[ POLL ] Pride v. Vanity; Which is More Important to You?

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Which is more important to you?
 Pride, only. 36%  36%  [ 4 ]
 Pride, and maybe a little vanity. 27%  27%  [ 3 ]
 Neither or both, equally. 27%  27%  [ 3 ]
 Vanity, and maybe a little pride. 9%  9%  [ 1 ]
 Vanity only. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 11

Fnord
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19 May 2022, 8:57 am

I recently came across the following quote:

"Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously.  A person may be proud without being vain.  Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us."

Assuming these definitions are valid, which would you rather be: Prideful or Vain?

You may select any one option in the poll, and you may change your selection at any time.

Please keep this thread on-track, and keep all discussions civil.

Thank you.



munstead
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19 May 2022, 8:59 am

This poll is beneath me. I'm going back to looking at myself in the mirror.



Fnord
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19 May 2022, 9:08 am

In keeping with the subject of this thread, here is a little entertainment for you . . .



kraftiekortie
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19 May 2022, 9:15 am

I believe it is "normal" for one to have some vanity and some pride. It's how you present your vanity and pride which is important.

The best thing to do is to be confident in yourself, without making yourself a walking advertisement.



lostonearth35
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19 May 2022, 10:27 am

I learned long ago that being proud of anything you did was wrong. So even when I do feel good about something I did, I know deep down I shouldn't be because there are millions of people who could do the same thing ten times better than I do. And what's a mirror? Ha ha kidding, I have mirrors, I just don't like looking into them.



Fnord
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19 May 2022, 10:32 am

I think well enough of myself to stand up for what I believe is right.  I feel just enough vanity to shower and shave every morning, to groom what's left of my hair, and to comport myself well enough to inspire interest in me and respect for me in others.



Lunella
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19 May 2022, 10:59 am

This doesn't make sense sorry, everyone has different levels of different things, the question really is do you have accurate healthy levels of pride/vanity, because if they are above the level that psychologists deem normal then you're delving into the world of narcissism or some other mental illness.

If your levels of vanity are above normal then this indicates deep insecurity problems where your vanity levels become off the charts, same with pride really, being overly proud is like another form of insecurity where say for example these over achievers where they've got so many medals for stuff in life they don't know what to do with is like saying once I was s**t and I'm not s**t anymore but rubbing it in everyones face because they still have the insecurity from before which is why their pride is now unbalanced and not showing healthy levels because they feel they have something to prove despite no one really caring in the first place. It can be a vicious cycle.

Vanity again, you see these people who have ridiculous plastic surgery like the real barbie who got her rib removed or the real ken doll or whatever, these people are actually seriously deeply insecure and have mental health problems stemming through their insecurity, so if you don't have the levels you're supposed to have then you will have problems in life imo.

Even if you're just slightly over these levels people notice and sort of avoid you because there's something "off" about you in their eyes so it's always best to just never be too overbearing or too loud about yourself, people aren't into that generally.


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Fnord
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19 May 2022, 11:18 am

Lunella wrote:
This doesn't make sense sorry, everyone has different levels of different things, the question really is do you have accurate healthy levels of pride/vanity, because if they are above the level that psychologists deem normal then you're delving into the world of narcissism or some other mental illness. . .
Hence, only those psychologists you mentioned can determine the quantitative levels of pride and/or vanity.

That is why I am asking members to give their opinions on their own qualitative values of pride and/or vanity.



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19 May 2022, 11:49 am

When my girlfriend was growing up she was taught that pride was wrong & she has majorly low self-esteem & a bad depression partly because of it. She compares herself to non-disabled people who are much more independent than her & she feels like a complete failure for not measuring up. She never judges other disableds that way thou, she's her own worst critic :cry: I've been there myself before where I felt like a total loser for being disabled & not being independent like most other people & I was very depressed at the time partly because of it. I try not to judge myself by how I compare to others. I know I have way more than my fair share of faults, issues, & problems but a lot of it was partly due to circumstances beyond my control, I just got a bad draw in life or whatever. Instead of hating myself because there will always be PLENTY of people who are much better at most things than me, I'd much rather feel good about myself for the ways I have worked on myself to try, grow, learn, & mature in spite of the bad circumstances/bad luck. I could of completely given up on life & offed myself or just not of tried anything & be completely dependent on others :wink: Sometimes people can try their very best & do everything right but still end up losing through no fault of their own. Instead of hating themselves because they lost, it's better to feel good for how far they've got & the progress they've made. I voted for Pride Only


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20 May 2022, 8:43 am

[opinion=mine]

I'll throw this other tidbit into the mix: "Shame relates to our opinion of ourselves, while humility relates to what we would have others think of us."

So pride and shame are how we feel about ourselves, while vanity and humility are expressions of how we want other people to feel about us.

• Pride is feeling happy about your most recent victory, while shame is feeling miserable about your most recent failure.

• Vanity is trying to impress others with how wonderful you are, while humility is trying to impress others with how ordinary you are.


[/opinion]



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20 May 2022, 11:16 am

Fnord wrote:
[opinion=mine]

I'll throw this other tidbit into the mix: "Shame relates to our opinion of ourselves, while humility relates to what we would have others think of us."

So pride and shame are how we feel about ourselves, while vanity and humility are expressions of how we want other people to feel about us.

• Pride is feeling happy about your most recent victory, while shame is feeling miserable about your most recent failure.

• Vanity is trying to impress others with how wonderful you are, while humility is trying to impress others with how ordinary you are.


[/opinion]
I didn't think of humility this way. I thought of humility as kind of the opposite of arrogance. Being humble is not about impressing people but rather believing that your not superior & are no more important than others. Humbleness is kinda about not being a show-off & not rubbing your victories & achievements in others faces because you know others worked hard as well & probably could of done better than you if they had the some situation, circumstances, & opportunities. You can be vein & also humble; you can care what others think about you & try to make a good impression while also recognizing that others are better & more important than you & you are gracious about it. You can also be prideful & humble; you can feel good about yourself for your achievements & accomplishments & how far you've gone while also recognizing that others are just as good & just as important as you & you are gracious about it.
That's just my opinion thou & I could be wrong.


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22 May 2022, 3:38 am

Pride. Absolutely pride.
About a good 95% of it against 5%.

The vanity part? I just don't work very hard for whatever passable baseline there is. It just coincides with pride -- just do my asocial priorities coincides with other's approval.


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klanka
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22 May 2022, 3:44 am

I'm proud of my awesome vanity



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22 May 2022, 9:12 am

Using your definitions, it'd be vanity, as I do care what some people think of me. Just some people.

I don't really feel pride, nor vanity, with the real definitions. Outside of one instance: I think others should be proud of the things they've done in the face of fear, adversity and/or whatnot. For me, it's just ho-hum, no big deal, and anyone could have done it; me no special.