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Give it a swear box.

Do you like the Muppets?

I like them as mittens instead.



How does one get over a hangover quickly?

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Go back to the 1700's and commit treason.

Are cats evil?

Cats don't exist but they are culture figures representing the idea of unevil.

What's a lagoon?

Historically, "Lagoons" were mercenaries from the Los Angeles area who fought in many wars across Europe and South America in the 18th and 19th centuries. They had a fearsome reputation.

What is butterscotch?

The perfect tool for transcripting the messages from the dead.



Are you for hire?

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I'm dire to be in the fire from a mire. Or something like this.

Is it raining?

Raining bricks -- yes.
Please bring a helmet when going outside.



Half glass full or half glass empty?

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It depends how drunk you are.

Is gangrene edible?

It's considered delicacy in Gangnam.

Do fish fly?

Yes, they all do except for "flying fish".

What exactly is this "interest" they keep mentioning on my bank statement?

Human interest - it is the common drama of watching your money grow by less than two percent when the fees are much much more. Film at 11. (Cannot wait to see if I get voted off the island this time)


Is it really true that sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don't?

Hazel nut, to be precise. That's because I spend most of my time hanging on a tree in a tiny wooden shell.

Coffee or tea?

Eggs. Scrambled -- fried stirred.


Do you aim for the stars?

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Sure, I can add some to the scrambled eggs.

Salt or pepper?

... Ketchup.



Now it's my turn: coffee or tea?

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