[ POLL ] What Constitutes Bullying?
It seems that, depending on the person asked, bullying can be defined as something obvious like physical and verbal abuse, down to something as benign as walking away from a bad relationship. What are your thoughts?
You may select any or all options in the poll, and you may change your selections at any time.
Thank you.
ASPartOfMe
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Behavioral
Physical
Verbal
Written
Other - Gaslighting, cyberattacking
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dragonsanddemons
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All of the above except penalizing can be forms of bullying. What's the determining factor for me is intent. If the intent is to upset someone in some way, that's bullying. If someone asks you not to do something and there isn't any reason you can't comply (for example, continuing to stim in some way after someone has asked you to stop is acceptable if you explain why you can't, but continuing to correct someone's grammar while they're speaking after the person has asked you not to, that isn't), that can also be bullying because once someone has asked you to stop, you know they don't like it, so not making any effort not to do it to/around them(and of course doing it more on purpose, as some people do ) could be seen as deliberately bothering them, which would count as bullying. But then things like teasing among friends, where the person doing the teasing is not intending to hurt the recipient, is not bullying (though if the recipient tells the teaser that they don't like it and they continue to do it, that is). If someone accidentally annoys or hurts someone else, that is not bullying, that is an honest mistake. It only becomes bullying if the person knows what effect their action had and does not apologize or try not to make the same mistake again.
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nick007
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However as a kid I was bullied alot & the teachers usually said how the bullies were just joking & I took things personally that weren't meant to be. & I was accused of bullying when I retaliated or accidentally did or said something the wrong way or when I was joking around. I don't know how the f#ck bullying is defined except that bullies sometimes don't get called on their sh!t but the people retaliating against them get the bully label. The definition is all relative depending on the person's social status.
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Pretty much all of that (though I think there were a few words I didn't understand) under the right circumstances. That's why I voted for other.
Correcting someone's grammar for examble is often very called for, especially if you can't tell what they're trying to say because their grammar is so bad, but pointing out every missing dot and such all the time even though the text is understandable can be counted as bullying. But of course, some people consider pointing out even one grammar mistake as bullying, and there's no way that's fair, unless the mistake is pointed out in a clearly insulting way, like saying: "The word "grammar" has two M's, idiot!"
As for expressing one's own opinion, it can be considered bullying depending on the place you express it in. If there's a group named "We love cats!" then you shouldn't join it and tell about how you hate cats. Yes, you have the right to your opinion, but the place is specifically for people who like cats, so it's impolite to bring up an opposing opinion.
Depending on context & circumstances all of them could be used as a means to bully. For instance, even penalizing could be bullying in cases where the penalty is excessive and or is being issued by someone with prejudice.
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"Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world."
* BUMP *
Please note the current poll results.
For instance, only one person checked "Disagreement - differences of opinion, whether back up by valid facts or not" as a form of bullying.
Does that mean -- for the sake of only one person -- we should all avoid stating anything that might conflict with something someone else has already stated?
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Your sense of humor definitely rings a bell.
So you really believe it's a good choice to openly break rules of a community you feel connected to, for the sake of... what? Bullying someone you believe to be a covert bully?
Fight evil with more evil?
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Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
The term "Covert Bully" is like the term "Undiagnosed Aspie" -- in the same way that a person is not entitled to claim to be an "aspie" if they have never been diagnosed as such, you cannot know that someone is a bully if their alleged bullying cannot be shown to have happened.
"Covert" means not openly shown, engaged in, or avowed. Thus, if an alleged act of bullying cannot be shown to have happened, then the most likely reason is not that the alleged act of bullying was performed "covertly", but that the alleged act of bullying never really happened!
Presenting contrary opinions does not constitute bullying. Correcting someone's mistakes, false data, or misplaced beliefs does not constitute bullying. Refusing to blindly accept another person's unsupported claims does not constitute bullying. Asking another person for evidence to support their claims does not constitute bullying. Posting factual evidence that outright refutes or dismisses another person's false claims does not constitute bullying.
What seems to constitute bullying in the minds of certain individuals is being caught and called out for posting claims that simply cannot be supported in any way other than "I believe it to be true" or even "I read it somewhere on the Internet"; and what seems to drive some people toward accusing others of bullying is that their desire to be believed is greater than their desire to be correct.
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and you keep doing it
And yes I am no better for this type of behaviour - sue me
Would it then be okay if I started to bully you?
Just a hypothetical question.
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Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>
Just a hypothetical question.
and you keep doing it
And yes I am no better for this type of behaviour - sue me
Would it then be okay if I started to bully you?
Just a hypothetical question.
bully the bully who is bullying the bully ?
Are you hypothetically asking for my permission ?
Or are you asking if I would be OK about being bullied ?
Or are you trying to point out again that fighting evil with evil is not the way to go ?
recently an israeli made an account here to tell me my hebrew was s**t and never posted again. that was the first thing i have read on here in years that really got to me. everything else i can shrug off.
i wanted to tell him to suck it and ask "how well did YOU learn your 4th language" (or 3rd of 5th, depending on how and what you count) but cooler heads prevailed in the end
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