What's Your One Worst Fear?

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Me first.

Death. (And the sickness before death, if I don't go instantly. Oh, and being alone when I'm dying. I just think that no one should have to experience death alone. While I'm on the subject, I want to be buried in my jammies with really thick socks because I get cold feet.)

So, what's your worst fear?

Mine would be the antithesis of your biggest fear - living.

Mine is me being outside of my own shell - inside my shell there are routines, rules, logics, comforting things in my own way.

I am actually living my worst fear: Having to live outside my (as Drawyer put it so well) shell and adapt to the NTs and their peculiarities in order to be financially secure and being able to provide for my family.

Me saying things and suddenly realising the consequences of saying it. Like what just happened.

insufficiency.

I have a fear of clowns. My fear isn't as bad now that I'm older, but between the ages of 6 and 16 I was terrified of them. I saw the VHS cover of IT when I was 6 and that freaked me out. I can see clowns faces now without freaking out, but I'm still uncomfortable to see them in real life or even see the movie.

Nuclear War. Probably as a consequence of growing up in the 1980's when things hotted up under the Reagan administration resulting in several documentaries and films being made about it. I still worry about it a lot.

Snakes. Can't stand even to look at pictures of them. I tell people I am only afraid of two kinds of snakes: live ones and dead ones.

Having a rabid squirrel run up my pant leg.

Something happening & no longer having my girlfriend.

Rejection and dying alone.

Getting cancer and the chemo treatments that would follow it. I would sincerely rather die than get chemo. Just the thought of being heavily nauseous and vomiting nearly all the time is terrifying to me. You even have to try and avoid eating your favorite foods before the treatments because you'll genetically feel sickened by such things afterwards even though intellectually you know it wasn't the food itself that made you sick.

Which is also the reason I'm terrified of nuclear war. Radiation poisoning has terrified me for years. Grew up during the cold war, never fully understood why Americans and Russians hated each other so much. Apparently my own country's commie just because of our "free" health care. Still have dreams about mushroom clouds and such.

Cancer doesn't seem to run in my family but I heard most women who don't have a history of it in their family get breast cancer. My mom's started getting mammograms. It makes me nervous whenever she does. I hate to say it, but I don't think I could handle even a close family member undergoing chemo.

Outliving my retirement and having to work some dead-end job and living paycheck to paycheck. That or wasting away in a nursing home. I honestly don't know which one would be worse.

The nursing home. That terrifies me too or falling at home and no one finds me. We've had patients like that and they yelled for help for days and ended up urinating and poohing on themselves. Skin and muscle breakdown, dehydration. Awful. One had even had one of those button devices around her neck at all times to push for help, but she took it off in bed and put it on her nightstand and ended up that one time falling on her way to the bathroom. She was traumatized.

Ultimately death and rejection which trickles down into a lot of things