Being called a pedophile

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I am 30 years old and last night I was walking home from the bar drunk.
This young girl who I’d estimate is 18 or in her early 20s started talking too me randomly and her male friends said “don’t talk too him he’s a pedophile”

Do you think maybe they were just joking around or being serious?


I have got quite long hair which actually can actually fit the profile of a male pedophile

Don't worry. Many are dressed in smart suits with short hair and drive posh cars. So don't panic. They come in all shapes and sizes. Women. Men. The lot. So don't take it to heart.

Being called a pedophile is awful though. Not the first time either my friends have also called me a pedo before.

Most likely whatever he said and whatever outward resemblance it had was purely blind chance (this is assuming you weren't sizing her up through the conversation).

People snipe at each other, try to set social boundaries, exclude, and plenty of that is built on power plays - like accusations - where honesty in those appraisals isn't required. If he was out with a girl he liked and she seemed to be interested in you that's enough for him to take an underhanded shot at you if he sees you as a competitive rival.

What do you mean sizing her up?

I mean if you were staring her body up and down you probably wouldn't have written this post because the context would make too much sense, ie. you'd be showing some non-verbal degree of sexual intent.

I posted this same question on yahoo answers and here’s the response I got

“Nowadays because girls hit puberty as young as 8/9, when they are 12/13 they look a lot older than what their actual age is, some 13 year olds look as old as late teens. Its quite possible, that she was a lot younger than you thought she was, and her friend was looking out for her.“

Quite possible if that was the case. What's getting me though is it sounds like she initiated the conversation though, almost like she was checking you out a bit. If that's the case, and if he was something like a beta orbiter, he would go for whatever insult or projection that would seem credible in the situation in order to break the connection.

Obviously you're 30, even if she was 18 or 20 you probably wouldn't have been interested (at least at that point the cognitive/psychological gap of relatability is pretty big), so I'm not saying you missed an opportunity but I would say there's good likelihood that the comment from her guy friend was much more self-serving unless of course it wasn't her friend but her brother, in which case that's familial protection.

Maybe They have a crush on her and you were talking to there crush so they tried to rule you out with the pedophile comment

I miss many chances with women because of anxiety levels/social awkwardness.

Meh I am 30 now so my time is running out too meet and date women

I'm going to be 40 on Tuesday (yay me!) and I run into women I'd actually want to date so rarely that the odds of actually finding them single or available in other ways is almost lost.

It's not so much being judgmental as much as if you have an outlying personality very few people who aren't outliers themselves would want you (they're already as rare as you are in that case) and then there's a big trap where if someone likes very shallow things about you but can't see you there's a really good chance they'll turn petty tyrant on you, need to dominate anything they don't understand, and all too often - at least among late gen x'ers - it was a thing where women would love bomb and marry guys all under the unspoken guise that they could mold him into whatever they wanted him to be later, messy divorces were the result when that assumption proved to be naive.

So yes, the complete lack of self-awareness most people have makes dating for anyone whose not just as clueless quite terrifying.

On Autistic Forums someone asked "what connection, if any, is there between cartooning and pedophillia?"
As someone who's been cartooning her whole life, I was very hurt by this, and said I'm pedophobic, which is the total opposite and If I ever, heaven forbid, harmed someone else's child, it would be only because the little bugger wouldn't stop @#%&ing me off!

just work your way up to it by asking different people for time or directions or good restaurant etc

Or when you end up in a conversation offer genuine compliments!

I think some people just like to use it like an insult, in the same way as "gay", "ret*d" etc. are used. Pretty sure that if they actually thought you were one, they would've just gotten away as fast as they could, taking their friend with them without bothering to say anything that might turn you agressive. But yeah, if the girl was actually younger than you think she was, then that would explain a bit of the reaction.

Maybe they were drunk as well.


I sometimes worry that people think I'm a paedophile. I mean I love my 2-year-old niece. I don't see her often but I usually like most pictures her parents put of her on Facebook, and for her birthday I brought her a pretty dress, and I call her beautiful. I suppose it is natural to feel and express love for your young relatives but I just feel self-conscious too.

Don't worry - I am NOT a paedophile. I love my little niece but in general I hate small kids.

Last edited by Joe90 on 18 Nov 2019, 4:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.