Make up a really dumb quote/question

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When in a tense situation on the road ALWAYS make the finger to other drivers. It will always improve the situation.

Always use a blow torch when repairing a full gas tank.

Are leather pants really that trendy in Germany?

Aren't psychologists and psychiatrists the same thing?

Will a computer virus make me sick when I touch the case or wear headphones?

Did you know people saved stuff on tapes?
Did you know people stored data on square plastic pieces they called floppy disks?

What's the difference between motherboard and mainboard?
Do I need both for a computer to work?

How did people cook things back then when there was no electricity?

Oh my gosh, my marker is bleeding! Should I call the vet??

Fishing for compliments? I'm not cool enough to do that.

Isn't oxymoron, like, a type of detergent?

No way! They had MATH before calculators...?

I have no idea who my dad's son is.

I know what innuendo is, it's an Italian pastry!

I know which country Italian food comes from! It's a place called "The Supermarket"!

Don't be silly, if the sun's really a star, then it surely wouldn't shine that bright!

Pulsars are the things that check on your heartbeat, right?

I caught a customer stealing granola bars in my convenience store on my store surveillance cameras. Why can't I "digitally enhance" the video recording and create resolution out of nowhere like the TV shows?

Did my dad give birth to me?

Why were music CDs back then so big and why were they black?

"If Noah used cubits to build his ark, wouldn't they get all soggy in the water?"
"Don't you know what cubits are?"
"Of course I do, they're those crunchy little toasted bread things they put on salads!"

Seen on a bumper sticker: "Honk if your horn is broken!"

"Europe is such a lovely country."

"Don't you dare look at my in that tone of voice every again!"

With affection for Yogi Berra:

"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."

With no affection for Brooke Shields:

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you’ve lost an important part of your life."

Ditto for Christina Aguilera:

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"

Bumper sticker: "Baby on board" Oh well I was going to crash into your car but now that mention it....

I like to go to cross ocean countries like Canada.

What Britney Spears said a long time ago