Page 1 of 1 [ 11 posts ] 

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,378
Location: Near London United Kingdom

27 May 2022, 6:15 am

At school when I was 14 I remember I was tripped up on purpose by a kid who was 2 years older than me. In retaliation I kicked him and he then proceeded to punch me and I lost the fight.

Who do you think was in the wrong here me or the older guy? Some people have said that I actually deserved to get punched because I should have just walked away but what are your opinions?



Radish
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2022
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,075
Location: UK

27 May 2022, 6:40 am

I always fought back, no matter how much older or bigger the other guy. It sometimes landed me in trouble, but I also got a reputation as not someone to mess with unless you wanted a fist in your face. I think you've got to stand up for yourself or forever be other people's walking mat.


_________________
This space intentionally left blank.


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,378
Location: Near London United Kingdom

27 May 2022, 6:57 am

Radish wrote:
I always fought back, no matter how much older or bigger the other guy. It sometimes landed me in trouble, but I also got a reputation as not someone to mess with unless you wanted a fist in your face. I think you've got to stand up for yourself or forever be other people's walking mat.




Well obviously standing up for myself came at a price.



Radish
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2022
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,075
Location: UK

27 May 2022, 7:03 am

Yes, did me too on occasion, but better that than be forever under someone's foot.


_________________
This space intentionally left blank.


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,378
Location: Near London United Kingdom

27 May 2022, 7:07 am

Radish wrote:
Yes, did me too on occasion, but better that than be forever under someone's foot.



As a result of getting punched my nose has developed into a bent shape over time.



Radish
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2022
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,075
Location: UK

27 May 2022, 7:28 am

Such is life. You make decisions and live with the consequences, no point rehashing what might be if you'd done things differently. We all have regrets but better not to dwell on them. Look to the present and future.


_________________
This space intentionally left blank.


nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 25,583
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

27 May 2022, 7:45 am

Radish wrote:
Such is life. You make decisions and live with the consequences, no point rehashing what might be if you'd done things differently. We all have regrets but better not to dwell on them. Look to the present and future.
Good point but it is also good to try & learn what we can from things to avoid repeat situations with outcomes we wished were different.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 24,179
Location: UK

27 May 2022, 8:48 am

If he hadn't of tripped you over then you wouldn't have kicked him. So it was his own fault.


_________________
Female
Aged 32

Diagnosed with ADHD
Have Anxiety Disorder
Diagnosed with mild ASD but I don't identify as autistic


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,378
Location: Near London United Kingdom

27 May 2022, 9:11 am

Joe90 wrote:
If he hadn't of tripped you over then you wouldn't have kicked him. So it was his own fault.


It was actually out of character for me to kick back since I was tripped over a lot in school.



temp1234
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Apr 2022
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,444

27 May 2022, 9:22 am

It's the other guy's fault. He did something malicious to you when you didn't anything wrong. This is pretty much bullying. You shouldn't have to be in a situation where you have to "fight back". It's barbaric. It should have been dealt with officially by the school and possibly by the police. People should always face the consequences of their malicious action legally. I never "fight back" (especially in my adulthood) because the I'd end up being treated as "someone who participated in a fight" rather than a victim. Especially if you are a male person, you have that disadvantage.



Suzyb
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 25 May 2022
Gender: Female
Posts: 208
Location: UK

27 May 2022, 9:30 am

Jamesy wrote:
........It was actually out of character for me to kick back since I was tripped over a lot in school.


I think this is a fair point. How much should one have to put up with at school until you do retaliate?

I dont think there is a right or wrong answer to it and there are consequences to every action, regardless just as there would be consequences had you not retaliated. Would he have targeted you again and your nose would still be damaged, just a little later down the line.

Generally, I dont feel you were in the wrong and it says volumes to me about any child who targets younger children. It is simple bullying knowing that he can't trip his own age or he is likely to be punched and wont win. Bullies have more going on in their lives than we see when we are children.

It will certainly shape any advice you pass on to children in the future.