[Minor Rant] Nobody Really Wants Advice.

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So ... I'm a member of a committee that is trying to figure out why church attendance is declining. Each person on this committee is drawn from each of the other committees. Each one has his or her own agenda...

"We need an elevator." (Building Committee)

"The media system is ancient." (Technical Committee)

"Our choir robes are frumpy." (Music Committee)

"The stripes in the parking lot need repainting." (Grounds Committee)

"The new hymnals aren't like the old ones." (Worship Committee)

"Our kitchen needs new appliances." (Deacons)

"How about if we adapt our services and activities to meet the needs of the community around us?" (Me)

<* Sound of Crickets *>

"We can play Praise & Worship songs in the elevator!"

"Live-stream the 10:00 service ... just don't show the empty pews!"

"Have the choir wear matching Hawaiian shirts!"

"Valet parking, just like the Bel-Air church!"

"Re-write the hymns and hire a rock band to play them!"

"My sister-in-law runs a restaurant-supply business; she can get us a discount!"

"Most of the people in this community don't speak English; can we add some non-English services and activities?"

<* More Sound of Crickets *>

"What color should we paint the elevator?"

... et cetera ...

Now, this is not so much a rant against the church (there is a separate forum for that). This is a rant against the short-sightedness of people seeking solutions to their problems.

Problem: Homelessness.
Solution: Provide low-income (or no-income) housing.
What's actually being done: Blame the politicians, blame Big Business, blame the wealthy, blame the homeless, et cetera.

Problem: School Bullies.
Solution: Separate the bullies from the rest of the students on the first offense.
What's actually being done: Blame the teachers, blame the parents, blame the Media, blame the victims, et cetera.

Problem: Anti-Vaxx Movement.
Solution: Make vaccinations mandatory under law, with no exemptions for religious reasons.
What's actually being done: Fake news, fake exemptions, fake science, fake experts, et cetera.

I could go on.

The point is that people seem adverse to actually doing something about their problems, and feel little or no need to actually implementing workable solutions -- they are more involved in the drama of the situation than in resolving it. Now, you may disagree with the solutions to the examples I've given, but that only serves to prove my point -- drama is exciting, and without problems to get excited about, life is boring.

People are more interested in the drama a problem stirs up than in the problem itself. Who else feels this way?

Let me take a seat and join you in your minor rant.
My take on the drama addiction is that its the path of least resistance.
Also the people who engage in these created dramas have all their basic needs met already, maybe even more than basic needs... people with significant challenges dont generally have the time or energy for said drama. Drama to me signals a detachment from reality and a taking for granted of random good fortune.
The rise of individualism in a nutshell. Me me me me me me me... oops did I forget to mention I I I I I I ?

I think you nailed it, right there. It is much easier to take on the appearance of action than to take any action at all.

Increase church attendance? Serve Krispy Kreme doughnuts and Starbucks coffee.

Yup I've been guilty of it too, mostly in adolescence, but actual necessity irons out the drama creases.
Your committee are not invested enough in the church community and its place in the wider physical community, too many individual 'wants' going on.
Easier to deal with these surface issues, than the real one. Fear or greed dressed up in a dramatic way could motivate them to pull together, perhaps both...

Attendance is declining because its declining everywhere, our community is under threat, our way of life is under threat, the community network of business will have less support as a result, revenue will be down and we will need you to donate more money and time, please sign the forms indicating the timeslots you will donate to... the church could close.... the local community and its economy will suffer.
(Forgive my cynical outlook.)

An actual drama to get all fizzled up about... the help you get will be just as effective, but at least energies will be directed towards the bigger picture.

Tried that. People complained. Served Hostess Donuts and Folger's Instant. People happy.

Hmm ... seems as if we attend the same church ...

I feel this way especially on Facebook. Petitions and actively trying to change rules, fair enough. Really lame jokes just having a go at politicians, no thanks. It's why I find politics so boring, it's just a bitching match.

I get fed up on here when people think I'm trying to be mean when I offer advice. I hate it that just because someone is a certain sex, they get all the sympathy in the world and people here lie about it and anyone who disagrees is a b***h/bastard.

As for RL, yeh, I relate to the church situation and peoples' lack of imagination. I mean, real lack. Not saying they are bad people at all. Just I get fed up with people not seeing anything that is obvious to me. Emotions and zero analytical skills mean nothing much changes. Not even saying I'm that analytical. People are very rigid. People are arrogant and quick to disbelieve, and quick to remain exactly the same.

I think the reason they probably weren't listening to you was because your suggestions weren't straight forward answers i.e. notice how their answers were more like answers - theirs were practical, quick and easy to do. Yours involved thinking of more questions to answer, rather than providing straight forward practical answers. I'm not saying your suggestions weren't practical, but the silence was likely because it meant more problems to solve (for them) rather than fixes. I suggest in future saying something like, "I can write signs for non-English speakers to invite them in and start a group labeled X to bring them together".

... and completely irrelevant to the original question -- sorta like re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.No point in such signs if there are no non-English programs and services already in place. Yes, my suggestions involve answering more questions, but at least they weren't lipstick on a pig.

I am alone in this world.

Oh, no you're not! I appreciate your input. It helps me see the other side of the issue a little better. No worries, okay?

Steaming the service would make attendance worse instead of actually helping it. People would watch the service online or whatever instead of going to it.

I also notice people tend not to like advice. Sometimes people rather complain & do the blame game instead of facing the hard truths as to what their problems are. Noone wants to admit they're wrong & complaining & playing the blame game is easier than putting in the hard work that would actually help correct the problems.

I've been accused of complaining & not accepting advice when I was ranting about my problems. Ranting about my problems helps me get things out of my system so I can feel alittle better. It also helps me analyze things & sort things out. Sometimes arguing with someone is really my way of debating & trying to analyze & figure something out. But others just interpret that as me wanting to disagree with everyone & everything & accuse me of not listening. I also feel others don't understand me & my situation & my so-called arguing is really my way of trying to explain things so I can get better advice more tailored to my unique situation.

Some people complain to attract attention.
Others complain to be comforted.
Still others complain to trigger solutions.

The difficulty is in determining which is which.

(I'm a solution-seeker myself.)

People only care about issues when it starts to impact on them.
I've seen this happen here, ok it's way more rural, but thats also what made it a tight knit community at a different point in time. People depended on eachother because they had to, the dramas were real and often not in a positive way.
The church was the focal point. Slowly as the standard of living increased so too did the hierarchy opportunities, the people who had the potential to be pillars in a real sense became so fixated on image that they failed to notice when our government started centralising resources away from rural areas.Thats been a real kicker for them... attendance in church is way down, they have to donate more to keep the church open, their properties have decreased in value even more due to a lack of local amenities. I'm not even mentioning the RC scandals as a massive reason for the decline, the hypocrisy is unbearable. I could go on and on but in fairness I've recently learned to start writing people off, so I'll wrap it up there.

For the luv of god,
Please don't!



Rather than all the drama,
May I suggest you move to another area?
Problem...solved.