Santa

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My belief in Santa peaked at around age 5 or 6, when during one Christmas I made a distinctive effort to hide under my bed covers to the point of not even glancing out slightly. Nowadays Christmas can be vaguely boring, but I do enjoy the food.

Sadly Toys R us store chains are going under, so goes the belief in Santa.
Think i believed till about 5, but did not ever give up my beliefs .
And still want to move to the Artic . ( north pole) , ? Could be neighbors.?
We all have our own gawds ? Or the right to believe in gawds of our choice.

I'm a Christian too, I'm just not very religious.

I believed...but I had my doubts. However, I dismissed them for the most part. My logic was "Hmm, there are parts to this which don't seem to make much sense, but then again I am a moron so I'm probably just missing something".

When I was younger, I rarely trusted my own judgement. If I came to a conclusion that differed from the popular consensus, I would dismiss it and try to understand where everyone else was coming from. My lack of belief in myself led to me incorrectly assuming that my elders were always wiser and less likely to be misguided, since they had much more life experience than I. This was quite conflicting when the adults in my life had differing viewpoints from each other.

So I'd try to pick fault with any doubts I had, and come up with possible explanations for anything that didn't seem to quite add up. However, there were certainly times where I struggled to convince myself of his existence. Sometimes that doubt was prompted by big questions (How could he possibly travel so far in such a short amount of time? Surely he can't eat that many mince pies, maybe he's polite and wastes most of the offerings...in which case, what does he do with them? If he takes home the food he doesn't eat, how does he effectively store it? Also, how does he secure the presents when travelling at such a speed? Does magic truly exist, if so is it merely something which isn't fully understood yet? What kind of magic is involved to make the deer fly? Is there a runway beforehand, if so- how big is it? Also, what kind of speed must they run at to get to a gallop that would lend well to the magic?)

However, it was also brought on by smaller things. I remember walking into my old living room on Christmas, and I noticed that the mince pie plate had moved to a small table in front of the sofa. Next to the seats where my parents would often sit. I considered the position of the plate and suspected that one of them (unless they split it) had eaten the pie. A thought crossed my mind that perhaps parents were responsible for bringing the gifts rather than Santa, but I dismissed it. No, that can't be right. I'm never right, and if I am...well, that's a bit disappointing and awfully confusing as to why people told us otherwise.

My sister decided to be the one to prove that Santa didn't exist to me. One Christmas she told me to stay up and watch our parents' room. So I did. My room was just down the corridor, I left my door slightly ajar and pretended to be asleep. I saw my parents drag out the presents in their room. Whilst I was disheartened by this revelation, I wasn't entirely surprised since I'd had my suspicions. All the pieces were there, I was just in denial and refused to put them together. Focusing instead on trying to prove that nagging ever-looming doubt in my mind wrong.

It heavily conflicted with my worldview, since I saw myself as someone who was always wrong and too foolish to ever understand things without merely following the lead of others. Yet here I was, suddenly confronting the pieces I'd been ignoring for so long. I was actually right about something for once. This made me wonder what else people had lied about, and I realised that perhaps I shouldn't always dismiss my conclusions.

So I began to gain confidence. I started questioning things more and rebelling against authority figures if I believed that they were incorrect. My goal was to start a conversation, I no longer wanted to just memorise information...I wanted to come up with new solutions and actually understand what I was learning. This got me labelled as cocky, disrespectful, and a bit of a troublemaker. I had initially been interested in learning, but unfortunately due to bad experiences with teachers and school counsellors alike my self-confidence had been whittled away to a stub. This cut away at my desire to fully engage with the learning material until I became almost entirely disengaged. When I started to believe in myself once more, the curiosity that made me want to truly learn was once more brought to life.

I then went through a phase where I would stubbornly refuse to admit whenever I was wrong. Now I've learnt to acknowledge my mistakes but not let them drag me down too much, and work on improvement.

My parents decided to tell my brother and I when I was 14 (My brother was 11). I didn't believe them and continued believing until I was 16!
Yes, we had worked it out that it was my Dad using the red bedspread and cotton wool when I was about 12, as my Dad and my Mum had got the giggles! But as when I asked my Mum about it and she said sometimes sa ta had allowed my Dad to do it when he was busy... (Or some sort of story like that) I just took it in.
I was known for being a little gullable right until my early 20's as I had not much experience of life as I tended to close myself off in a world of model trains! Always have done, even if it is in thought only.
When I was 18 another brother arrived. It was when my parents told us that my Mum was pregnant that it first dawned on me that my parents had had sex. I was absolutly discusted with them and hardly spoke to them for several days! My youngest brother was so bright and intelligent from an early age that there was no way my Dad could do santa! He would have seen straight throught it from the age of 2 onwards. He never did a bit of revision and got top grades leaving school. He did one year in college and pulled out. He saw straight through the way the education system was set up to recieve money. He didn't want to know from that time onwards. You can't pretend with him. He sees straight through it. He also has the amazing ability to impersonate people but is stage shy. He reads people and all their little quirks and sayings. He iften does me and I am like "Am I really like that?" and everyone says "Yes!" Haha!

AUGH......... Naivete ............ awe crap, the great nemisis of the aspie mind
Especially through childhood .
Wants Santa back please ?
Spent much time mimicking cat sounds, polite ones only. Or threats .
Mimicked jimmy durante , cause i like his mannerisms , gave up on doing doris day. Had taken forever , to install filters on belief, but after so much mismatch of seeing things versus being told.AUGH . noticed physical things were reproducable and less prone to fabrications . Normal circumstances , with exception of music, anything , i bonded with or enjoyed physically growing up till about 17 yrs was taken away from me. Consistently .By family. Weirdly enough they left me a refrigerator box, till it died a natural death. And a blankie.
My poor worn out down pillow , was removed from my life as well , when young

Are you saying that the gullability I had could be an aspie trait?

I did have to proveor dissprove things as I went on in life, so santa, the tooth fairy and things like that went out. One thing I did prove to myself without doubt was that God exists. With this, it was the opposite for me, in that I went from not really knowing, to knowing 100% that He exists through a series of events that took place in my life both during my teenage years and into adulthood. I am not a religious type of person in that I will not follow tradition... But rather I look for the relationship. It has to be real for me. You can under
stand why I started to do all my own research about everything I was taught through my schooling and childhood years to prove for myself what is true and what is ot true. About 20 years ago, I proved to myself that the Bible is true. I can't really explain things to others, but I knew it is true when I started to question.

For me, I am gullable until I decide to do my own research. I have to spend hours and hours in deep thinking before I come up with a conclusion. This thinking has sometimes taken me years on a single subject. I am gullable, because if someone I trust tells me something as a prank, everyone else will laugh as they see through it, but I will tend to believe it. (Or I used to before I learnt to question and research everything for myself).
I still get caught out. Several years ago I reached some major difficulties where I ended up handing in my notice because a certain staff member who didn't like me kept giving me orders, and I ended up working almost double shifts daily for five years without being paid any overtime. I habe been taken advantage of in so many jobs by so many people. Not all people. Just the bullies. And my issue is that I don't realize I have been taken advantage of until much later. Sometimes years later. People I assumed to be work collegues... I never knew the odd one or two were being hostile to me and taking advantage.