The upstairs neighbour WAS making noise on purpose

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Joe90
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05 Feb 2022, 2:27 pm

Turns out our upstairs neighbour WAS making more noise than needed on purpose. She moved out a couple of weeks ago and a couple have moved in. As they've been moving in there's certainly been banging and movement about - but still not as bad as the old neighbour! And at least they SLEEP at night and aren't there all day (they must work). So I at least get SOME peace during the day and night, and any noise I do hear is easier to ignore or tolerate because it's not persistent.

So it seems like the old neighbour was always doing some activity, day and night, that involved lots of movement and thumping about, as noisily as she possibly could. Me and my boyfriend were always too polite to tell her. We think she has an obsessive cleaning disorder, insomnia and agoraphobia. You can't really do anything about those sorts of people, the only solution to that is to not live below one.

Hopefully she's moved somewhere where there's nobody living beneath her.


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Fnord
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05 Feb 2022, 2:30 pm

Joe90 wrote:
. . . Hopefully she's moved somewhere where there's nobody living beneath her.
"What goes around comes around"

Hopefully, she lives below someone who tap-dances, plays the drums, and/or breeds kangaroos.


:wink:



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05 Feb 2022, 2:34 pm

I'm so glad you've got a more tolerable neighbour now. It makes all the difference to how comfortable you feel on your own home.



lostonearth35
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07 Feb 2022, 11:46 am

When I was younger I apparently had feet made of lead because I couldn't walk up and down stairs without sounding like an elephant. My mom and my brother were always complaining. That and the "weird" way I'd use stairs. Must be an aspie thing?

When I lived in my old apartment I once had upstairs neighbors who would play loud music at night and sound like they were pile-driving each other through the ceiling. Now I'm living upstairs and I worry if I make too much noise just walking around.



Joe90
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07 Feb 2022, 7:12 pm

The new upstairs neighbours have got a baby, unfortunately, and although they STILL make less noise than the previous neighbour, there seems to be a lot of banging and thumping about around 11pm to midnight above our bedroom, and I was woken by the sound of a baby crying above me this morning, which I'm not too pleased about. Normally upstairs apartments aren't practical when you have a baby, and living below or above a family with a baby can be very distressing. Babies are the loudest living things on Earth and the sound can carry through many walls and floors, and some babies don't know when to stop crying.

But at least their noise isn't persistent and after an hour or two of thumping about late at night above our room, they finally go quiet. With the previous neighbour, we heard her walking (or rather stomping) around literally every hour of the day and night. I think I'd give living below a baby any day over living below an agoraphobic, insomniac, obsessive cleaner. (Agoraphobic=always there, insomniac=never sleeps, obsessive cleaner=always on her feet).


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goldfish21
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07 Feb 2022, 10:27 pm

Joe90 wrote:
The new upstairs neighbours have got a baby, unfortunately, and although they STILL make less noise than the previous neighbour, there seems to be a lot of banging and thumping about around 11pm to midnight above our bedroom, and I was woken by the sound of a baby crying above me this morning, which I'm not too pleased about. Normally upstairs apartments aren't practical when you have a baby, and living below or above a family with a baby can be very distressing. Babies are the loudest living things on Earth and the sound can carry through many walls and floors, and some babies don't know when to stop crying.

But at least their noise isn't persistent and after an hour or two of thumping about late at night above our room, they finally go quiet. With the previous neighbour, we heard her walking (or rather stomping) around literally every hour of the day and night. I think I'd give living below a baby any day over living below an agoraphobic, insomniac, obsessive cleaner. (Agoraphobic=always there, insomniac=never sleeps, obsessive cleaner=always on her feet).


:lol:

Sounds like you've traded your persistently noisy neighbour for ones that just make regular sex noises at night. 8)


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Matrix Glitch
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08 Feb 2022, 2:28 am

I've always lived on the top floor. Except once that I recall which was a nightmare. As someone who lives on the top floor, I try to be quiet as a mouse.



Joe90
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10 Feb 2022, 8:24 am

Matrix Glitch wrote:
I've always lived on the top floor. Except once that I recall which was a nightmare. As someone who lives on the top floor, I try to be quiet as a mouse.


If only everyone was like that.

Although these new neighbours are quieter at night, they still keep making loud noises during the day (although not as constant as the previous neighbour), but it might be them still moving their stuff in and rearranging it. Still, it really hurts my ears when someone starts banging and thumping about in the room above. Makes me wonder what on earth they're doing. Like I already said in another post about this, it sounds like they're walking across a very rickety old bridge when they're above you; every floorboard creaking under stomping footsteps, each footstep sounding longer than a footstep is supposed to be (like a rolling sort of sound rather than treading).

And the baby is one of those that cry a lot more than average because we're always hearing a drone of baby cries, but at least that doesn't hurt my ears obviously. It's just annoyingly distracting.

I really don't think I should live in downstairs apartments any more, because I just can't bear the noise of upstairs neighbours. While I know these neighbours aren't making a noise on purpose like the last neighbour, it still causes me distress whenever I hear them moving around like elephants in the room above. I don't really want to go around with earplugs in forever, as it makes it difficult to converse with my boyfriend or visitors if I've got earplugs in.

Maybe if we get on the council housing list and I tell them that I have ADHD and noise sensitivity, they might help us find a bungalow or something? My boyfriend has knee problems so can't always climb stairs, which is why an upstairs apartment is out of the question (most UK apartment buildings don't have elevators). Do you think the council care about folk with diagnosed ADHD and anxiety? I know that I can't do anything about the noise from upstairs neighbours, as they have the right to move around in their own home during the day, so I thought that if I remove myself from the stress it will be the fairest deal. I do envy those who are less noise sensitive than me and can ignore it. I can't. Just can't. My ears pick up the lowest bumps and bangs, even if I don't hear them physically, as my hearing is close to poor, my ears still seem to pick up on the lowest sounds and it causes an unpleasant sensation. Whenever I say to my boyfriend that it's hurting my ears he just says "it isn't that loud". But it's not how loud it is, it's the tone that gets me. Not to mention it being extremely distracting when I do hear it.

If I was rich I would get us to move into a remote cottage with no neighbours for miles, but we're not that rich. In the UK, only the rich get a quiet life. The working class get lumped together in creaky apartment buildings and are expected to deal with noise and the annoying sound of kids and babies.


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10 Feb 2022, 8:37 am

I share your concern about these issues. I live on the highest floor and I absolute hate any sound of neighbours.

To be totally honest, I´m that neighbour who knock on the door and tell people to be quiet (or in worse case I will bang the wall very hard with a heavy object 3 times). Is hard to complain to people because I know I´m the "sensitive one" with the "excellent hearing" but to me, I feel like they are just noisy and should respect people around them. If it´s kids that making noises, then you have zero right to complain at all... cuz "they´re just kids". Annoying.

You have my sympathy.


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Joe90
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10 Feb 2022, 7:47 pm

alpacka wrote:
I share your concern about these issues. I live on the highest floor and I absolute hate any sound of neighbours.

To be totally honest, I´m that neighbour who knock on the door and tell people to be quiet (or in worse case I will bang the wall very hard with a heavy object 3 times). Is hard to complain to people because I know I´m the "sensitive one" with the "excellent hearing" but to me, I feel like they are just noisy and should respect people around them. If it´s kids that making noises, then you have zero right to complain at all... cuz "they´re just kids". Annoying.

You have my sympathy.


I like when people understand like that, you know that I know people have a right to move about in their own home but you still understand my anxieties. It's better than clichés like "people will make a noise, babies will cry, deal with it". I do like sympathy. :)
I do tend to hone in on noise, that's always been a problem and I'm aware of it. When I was living at home with my parents I got really angry whenever I heard activity going on outside my bedroom, like talking or shuffling around. I demanded everyone to keep the other doors closed to block out the sound but they didn't always remember. I was a nightmare to live with. I think I have misophonia (but not with people eating).
I'm just very easily distracted by noise. It completely takes my attention away from what I'm doing, then I get all stressed and wound up. I was writing an important email to the boss today (at home) but I had to put earplugs in to concentrate, because as soon as I sat down to do it the neighbours upstairs started making annoying banging noises and their brat was crying as usual, and I wouldn't have been able to write the email at all if it wasn't for my earplugs.

Strangely enough, if the noise is NOT in the same room as me, the MORE I get distracted by it!

I have the same frustration with loud bangs from the room above me as an NT would if there was loud music playing on a work night. I cannot ignore it. I cannot ignore anything.


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goldfish21
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10 Feb 2022, 11:08 pm

This thread reminds me:

I’ve never heard my 10yo Godson play his little drum kit because the old woman that lives below them complains about noise so he’s only allowed to play them between certain hours on certain days if at all - so over the last 3-4 years I’ve never once heard him play them and dunno if he even does.. because of “The Lady :roll:,” as he would say.

I get being respectful to neighbours, and my friends family are super respectful people, but it sucks he can’t play them in the early evening Ever.


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Joe90
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11 Feb 2022, 1:21 am

Well a child playing with a toy drum isn't being disrespectful of the neighbours...but I can sympathise with the lady...but I can also sympathise with the little boy too. The lady is probably noise sensitive like me (you don't always have to be Aspie to be noise sensitive).

It's a difficult situation really. The little boy has more right than not to play with his toy, and it's not fair to have to walk on eggshells because of her. It's why I don't go up and complain, because I don't want them to have to walk on eggshells because of me. But that doesn't stop me from feeling annoyed with certain noises that I can hear.

Still, these people with a baby are still less noisier than the woman that used to live there.


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theprisoner
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11 Feb 2022, 3:59 am

Yeah it's terrible. Some people,are just way more noisy than others. My experience pretty much parallels yours.


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alpacka
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11 Feb 2022, 7:51 am

Joe90 wrote:
alpacka wrote:
I share your concern about these issues. I live on the highest floor and I absolute hate any sound of neighbours.

To be totally honest, I´m that neighbour who knock on the door and tell people to be quiet (or in worse case I will bang the wall very hard with a heavy object 3 times). Is hard to complain to people because I know I´m the "sensitive one" with the "excellent hearing" but to me, I feel like they are just noisy and should respect people around them. If it´s kids that making noises, then you have zero right to complain at all... cuz "they´re just kids". Annoying.

You have my sympathy.


I like when people understand like that, you know that I know people have a right to move about in their own home but you still understand my anxieties. It's better than clichés like "people will make a noise, babies will cry, deal with it". I do like sympathy. :)
I do tend to hone in on noise, that's always been a problem and I'm aware of it. When I was living at home with my parents I got really angry whenever I heard activity going on outside my bedroom, like talking or shuffling around. I demanded everyone to keep the other doors closed to block out the sound but they didn't always remember. I was a nightmare to live with. I think I have misophonia (but not with people eating).
I'm just very easily distracted by noise. It completely takes my attention away from what I'm doing, then I get all stressed and wound up. I was writing an important email to the boss today (at home) but I had to put earplugs in to concentrate, because as soon as I sat down to do it the neighbours upstairs started making annoying banging noises and their brat was crying as usual, and I wouldn't have been able to write the email at all if it wasn't for my earplugs.

Strangely enough, if the noise is NOT in the same room as me, the MORE I get distracted by it!

I have the same frustration with loud bangs from the room above me as an NT would if there was loud music playing on a work night. I cannot ignore it. I cannot ignore anything.


We have a lot in common with these noise experiences, it´s a huge problem but I´m happy you appreciate my sympathy (One of those things I feel lacking these days in general).
I can only relate and as I said, sympathize with you on this, as soon as a neighbour making noises I feel frustration, anger, irritation and that I can´t take it, it´s even more frustrating to know that anyone else don´t share this issue (meaning more "normal" people) except here on this very platform :D


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Joe90
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13 Feb 2022, 7:18 am

I'm not feeling too well today (anxiety-related tummy ache that won't go away), and just want some peace and quiet, but the upstairs neighbour is banging about so loudly in the room above that I can even hear it with earplugs in. I'm tempted to post a note through their door saying "I'm not feeling well, please do whatever you're doing a little more quietly", but I just know that would be selfish of me, as it is the middle of the day. It sounds like they're throwing heavy boxes of books across the room, slamming every door in sight, and having a game of bowling, all in one small room. I've never heard such noise in all my life but it is causing me great stress. If only people knew how much noise they're making for the people below.


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13 Feb 2022, 7:21 am

I have experienced stuff like that. Going outside helps. Also noise cancellation earphones. But' there's not much can be done. The price of living in overcrowded areas.


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