When did you realize you needed to change your life?

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zeldapsychology
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20 Aug 2016, 11:31 pm

I was on SSI disability for years and spent month to month not giving it any thought through my 20's games $100's a month or game systems etc. NOT looking for job help NOT looking for housing or ANY HELP coasting through. Now at 30 (at 29) found out NO SSI OMG! what am I going to do! I tried applications etc. and my anxiety/depression is too much to cope with that and despite what one report said I AM still disabled and am going through a 2nd lawyer but that will be 12-19 months from (Feb. 2016) to fix this hopefully.

But this made me realize when I do get this fixed I don't want to blow my money! I want to potentially return to college again for another degree. Look into job help this time! Look into housing too (Don't want to live at home forever!) Hoping this fixes itself sooner rather than later so I can get my life back on track!

I don't need to blow money on games monthly just buy the series I know I like sort of thing. Get into reading more.

NOT having disability SSI has gave me a different outlook on life and I know I want to do better in my 30's than my 20's. :-)



CockneyRebel
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20 Aug 2016, 11:50 pm

I've realized that I needed to change my life after wearing a made up ugly Christmas sweater that had 15 duplicates of the word, Ho surrounding the 1965 Kinks logo all held up by paper clips. My hair's shorter now, I no longer wear the red jacket and frilly shirt and I've switched my avatar from The Kinks to another character with a HFA mindset, except the character is now a person instead of a rat. Two cultures are very popular right now. Hippie culture and war culture. Guess which one I've chosen.


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C2V
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21 Aug 2016, 5:11 am

Um -
1. Years ago, passed out and stayed out for hours and no one noticed and I had no idea what had happened
2. The only time I ever tried to "come out" about being trans and my casual boyfriend and casual girlfriend of the time both wanted nothing more to do with me
3. Someone I lived with succeeded in making me fight with them and I was disgusted with myself, and realized that I could not tolerate dependency anymore, amd had to become independent
4. The doctor told me if I didn't quit drinking I literally would not live to thirty.
Sorry, I'm a bucket of sunshine !


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RetroGamer87
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21 Aug 2016, 5:27 am

When I was 25. Like the OP I realized I needed to get a career. If only I had started earlier.


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21 Aug 2016, 5:50 am

when i was 26, i realized that i couldn't have a career, and that the "promising future" everybody kept telling me i had was just a twisted fantasy. i realized i had to be self-employed and i had to stop trying/pretending to be normal (which i always knew i wasn't, despite not having any diagnosis back then). i've been in the process of unlearning those old habits since then, and trying to figure out some kind of life that can actually work for me in the long run


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21 Aug 2016, 6:24 am

I was only 16, after 2 years of self isolation. I realized my sister is about to catch up on me. I realized that I cannot stay isolated for any longer. And I realized I wasted time and I have to do it now, or never.
Realizing I never done anything FOR someone in real life. At all. Knowing it's just anxiety, and not being in a spectrum that truly held me back. I'm capable of this and that, why not?

So one day, I made a mental leap of a decision. I just went to my mom, and told her that I'm going back to school. Going back outside and face it.
So I re-explore it, even if negative thoughts and fears persistent, I faced it head on. Catching my confort zones off guard, until there is no such.

I start out passive, slow... It's like gaining momentum. Knowing if I do this too fast, it would put me into regression.
I have known to myself that I cannot just fool people by pretending. I wanna learn, I want progress. I don't want to hide incompetence for sake of keeping up. I want a REAL skill, not a superficial one.
So I find my own pace, and my own best way. And I had found it.


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TheSilentOne
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21 Aug 2016, 8:51 am

I got in a really bad car accident a few months ago. I ended up okay with no permanent damage, but my car was completely totaled. After that, I realized how important life is and the support I received from my family, friends, and everybody else showed me how many people really care about me. I then decided to go to school full-time, instead of part time, like I was doing before, I switched my major to something I am more passionate about too. I'm very overweight and I also started eating less junk food and using an exercise bike a few times a week.


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zeldapsychology
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21 Aug 2016, 10:04 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
When I was 25. Like the OP I realized I needed to get a career. If only I had started earlier.



Good point. Wish I would have listened to my mom and got housing help since that takes upwards of 2 years anyway not to mention the months it could take getting even a part time job through a job coach. But I don't want to sit around and do nothing and blow my money either! :-)



C2V
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21 Aug 2016, 11:14 am

Quote:
Good point. Wish I would have listened to my mom and got housing help since that takes upwards of 2 years anyway not to mention the months it could take getting even a part time job through a job coach. But I don't want to sit around and do nothing and blow my money either

I wish I'd known about the overwhelming amount of support services available to "youth" when I was one and could take advantage of it. I thought I had no choice but to put up with all the s**t, because it was either dependency or nothing. I wasn't aware of all the services I could have appealed to, and I think that was deliberate.
By the time I realised services were available for people I'm trouble, I was too old to take advantage, as everything seems targeted at "youth.
Obviously, adults have no problems. /sarcasm


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Britte
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21 Aug 2016, 1:38 pm

Initially:
When I realized I could no longer manage to work in my field of choice and of which I had earned a degree.

The second time:
After being reamed by a workplace predator, which changed the course of my life as I knew it.

The third:
A current work in progress. I can no longer manage the intensity of my job. I've been working 50 to 60 hours per week, in recent months and my job is extremely, mentally demanding, so I have been pounding the pavement, so to speak. I had moved about a year and a half ago, to be in closer proximity to my job, but, I am currently planning to move back to where I came from, which will make me extremely happy, for a variety of reasons. Hopefully everything will come together with a new job, home, etc.

Much success with your endeavors!



CockneyRebel
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22 Aug 2016, 12:52 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I've realized that I needed to change my life after wearing a made up ugly Christmas sweater that had 15 duplicates of the word, Ho surrounding the 1965 Kinks logo all held up by paper clips. My hair's shorter now, I no longer wear the red jacket and frilly shirt and I've switched my avatar from The Kinks to another character with a HFA mindset, except the character is now a person instead of a rat. Two cultures are very popular right now. Hippie culture and war culture. Guess which one I've chosen.


I wore that ugly Christmas sweater to work and I work at a bank.


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RetroGamer87
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22 Aug 2016, 5:37 pm

C2V wrote:
I wish I'd known about the overwhelming amount of support services available to "youth" when I was one and could take advantage of it. I thought I had no choice but to put up with all the s**t, because it was either dependency or nothing. I wasn't aware of all the services I could have appealed to, and I think that was deliberate.
Me too. In my teens / early 20s I had difficulties with work and study, caused by depression and other problems.

When I was 15 depression caused me to go from a high achieving student who took classes two years above my age to a failing every class. I scraped through my high school diploma with a C average and then turned off, tuned out and became a semi-recluse for a few years.

The trouble is, when I was 15 failing my classes or when I was 20 dropping out of community, I didn't know I was depressed. I didn't know I had anxiety. It was like I didn't have words for these things. When I was 15 I could've told the school counselor I was depressed, gotten referred to a psychiatrist, gotten the help I needed.

Or there were probably other youth mental health services. Boystown or something like that. If I had therapy/antidepressants when I was 15 I could have gone straight back to being a high achieving student. Then I could have continued this through university, expanding my horizons both social as well as academic.

I can't do that now because I can't afford to quit my job. And no one on campus wants to hang out with the old 28 year old :lol:


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22 Aug 2016, 5:49 pm

Realizing that we are headed for poverty and that my family is tired of me.


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