This is a rather random confession for me I feel like I can't type this anywhere else as I feel a strange sense of shame talking about this. Since 2014 when I was 24 (or likely even well before that) I have been showing symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis. I went through periods of vision loss losing feeling on my entire right side for five months, muscle spasms and many others. Currently this "thing" is acting up again and I have been sitting in bed for the last three days because my feet aren't working properly and I've got that "spotty vision" thing.
Yes I am neglecting my health, I am ashamed about this but I don't want to "deal with it". I don't want to go through the hassle of attaining a diagnosis. Actually that's only half true - I don't want to be "found out" either.
Back in 2014 I was hoping that it would just go away and it remitted for awhile in 2015 but now it's back again.
I just can't emotionally deal with an M.S diagnosis right now. I have already been through so much crap I feel like I ran out of the majority of my coping skills. I know this is very foolish but I just don't know what else to do.
15 Aug 2016, 10:45 pm
