Making someone happy
Sometimes people tell me something that I dont really care about, or interested in it, but I still show signs of interest and say "oh nice, sounds interesting" or I just throw a compliment just so they would realize I am listening and am somewhat interested, even though I'm not.
I do this because, if I dont do it people would think I'm disrespecting them by not showing interest in what they have to say.
The question I have always kinda asked myself a lot of times, is, do I really have to make sure someone is happy and is this the only way to do so, by pretending to be interested in what they have to say? Or there could be other ways to do it too?
If there are other ways, please tell me, It'd be nice to learn new ways to make other people happy, including friends.
Thank you
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Being different is very normal.
If you have a diagnosis for ASP, perhaps you can explain to them that the reason why you can talk about your self and own interests is due to the complex neurological condition that you suffer from, which does cause such behaviours in the sufferers.
There are various theories as to how people with ASD experience the world including one called "the intense world" theory. This i feel does sum up experience from an ASD sufferer fairly well, although some of the other psychologists contest the theory.
With regards to your friends who may notice your lack of interest and self obsessions, perhaps you could explain to them after explaining about your condition that you value them as a friend and that you don't mean to look despondent and that you will try your best to actively listen but there may be times where you may find that a challenge as you are prone to drift off into your own world, and focus on either your thoughts or the world around you.
Of course giving compliments is often welcomed, however i find it sometimes a bit contrived if we try too hard.
But hey, you can always try to drop in a few compliments if you can, but don't overdo it as it may freak them out or they may get the impression that you are being sarcastic even when you are not.
Otherwise, buying thoughtful presents are usually welcome. People generally like generous people.
Be careful that people don't start using you as a free stuff person, i.e the person who gives out free stuff.
As that has happened to me before, when a number of douche bags realise that i am generous by nature.
Some people will exploit you for that. Shamefully. so. Like i say, some are douche bags.
Just try and pick and choose, find genuine friends.
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