Why are people so obsessed with the appearance of their food

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There was a huge incident in our home for Thanksgiving over the appearance of the turkey being carved and the pumpkin pie.

Someone was upset that their turkey slices were too thick and not cleanly cut. Meanwhile I scooped up some turkey scraps and mixed it with some gravy and was perfectly content. It really does not taste that much different.

Same thing with the pumpkin pie. It tends to come apart when cut. Someone was upset about their pumpkin pie not being a cleanly cut triangle.

I get that a lot of people want their food to look nice. In a perfect world I would too. I just don't get why even people create an issue out of it.

It sounds to me as if someone at your house has control issues or perhaps some underlying resentment that comes out in weird ways (like the way food is presented!) or stress that they can't manage, putting them "on edge" and priming them for an outburst. Was it just one person doing all the complaining?

The appearance of food can matter more to some people than others, but what you're describing sounds a bit over the top!

Stress is actually probably the reason.

I still don't get it though. I don't get taking stress out on the appearance of the food.

I had a mushy glob of pumpkin pie that didn't bother me. As long as nothing was done the food, I would not even care.

I would be very upset if my food looked like dog poop.
Otherwise... bit sad if it doesn't look perfect, but no big deal.

I'd agree with KimD here: Some sort of general unhappiness displaying itself in discontent with the food.

Appearance of food can affect its taste.

Why does the appearance of a meal matter? Several thoughts, not having been there...

...maybe that was their OCD displaying?

...maybe it really mattered to them that everyone be presented with a *perfect holiday* while unintentionally ruining it with stress?

...maybe they have a controlling partner or grew up with one or more controlling parents, who insists/insisted everything be impossibly perfect? I've seen that play out & it comes across as completely irrational.

and finally, the appearance of food matters because of cultural influences, too. As an extreme example, not everyone would feel comfortable eating each of the following. For some, imperfect food would be just as bad.

[Sorry, I was going to post pics of foods that different cultures eat that we find disagreeable & vice versa but got completely squick'd out partway through and just deleted them all. You can use your imagination instead.]

I was just reading the Picky Eaters trope on TV Tropes last night, and I learned some interesting things. Apparently there is a name for people who can only eat certain kinds of food and everything else is like poison to them. Food neophobia ,it's called. They make other people who are picky about their food seem normal, which it pretty much is. Nearly everyone has some kind of food they hate or can only eat it a certain way.

I also read that a hatred of green vegetables is actually some genetic survival thing. Many green things have a bitter taste, and many things that have a bitter taste are poisonous. Rhubarb leaves, for example. And it tastes worse to kids because their taste buds are more sensitive. So I guess other kids were technically doing the right thing all along, while as a kid I ate -and enjoyed- green leafy salads and green beans and peas. There are three vegetables I hate and two of them aren't even green (on the inside, anyway) - turnips, squash, and cabbage. I'm also fussy about potatoes. It depends on how they're cooked. I can't handle them mashed because of the way they stick in my throat. And if turnips are mashed into them, forget it!

I think my nephew, who is autistic, has selective eating disorder. Trying to make him a meal is a bit stressful for my mother.

Veering a bit OT, but what the heck...many other parents of AS/ASD kids I've talked with or follow online have eventually learned to simply make peace with this: Just because they (the parents) were trained under threat of spankings to comply and eat everything on their plate, it's now realize *why* some kids avoid certain foods and it's not really that great for them to force them to eat it just out of spite or power. I know my spouse and I certainly had to go through that shift of perspective. People are sooo incredibly imprinted on what is *correct* just because it is what they were forcibly taught growing up. Often because at the time if they didn't, love and support were withheld; that sort of fear becomes a core of a person over the years.

Control issues and OCD have been mentioned as likely causes. It could also be what Freud described as anal retentivity, a very common neurosis in affluent western society, particularly among Anglo-Saxons. It presents in very similar ways to OCD, and is excruciating to witness. For those afflicted with it, everything has to be perfectly ordered.

Thanksgiving isn't just about food, it's a ritual. The turkey isn't turkey, it's a perfect offering to your family member to symbolically show you love them. And so it has to be perfect. Unless you don't care about such tribal things.