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Embla
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26 Oct 2017, 8:31 am

I have no idea what to do when they call me. Everyone says that I should just say no and hang up, but I don't want to be impolite. I know how sh***y their job is, so I just want to be nice to them. But I always end up agreeing to things that I don't want, and especially - can't afford!
The same with the charity-recruiters in town. I don't want to refuse giving to charity, but I honestly don't have any spare money!
I tried telling them what my income is, but that didn't work because it is so ridiculously low that they don't believe me, and get offended because they think they're being lied to x)
Sometimes I can just speak Swedish to them and they'll leave me alone because they think I'm a tourist. But that only works when you need to be Danish to sign up for whatever they're advertising.

How do you handle those people?



AspieUtah
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26 Oct 2017, 8:47 am

If you are agreeing to give them your money when you (and they) know you can't afford to do so, they are, by definition, harming you. As such, you have every right to "Simply. Hang. Up." Trust me, they don't care (they are just searching for the next individual who will say "yes" to them), and they won't remember you after just 10 seconds (they will be too distracted with calling the next individual on their list).

It is okay to defend yourself from physical harm? Of course it is. But, it is also okay to defend yourself from commercial and financial harm (coercive extortion). Say nothing to them (remember the "yes" scam last year where scammers, at least in the United States, would edit their recordings of individuals answering "yes" to the simple question of "can you hear me?" and turning the recording into an agreement to buy expensive useless "deals"). This "proof of agreement" cost a lot of people a lot of money.

So, be your own best advocate: Say nothing and hang up. You won't insult them because they don't care what you think of them. By not playing their game, you will teach them to stop calling you. Every time you hang up on them, you protect yourself, and win their game.


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leejosepho
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26 Oct 2017, 9:16 am

Embla wrote:
I don't want to be impolite... I just want to be nice to them.

Whenever someone calls to offer something I had not already specifically requested in a previous call I had initiated, I simply state that I am not interested and then hang up the phone. By doing that, I am freeing the caller of his or her employer-driven obligation to continue the unsolicited call...and I consider that to be polite, respectful and nice.

Whenever someone I do not already know calls and asks any kind of question, I respond by saying I do not answer any questions over the phone...and then if s/he asks "Why not?", I repeat my previous response word-for-word and then just keep doing that until s/he ultimately gives up and hangs up. By doing that, I am allowing the caller to do as his or her employer might require, and that includes giving him or her the opportunity to decide for himself or herself as to when the time has come to simply move along to the next call.

Whenever someone calls to request a donation, I tell him or her I do not give donations over the phone and then revert back to the above if the caller asks any kind of question or offers some kind of "gift" as an inducement. There is absolutely no such thing as ever getting any solicitor to willingly agree with my "No!", so it is actually quite impolite to try to steer the conversation in that direction.


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Last edited by leejosepho on 26 Oct 2017, 9:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

BTDT
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26 Oct 2017, 9:26 am

Just be an Aspie and say that sorry, I'm disabled, can't get a job that pays a decent wage, and have no money.
Then hang up.



magz
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26 Oct 2017, 9:50 am

I just say "thank you, I am not interested" and hang up.


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EzraS
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26 Oct 2017, 11:18 am

I wouldn't answer any call if I didn't know the person calling. That's what voicemail is for.



BeaArthur
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26 Oct 2017, 11:39 am

magz wrote:
I just say "thank you, I am not interested" and hang up.

This. It works for me!


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Kiprobalhato
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26 Oct 2017, 11:57 am

after having a phone number formerly belonging to someone who apparently didn't let anyone know she changed her phone number....and receiving my fair share of telemarketing and IRS scams, i usually don't even answer if an incoming call is from someone not in my contacts.

needless to say i have a lot of unopened voicemails. most of which are unintelligible.


just don't pick up the phone if you don't know them, op. i'm sure they won't mind...they probably hate their
job badly enough and i doubt it'll make them much happier if you do buy whatever crap they peddle.

that said....i have been tricked plenty of times by thieves who called from my area code, making it look like it might be someone i know who's not in my contacts.

once you actually answer them and they've talked to you for a while...it's much harder to hang up, yes.


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Raleigh
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26 Oct 2017, 1:33 pm

Screen your calls or hang up immediately.
It's not rude.
They're being rude for interrupting your peace.

Or ask them if they want to buy a used Honda and start reeling off the specs so they can't get a word in. (I wouldn't actually have the verbal capacity to do this but it's one of my fantasies)


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nick007
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27 Oct 2017, 12:25 am

I just hang up on them or don't answer when I don't recognize the number. The reason I do those things is because they keep harassing me after I tell them No only to call me back within a week. I get lots of annoying calls including calls from online pharmacies asking me if I want to buy more Viagra. I tell them I never took that & they say according to their records I have & they refuse to take No for an answer.


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whatamievendoing
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27 Oct 2017, 7:52 am

magz wrote:
I just say "thank you, I am not interested" and hang up.


A tactic I myself employ when a telemarketer calls me. Or rather would employ, since I surprisingly haven't had to put up with them too much.


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Luna035
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27 Oct 2017, 8:07 am

I used to always get telemarketing calls when I lived in Idaho. I would curse at them, hang up on them, and add them to the Do Not Call registry. It is obnoxious.



Embla
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28 Oct 2017, 5:40 am

You guys are great!
I think the telemarketers here are trained in not giving you the chance to say "no thank you, I'm not interested". That one is really hard for me.
I think just hanging up will have to be the best option for me. It's way less impolite than start yelling at them (as I know some people do) and at least I'm not wasting their time.

Thank you all!



Dragnet
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28 Oct 2017, 6:20 am

I don't know how legal it is but I tell them to go to hell and hang up.

That is my default response in person when you have really pissed me off and that is my default response on the phone when bill collectors or telemarketers call.



beady
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28 Oct 2017, 6:35 am

Telemarketing companies are taking advantage of the people that desperately need a job and by extension taking advantage of you. No one in that chain cares personally about you and their sole desire is to take your money. By allowing this to happen you are inadvertently perpetuating this scam on the helpless. I receive an average of three per day. I never say a word but simply lay down the phone without hanging up.. This way I avoid saying anything angry because that upsets me.



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29 Oct 2017, 5:52 pm

I agree you should screen your calls. If you are tricked into answering a telemarketer call, just say "hello?" to anything they say. Keep on repeating "hello? " "hello?" Then say to some imaginary person " someone called me and I keep saying hello and nobody responds". The telemarketer will hang up on you and will either think you are hard of hearing or a kook.