Always treated this way around women?

Post Reply New Topic

In everyday life and social situations when I am hanging around women for example other males can get agressive towards me and say things like "give up your seat for the lady etc"

Is this behaviour towards me normal or not?

Completely normal.

It's hardly equal treatment though is it?

Do those “aggressive males” “give up their seat for the lady?”

Anyway.....there are ladies who would chafe at being offered a seat on a train by a man. Not many....but it does happen.

Maybe I come across as rude in some way? Whenever I am with a woman in social situations I am always at the bottom of the pecking order.

Why should there be equal treatment?
They want to impress the ladies.
They want to make you feel inferior.
It's a win-win situation for them.

Unless you're being blatantly inconsiderate or creepy, in which case they could have a point, but whatever, I can't see how you behave around women to make a judgement call there.

Listen just because someone is creepy it's no excuse to be hostile to them.

How do the women react to you?

Women can be nice to me other times maybe not so nice.

It's a bit like having good and bad days really. I have been criticized by some girls before for not talking to them.

Sexist but normal sexism.

Not ok.

Tell them that men shouldn't be stigmatised by patriarchy either.

Give up your seat if she's pregnant or if a trans guy/nb person is pregnant, if someone says they're disabled or if someone's visibly elderly and struggling. This stuff should be obvious cos the person will be wobbling about.

Don't give up your seat to young/middle aged women just cos, that's sexist and pathetic. Ladies are in trousers most of the time anyway or short/medium length skirts. It's not like they're wobbling round in hoop skirts anymore.

I'm dyspraxic and look young for my age and people expect me to give up my seat to a grown up. I refuse cos they're probably less disabled than me and if not they wouldn't say 'for a grown up' as an excuse they'd say 'cos I'm arthritic'.

It's normal in some places and cultures, and in those places it's probably considered acceptable. If it's a cultural thing in your area, there isn't much you can do about it, but if it's a thing that just some specific groups (some religions or something) do, then find other people to hang out with who don't belong to those groups if you don't like it. Or well, you could try to defend yourself and argue why you should do that, but the former option is likely easier.



Very likely since you're (judging from the fact that you're a member here and haven't stated otherwise) on the autism spectrum. I too tend to be at the bottom of the pecking order in social situations, regardless if the people around me are men, fellow women or both. Something about us probably just gives off a bad vibe. Body language, the lack of it, wrong tone of voice, wrong kind of eye contact, the combination of all of those or perhaps something else.



Depends on your definition of hostile. Someone being creepy is no excuse to call them names or anything, but it is a reason to avoid them, for if someone comes off as creepy, that often tends to also mean dangerous. Not all people one considers creepy are that of course, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

I haven’t witnessed chivalry for a very long time

Does chivalry still exist? Is there actual gentleman left in the world? Seriously I haven’t witnessed it

Haha. I have to laugh because I was waiting to meet a lady from this site who found herself in this area and I was meeting her to drive her to show her the nice places. I started nurvously talking to her and went to open the door for her to get in my car. She looked puzzled... Well. Just as I was wondering why she seemed puzzled. (I was thinking to myself "Look. I am holding the car door open for you. Why aren't you getting in?").
Then I looked up at another lady walking towards me and I realized rather embarissingly that she was the wrong lady and the one walking towards me was the one I was supposed to be taking to look round the area. Luckily the right lady knew I can get those prosopragnosia moments and thought it was funny, and the other lady then realized what had happened and why a random stranger expected her to go into his car! Oops!

I use old fashioned chivalry towards everyone.

That way you can't be accused of rudeness or sexism.

I think it is very rude indeed that some people will shut the door in someone's face and not hold the door open for them! Even if it's a man, no excuse. Only excuse is if the door is too heavy for you because you are disabled! And then they should help you instead.

I do think that taking someone's coat requires spoken language though! My coat is my protective garment. I take it off when I am ready to and in my own time and nobody is allowed to take it off me. Ask first!

Oh no!

Honestly, this makes me glad that I'm always very careful if I'm not completely sure that someone is who I think they are. I've been in many embarrassing situations, but none of them could top that.