that he thinks he is going to cheat on me because of my breast size. Mines are size A and those are quite small (unfortunately). He has been obsessed with big boobs and that I know but he never said about my boobs to me (aspies out there please let me know if this is not an aspie trait. I don't want to believe that it is. .. While he is obsessed with big boobs, I have never been thinking that was extreme to the point that was the only reason he didn't want to get back with me.)

When we first broke up, I know it was my fault. But, I can't quite understand how he can just say I have small boobs and he needs big boobs and that is why he doesn't want to get back with me. I don't know if I should just take it as it literally means or he just is excusing my boobs and that he doesn't love me any more. At this point, it is really not worth thinking about this.. I know.. but I just wanted to know which one is the true reason. It is quite shocking to hear from someone you love telling you the reason of separation being the size of my boobs...

Any advice would be appreciated...
-despondent NT-

^^^
I am saddened that you want to reunite with somebody who mistreats you. IMHO anybody who would broach such a reason for a breakup or failure to bond, is not all there and as such is not worth your time. let your head lead your heart here.

^ I agree. He obviously cares more about looks and sex appeal than love. It's not an Aspie trait--plenty of Aspie men are not this shallow. Let him go and find someone with big enough boobs, and you find someone who likes you for who you are.

He might be being 100% truthful with you.

How long were you together? If it wasn't all that long, he may have been trying to see if he could make it work with you despite his attraction to larger breasts and learned that he simply couldn't.

Different, but I can relate. I'm a gay guy, most attracted to blonde guys of a particular age range, look & build, race etc. There are plenty of other guys I find attractive, but when I think about dating someone I'd want them to be as close to my physical attraction ideals as possible - in addition to a personality/chemistry match, of course. There have been plenty of guys interested in dating me, but I've declined because I know I don't see myself partnering up w/ someone that isn't almost exactly my "type." I could go for some slight variation if everything else was bang on, but there isn't really a lot of wiggle room. I'm attracted to what I'm attracted to and want to date the type of guy I'm into most. Obviously physical/sexual/aesthetic attraction is high on my priority list. (But so are other things, like personality/interests/intelligence etc) Others might not place such a high value on aesthetics at all, and that's just fine if they're more attracted to a compatible personality more than anything and don't even care about looks at all. It takes all kinds.. everyone's different, everyone's criteria are different.. everyone is attracted to whatever it is they're attracted to and that's that, really. You can't change that.

I could imagine if I were to date, say, a black haired asian guy that we might get along just fine.. but since I see myself spending my life with a light haired caucasian guy, I can foresee that being a reason to breakup if I found myself eyeing other guys and thinking about dating them etc all the time. Myself, I just avoid that whole scenario by not even initiating a relationship with someone I don't see myself with in the first place.

Your ex? Well, it sounds like he was willing to give it a shot and learned that he places too high a value on his attraction to large breasts to see himself spending his life with a woman with smaller breasts. It really is that simple, IMO.

I consider myself lucky to be gay.. it's pretty easy to have a nsa/fwb sex and not even worry about any sort of dating relationship if I want to hookup with someone for a bit of fun. No drama that way. I can just be free to meet mr. right now many times over until I happen to meet mr. right.

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