The shame of living with parents as an adult

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Well, recently I moved out and rented an apartment. But, this happened at a very late age, and even though I did it in the past, I had to go back to the family's house(parents) a number of times because of financial difficulties.
There's always a shame of living with parents as an adult. No matter how much people tell me "it's okay to live with parents at any age, don't worry". I can't believe it. I mean, to an extent, it feels like I'm still in my childhood by doing this. I did it because I had no choice, I couldn't afford an apartment and the girlfriend dumped me, and... everything crashed, I had to go back to my parents, and they obviously have no problem with me staying with them, but I do.
I was wondering how prevalent this is in the United States. Since there are a lot of Americans on WrongPlanet Forums, I'd appreciate it very much if you can please reply here and share your story and how did you leave, or not leave, your family/parents home, and how much shame(or no shame altogether?) you felt about it.
To be honest, when you are expected to be in a certain situation, not even by society but by nature in generally - a child needs his parents, but an adult doesn't necessarily. I admit that having a certain type of autism can delay a person's move out of his parents home, but, is that a valid excuse to stay with parents long after you've turned 18?
You run out of excuses, atleast at some point. My financial difficulties are an excuse which I consider to be valid, but I still feel guilty for doing the wrong things and causing myself to end up this way. I realize this wont last forever and I will reach a more reasonable situation, but even then I'd still feel ashamed for not making the move a lot earlier than I could have. I'm so depressed about this sometimes, but then I realize I'm healthy and all and I still eat and sleep normally, and then I forget it. But the guilt never goes away, atleast not for me. Maybe for some people it does, though.

It wouldn't have been shameful for me if I had already been a normal, self-supporting woman and my parents needed me to come home in order to help them. What was shameful was being in my 40s and never doing much of anything, other than getting an education, that made me an adult. I felt like a high functioning mentally disabled person rather than a human being.

Would you honestly say, if you help your parents then its probably not a shame to sleep/live with them, whether temporarily or permanently?
What kind of help do you think I need to help my parents, in order to actually call it legitimate "help"?
Because things like just cleaning the house or laundry probably doesn't count...

I don't know, really. Whatever I do now, it could never really be enough. You would have to ask a more normal person my age.

In the UK it's becoming rather normal for adults to live with their parents all through their 20s, and it is even more normal for them to move back in with their parents if they split up with their partner.

Really? Do you have a lot of friends you know who have done that?
Did they tell you they feel embarassed because of it, or they are okay?


Okay. But the story you told in the beginning, was that a real thing or just an example of an average person wanting to live with his or her parents?
I was confused because I wasn't sure whether you're sharing a real story or just giving a vague, pointless example of a fictional situation.

Yes, my boyfriend has 8 nieces and nephews all in their 20s and 30s, and 4 of them have never moved out, and 2 of them did move out but then their relationships failed so they've moved back in with their parents again. And my cousins are NTs all in their 20s and 30s too, but most of them still with their parents. The UK financial system makes it so hard for average working-class people to move out these days. Even small council flats can be expensive. It's terrible.

I see. Well, it sounds indeed like renting an apartment in London is a very expensive thing.
Can you tell me, just so I understand things better. How much is the "average working-class" receiving per month, and how much is the price for apartment rental per month?
Because if the job salary is lower than the price you have to pay for apartment rent, obviously people might not have enough money to rent an apartment in your country.
If you can tell me in pounds how much people get from their job per month, and how much they need to pay for rent per month, that would give me a better idea.
Forget all other things like food, or electricity. I just want to know about the salary and the rent costs.
The situation in Israel can be different, especially if you live in the southern part of the country. Ever heard of Beer Sheva? You can rent a 5 room huge apartment for 500$ a month there, but the city is very bad.

If you help your parents, there’s no shame in living with them.

If you don’t help them, and act like an entitled jerk, then there is shame.

I tend to disagree with the first thing, you said.
Even if I help my parents, and they are happy with me living with them and there are no problems. There can still be a feeling of shame, because, after a certain age people expect you to rent a home/apartment at some point.
Therefore, a 15 years old child would probably never feel shame living with parents. But, a 30 years old adult definitely would feel shame.
You get what I'm saying?
And I think that shame never goes away, atleast for me. Even if I help my parents at home with a thousand things, and pay for all the bills, the feeling doesn't seem to go away. I'm telling you.
But, I guess that depends how you look at things, too.

I left home at 20, and never looked back.

It’s not as much of a stigma as it once was.

I wouldn’t feel “shame.” I would feel like I don’t want to live under my parents’ rules.

What’s preventing you from moving out?

Susan Boyle had millions...but she stayed with her parents until they passed away. She felt no shame.

Um, well, I'm not sure to be honest. It depends on what job they do and how many hours a week. But I do know that the average rent for an apartment is around 700 or 800 pounds a month. Some are a thousand.

I am no good with numbers.

What is the most important point is to try to make the best of whatever situation you find yourself in.

This has happened to me occasionally and for me it was a combination of shame and terror because they aren't particularly great at dealing with me and I don't agree with their parenting decisions when I was a child and they are equally as intrusive and obnoxious as ever.

At this point, if finances ever get bad again I would plan to move to a cheap part of the country, purchase a small mobile trailer and live in an RV park for as cheap possible.

It was less shame than it was feeling trapped with the humans that did a pretty bad job at helping my brain type navigate this world.

I’m living with my parents so I can save money for a deposit to buy a property. Since I live in London and property prices are so high, I probably won’t be in a position to buy for at least another couple of years. Hopefully, I’ll have my own place before I hit middle age. As much as I love my parents, I don’t want to still be living with them when I’m 40!

I don’t feel particularly ashamed that I still live with my parents. I help with preparing meals. I clean our home. I wash and iron my own clothes. I buy most of my food and drink. I’m certainly not a freeloader. I’m lucky that I get on really well with my folks. At least I have a secure place to live and I can stay with them until I’m finally able to live on my own.

I'm glad to see 2 people even older than me living with their parents. Why I'm glad? Because I thought my situation is very rare.
I lived in a rented apartment a for about half a year, and had to move back to my parents home. I didnt have enough money and I was fired from my job. Also, even if I would say, I still had enough money for paying for rent, I would be living in a very unpleasant situation if I were to stay alone in the rented apartment.
I went back to stay in my parents home not because I'm a lazy person, but because I didnt have the money to live alone, and all my girlfriends were not serious enough to want to live with me together.
So, to be honest, a romantic relationship can make a very significant impact on whether you'll live with your parents as an adult or not.
If you find a serious girlfriend/boyfriend fast, you can live with them and financial difficulties will be much lower because you both pay for things.
2 salaries, not just 1 salary.
You get what I'm saying?
Although, I never really learned whether a spouse pays for things too or only the man needs to pay and the woman doesnt.