Why do people think like this?

Post Reply New Topic

Why do people think that as soon as your kid reaches age 17-18 you should practically "brush them under the carpet"?

My 30-year-old brother (still lives at home) has walked out of his job due to the job being too overwhelming, and my mother is unhappy about it and is stressed.
But when she expresses her feelings to other people, they just say "ohh you can't be stressed, he's an adult, it's not your concern."

But I think my mum has every right to be concerned. My brother is depressed and lacks confidence, so that makes it even harder to make the right decisions. Also with my brother out of a job, my mum is worrying about having to financially keep him, (unless he applies for some sort of unemployment benefit, which is still not much to live on). So it basically will affect the other people who lives with him.

There is a difference between being concerned for your grown-up children's wellbeing, and treating them like children. My mum is not treating him like a child. She is just worried and stressed, because, well, my brother is family, just like her sisters are.

Even if it's your husband, wife, brother, sister, mother, father, or anybody you love, particularly if you live under the same roof, it is natural to worry or feel some sort of stress if a loved one packs in his or her job and hasn't decided on what to do next.

Why do people think that you should no longer care about your children just because they're grown-up? It's not like my mum wants to run my brother's life for him. She just cares because he's family and she loves him.

Sometimes, parents just want to "wash their hands" of a kid once they reach adult age. "Not my responsibility," so to speak.

They feel they've had enough hassle raising kids, and that they deserve some peace and quiet as they get older.

Many parents, however, do not feel this way. I would actually say most don't.

Each homeless person on the street was once someone's child.

Each has a story to tell, but few listen, because they're "not our concern."

The average life expectancy of a homeless person in the UK is about 47 years.

My parents, especially my mom felt like that when I was living with them. My mom even told me that kids are supposed to move out 1ce their adults & no longer in skewl & their parents jobs as parents should be done instead of their 27 year-old still living with them because he's too damn lazy to get a job. I was doing my best to find a job but my disabilities really limit me. I'm aLOT happier living with my girlfriend than with my parents. I guess I can understand why they(she) felt that way but neither of them understood my disabilities & I think if they did I would of had better support & probably would be more successful now.

I'm glad you're out of that situation, Nick.

My mother was giving me the business starting when I was 18----not realizing that I actually wanted to leave even earlier!

Because fundamentally having children is selfish. So when they feel like the child becomes overly burdensome they feel like its not their fault. Most people have children so this selfish attitude persists.

I think some parents want their kids to get a job or move out by a certain age so it teaches them about responsibility, but those parents would still care, and if anything went wrong, they would be there for them and make sure they had what they needed, as well as letting them move back in.

People like you described usually seem to be people who never really wanted kids but had them anyway, and couldn't wait to "get rid of them" so they could go on holidays around the world and go on cruise ships, which are things they probably did without their kids when they still lived at home and were younger.

Thanx kraftiekortie
I wanted to leave since I was a kid. We did get along better after I graduated high-skewl thou but we still had lots of problems getting along.