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You trade a dollar for a candy bar back and forth with one other person a trillion times.

Why isn't Turkish the language of Turkeys?

The language of turkeys is called Gobbledygook because it consists entirely of the word gobble. The country of Turkey was named much later without approval from the turkeys, and is currently being sued by the International Association of Turkeys (or Gobgobble Gobgok gob Gobgobbledygobble) for stealing their name.

How can I grow a third arm?

try a vacuum pump.

how can i grow a fourth arm?

You already have 4 arms.

5 in most males, maybe up to 6 in special cases depending on how many appendages you're born with.

Just convert your legs into arms, easy 2 new arms.



Why can't humans just evolved to move and remain on all fours like most animals do?

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Humans were banned from walking on all fours after the atrocities we committed as mercenaries in the Hedgehog Wars. Strictly speaking, any baby crawling on the floor can be arrested and eaten by the Beast Police.

Why am I so tired all the time?

You're an entity animating a plastic toy without an engine and a gas tank for a body, your free trial license is about to expire and your batteries ain't batteries.

Consult your nearest 38th century mechanical surgeon for energy implants before possessing expired animated objects.



Why is this smiley; laughing and moving at all?

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It's not laughing. It has a severe case of hiccoughs...and I don't find it emotionally moving at all!

Why is the weather so warm and humid?!

The atmosphere is using a very old heating system and it seems to have malfunctioned. They're looking into the problem but most likely they'll have to install a new system, which will take several years.

What's the most dangerous animal and why?

psychopathic humans, and that is a correct answer. saint teresa is the wrong answer.

why don't GOPers want most of us to vote?

Because they soil themselves in their sleep.

Why do the Americans win all the gold medals?

Because the competition takes horse tranquilizers before every event.

Why do we all have to wear these ridiculous ties?

To keep our necks from exploding.

My water bottle is leaking. What should I do?

Take a hot shower

Why is Great Britain so great at sports?

Because when they lose they invent two new ones?
(I'm allowed to say that... I have a British passport)


You are asked to move a pile of sand from here to over there.
What implement have you chosen?

When given this personality test I responded (a baseball bat)

I will walk through the sand. It will all stick to me, and no matter how many showers I take, it will remain stuck to me for the rest of my life. Then I will be buried "over there", and so will the sand.

My cat has figured out how to open doors. How do I keep her from getting out?

Block every entrance and exit with a wooden armoire. Possibly any drawers and cabinets, to be extra safe.


What adventures are to be had?

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Neurofibromatosis Type II (NF2)

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