Are hobbies the reason we are still single ?

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chris1989
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01 Jan 2022, 12:58 pm

I remember some comments about that woman from some people were like ''Oh, how pathetic'' and ''People need to grow up'' etc. I don't understand why some people are perceived to be weirdos if they still like stuff they loved as kids, or dress in fashion they liked when they were younger. I feel like I work amongst colleagues like that I mean my assistant manager is in his late 50s and likes comics and stuff and has never married and lives on his own and so does my supervisor who is nearly 50 and likes to dress up in and stuff and is not married.



xxZeromancerlovexx
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01 Jan 2022, 1:43 pm

chris1989 wrote:
I remember some comments about that woman from some people were like ''Oh, how pathetic'' and ''People need to grow up'' etc. I don't understand why some people are perceived to be weirdos if they still like stuff they loved as kids, or dress in fashion they liked when they were younger. I feel like I work amongst colleagues like that I mean my assistant manager is in his late 50s and likes comics and stuff and has never married and lives on his own and so does my supervisor who is nearly 50 and likes to dress up in and stuff and is not married.


I think people who call other people’s hobbies, interests and how they choose to dress pathetic are the ones who are pathetic.

Was this woman in the news or something?


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Nades
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01 Jan 2022, 2:04 pm

Well back to hobbies. It's true that many aspies have unusual hobbies and if it's a hobby associated by the general public as being child like then yes, it could cause some issues.

Hobbies vary a lot for people with autism but it's important to remember that they need to be reigned in if it's a hobby like collecting baby dummies ​example.

There are some hobbies that need to be kept to oneself and not be made into a public spectacle. If I see an aspie walking down the street with a dummy in his mouth I'll probably walk the other way



chris1989
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01 Jan 2022, 3:03 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
chris1989 wrote:
I remember some comments about that woman from some people were like ''Oh, how pathetic'' and ''People need to grow up'' etc. I don't understand why some people are perceived to be weirdos if they still like stuff they loved as kids, or dress in fashion they liked when they were younger. I feel like I work amongst colleagues like that I mean my assistant manager is in his late 50s and likes comics and stuff and has never married and lives on his own and so does my supervisor who is nearly 50 and likes to dress up in and stuff and is not married.


I think people who call other people’s hobbies, interests and how they choose to dress pathetic are the ones who are pathetic.

Was this woman in the news or something?


She was being interviewed on a morning TV show discussing whether its good or not to still sleep with a teddy bear.



funeralxempire
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01 Jan 2022, 3:12 pm

Guys, I'm gonna drop the best piece of romantic advice you'll hear all year:



You'll thank me latter. 8)


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01 Jan 2022, 3:40 pm

theprisoner wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
There's a reason alcohol is called "liquid courage." Nothing wrong with a drink or two before a date/night out/public speaking etc. A little social lubricant goes a long way.

Oh cool. But I' don't feel i should risk liver failure, just to feel at home in the social world. What's worse, autism or alcoholism? But yeah, that is true, booze = gregariousness, extroversion.It's always done that to me.


Gregariousness and puking. These are my hallmarks.



HighLlama
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01 Jan 2022, 3:42 pm

chris1989 wrote:
The trouble is with someone like me I feel I get so interested in doing something such as trying to write a book or reading something I'm really into that I've even wondered maybe this is a reason why I am single. I seem to think its perceived by others as being weird. I remember this adult lady who was obsessed with teddy bears and would go to sleep with one and I don't think she had autism or aspergers, and remember the interviewer asking her ''Well, do you think this is a reason why you are still single ?'' There are times when I enjoy being single but I also seem to envy couples in a busy public or social environment especially if there is someone very attractive and it looks like they are already with someone. It does make me think ''Well, this explains why I haven't met someone yet because I won't go to a pub, or a bar or have close friends who go out and get me to meet new people''. I've tried dating sites but sometimes on them, I have little luck, I just see the same faces on some sites and would press like or ''super-like'' and only get views and no replies to my messages and some people have said ''Well, maybe you are not trying hard enough.''


Become more superficial and similar to people. Then you can find your hubby or wifey. Stay together and resent each other. Consider the dreams lost. This will be your new hobby.



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01 Jan 2022, 3:55 pm

Nades wrote:
Well back to hobbies. It's true that many aspies have unusual hobbies and if it's a hobby associated by the general public as being child like then yes, it could cause some issues.

Hobbies vary a lot for people with autism but it's important to remember that they need to be reigned in if it's a hobby like collecting baby dummies ​example.

There are some hobbies that need to be kept to oneself and not be made into a public spectacle. If I see an aspie walking down the street with a dummy in his mouth I'll probably walk the other way


If the people who do judge people were more open-minded and didn’t belittle people with childlike hobbies and interests, the world would be a better place. I play Neopets avidly and stopped playing my junior year in high school all because some people wanted me to “fit in”.

I’m so lucky my accounts didn’t get deleted due to inactivity. I’d rather be a 16 year old bringing a plushie to school than sneak “other things” in her backpack.


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HighLlama
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01 Jan 2022, 4:01 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Nades wrote:
Well back to hobbies. It's true that many aspies have unusual hobbies and if it's a hobby associated by the general public as being child like then yes, it could cause some issues.

Hobbies vary a lot for people with autism but it's important to remember that they need to be reigned in if it's a hobby like collecting baby dummies ​example.

There are some hobbies that need to be kept to oneself and not be made into a public spectacle. If I see an aspie walking down the street with a dummy in his mouth I'll probably walk the other way


If the people who do judge people were more open-minded and didn’t belittle people with childlike hobbies and interests, the world would be a better place. I play Neopets avidly and stopped playing my junior year in high school all because some people wanted me to “fit in”.

I’m so lucky my accounts didn’t get deleted due to inactivity. I’d rather be a 16 year old bringing a plushie to school than sneak “other things” in her backpack.


You have self-acceptance. This is all you will need in life.



Dial1194
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09 Jan 2022, 9:51 pm

chris1989 wrote:
a morning TV show


Well there's your problem then. :)



auntblabby
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09 Jan 2022, 10:38 pm

in my case the hobbies came about due to the existential vacuum caused by people rejecting me. since i have no social life, that opens up lots of time and energy for hobbies which takes away the sting of being in people's "creep zone" and also focuses the mind on positive constructive things. :idea:



ezbzbfcg2
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09 Jan 2022, 11:26 pm

chris1989 wrote:
The trouble is with someone like me I feel I get so interested in doing something such as trying to write a book or reading something I'm really into that I've even wondered maybe this is a reason why I am single.

An excuse. A coping mechanism to explain it away.

chris1989 wrote:
I seem to think its perceived by others as being weird.

It is, but that's not why you're single. Chicken-or-egg: I think it's the other way around. Singularity comes first; bizarre fixations fill a vacuum of sorts.

auntblabby wrote:
in my case the hobbies came about due to the existential vacuum caused by people rejecting me. since i have no social life, that opens up lots of time and energy for hobbies which takes away the sting of being in people's "creep zone" and also focuses the mind on positive constructive things. :idea:

This. Precisely. This. The "weirdness" doesn't cause social rejections. Rather, the weirdness arises in response to social isolation. Yes.



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10 Jan 2022, 3:11 am

Maybe for some, maybe not for others.

Skeletons in the closet and unable to let go of the past are mine. Maybe atypical, maybe not.



auntblabby
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10 Jan 2022, 3:13 am

it is, for me, not me failing to let go of the past, but [mebbe due to un-dx'ed complex PTSD] the past won't let go of me, it always is lying in wait.



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10 Jan 2022, 4:11 am

Some of those things don't let go of you from the past all the same. Keeping you company when you're alone, just not in the way you want. Closure or no closure, it doesn't seem to matter to that anchor [or whatever metaphor one likes to describe those painful and dark things]. Such are the things some humans must carry.

I...form too strong connections, which can be a good or bad thing depending. Without that anchor, very good. With it, not so good.



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10 Jan 2022, 8:42 am

I've never been married because I never really pursued it.