Can Men And Women Be Friends W/O Physicality

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Aspinator
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03 Dec 2017, 8:55 pm

First of all let me state that I have been friends with women but there has always been the physical aspect. I don't think that it is possible to have a friendship with a woman without the physical aspect. You can be a co-worker or whatever with a woman but that is not being an actual friend. Do you think it is possible?



TheAP
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03 Dec 2017, 9:04 pm

Yes, I'm asexual so the physical thing isn't really a factor for me. I've had great male online friends.



MariaTheFictionkin
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03 Dec 2017, 9:10 pm

I believe anyone can be friends with the opposite gender despite how they physically look. Whatever women you have been with who only care about what you look like sound like terrible people, to be honest.

For me personally, when it comes to friend making (and even finding a partner), I don't look at whether someone looks good or is rich etc. I look for someone who respects me, that doesn't treat me like a freak, a kind, loving person who I can trust. As a female myself I have 3 friends all of which are male. 1 is heavy set, wears glasses and has short hair. The other has long black hair and is around 6 feet tall. And the other has a little shorter hair than him, wears glasses and is diagnosed with autism.


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Raleigh
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03 Dec 2017, 9:20 pm

Yes


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Syd
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03 Dec 2017, 9:21 pm

A man who befriends a woman (or vice versa) only for the purpose of becoming more than friends isn't a true friend at all.



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04 Dec 2017, 1:54 am

Syd wrote:
A man who befriends a woman (or vice versa) only for the purpose of becoming more than friends isn't a true friend at all.

Amen.
I think it's silly to believe that men and women can't just be friends, it has to turn into sex, like it's inevitable. It seems completely contradictory, too, for all people insist there must be attraction, and sexual chemistry, and so on in order for someone to consider someone else a sexual mate. Can't have it both ways.
Plus if it's based on sex, what about queers? Does that mean a gay man, for instance, cannot have friendships with straight men, or even another gay man, without sex, just because that person belongs to the group they are attracted to?
I'm no expert on friendships but I have connections through an interest group with many men and women (considering both could potentially be sexual partners for me) without sex coming into it. We just get along well enough and have an interest in common to talk about.


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kokopelli
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04 Dec 2017, 2:15 am

Yes, but it's not unusual, at least in my experience, to want to test the waters. When you do test the waters, you stand a good chance of seeing the friendship end.



Aspinator
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04 Dec 2017, 3:07 am

For all the married people and those in a relationship; tell your significant other that you want to expand your horizons and have women friends



kokopelli
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04 Dec 2017, 3:15 am

Aspinator wrote:
For all the married people and those in a relationship; tell your significant other that you want to expand your horizons and have women friends


That would go over real good.



nick007
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04 Dec 2017, 4:09 am

kokopelli wrote:
Aspinator wrote:
For all the married people and those in a relationship; tell your significant other that you want to expand your horizons and have women friends


That would go over real good.
I've talked with my girlfriend before about being in the life of my celeb crush if I could ever find a way to be her bodyguard &/or personal assistant & my girlfriend would actually allow it if I could ever figure out how to actually make it happen. Like TheAP I'm on the asexuality spectrum & my girlfriend knows I love her more.


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04 Dec 2017, 1:18 pm

Aspinator wrote:
For all the married people and those in a relationship; tell your significant other that you want to expand your horizons and have women friends


I'd be okay with a boyfriend or husband having women friends.



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04 Dec 2017, 3:16 pm

Yes, most of my friends are straight males. They are often also my husband's friends and their girlfriends are often friends of me and my husband. We don't have least problem with it. The rules are simple: no water-testing tolerated for people in relationships and apart from this, full trust. It works perfectly fine for us.


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Raleigh
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04 Dec 2017, 3:24 pm

Aspinator wrote:
For all the married people and those in a relationship; tell your significant other that you want to expand your horizons and have women friends

We both have friends of the opposite gender, no problem.


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nick007
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04 Dec 2017, 10:52 pm

I forgot to mention that a couple years ago my girlfriend chatted with a guy she wanted a realtionship with before me & had a crush on. They used to be good online friends & then he disappeared for a long time & suddenly reappeared again. I have no problem with them being friends but he disappeared again shortly after. I'd have no problem with her being friends with a guy offline either as long as he seemed like a halfway decent friend.


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05 Dec 2017, 5:02 pm

Syd wrote:
A man who befriends a woman (or vice versa) only for the purpose of becoming more than friends isn't a true friend at all.
What if it initially starts as friendship, but after some time around each other one party begins having feelings beyond friendship? It's something I've wondered for a long while now...

I've had friends that were just that (while I will admit that I haven't been completely devoid of interest in any one girl, it's more a matter that there wasn't enough interest), but on two occassions I've had an attachment to someone I called a friend. Neither of the two are in my life at this point due to poor choices on my part, and I've constantly wondered what kind of friend I was as a result. The former of the two I'll admit I wasn't a true friend toward, because I can't find anything I did to actually contribute, opting to wait for an opening to do something rather than actively trying. The latter of the two I actually made more of an effort for... listening to her problems and offering advice or encouragement whenever I could (and sometimes being there at times where I should've been elsewhere), and basically shelving those feelings for the longest time. Things eventually collapsed after 5 years because I allowed my feelings to get to me, and seeing no good options, took the one that turned out the most illogical. Three years after, I doubt she feels anything other than contempt toward me for that, and for following her around at a distance a good while after. This was all online so one could argue that none of it was real to begin with, but it felt all too real...

idk im just rambling dont mind me


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ASPartOfMe
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05 Dec 2017, 7:17 pm

Been there, done that a long time ago in college mainly.


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